


Falling In Love With A Homicidal Maniac

by BlueBananas



Category: Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Doctor/Patient, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Killing, Masturbation, Organized Crime, Sex Toys, Sexual Content, Strong Female Characters, Video Cameras, Violence, Voyeurism, boundaries crossed, dirty cop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-08-12 21:52:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7950508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBananas/pseuds/BlueBananas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on how an intelligent woman like Dr. Harleen Quinnzel can fall in love with someone as insane as the Joker. The real life spiral into insanity and into love. At the same time. </p>
<p>This is a long and thought out story, definitely worth a read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The News

Ch1. The News

I pulled through the front gate of Arkham Asylum and my good morning mood began to deflate at the prospects of facing my patients again today. It was Wednesday which meant I had Henry the child mind, and Gilda the broken. Both of them had been abused pretty badly as children and their adults minds hadn’t been able to cope. Henry had chosen to stay in his childhood before his abuse had begun at the age of five, he was easy to talk to. I haven’t been able to reach Gilda yet, only make her sessions enjoyable by playing music. Sometimes we would even dance. I,Harleen Quinnzel, am the only psychiatrist that has Gilda liked in the whole five years that she has been here.

Dr. Quinnzel had only worked at Arkham for two years but she was already getting tired of it. Yet she still had three more years before she would have enough experience to start working with the Gotham P.D. That was her real goal after all, becoming a criminal psychologist and profiler.

She had slowed down on her way up to the asylum, taking the snakey drive way up at a leisurely pace. She was paid a small salary, and no one really cared when she showed up as long as it was in time for her patients. They were very strict about patients schedules, less so about the psychiatrists.

As she pulled up to the front of the asylum and the parking lot she saw a news van and an army of guards and caregivers swarming around a, presumably, new patient that was being wheeled into the front doors. With all the people flowing around the gurney she couldn’t see the new patient, only a tiny glimpse of the color green before he was swallowed up by the doors of the asylum. She parked far out and started walking towards the building. She watched as the reporters tried to press inside the building and the guards were pushing them back. The caregivers were slowly making their way back inside and making sure not to let any reporters through with them.

As she got closer one of her work friends spotted her and walked out to meet her before she got to the crowd outside the door. It was Jed, one of the caregivers that was especially gentle and nurturing. His sister was one of Arkham’s patients and he had become a caregiver to be close with and protect her. He was a really nice guy. Now it seemed he wanted to protect Harleen, as he met her he put an arm around her shoulders. Not something he usually did.

“They are here because of our brand new patient Dr. Quinnzel.” He spoke quietly in my ear.

I smiled. “What? Did a football player get one too many smacks on the head today?”

Jed shook his head. Only half heartedly smirking at my joke.”No doctor, you’ll see.”

My smile disappeared, I didn’t like his mood. A sense of dread wiggled its way into my heart. I got this feeling that something bad was happening here, something that would be bad for me personally. Like a thunderstorm directly over my home. Or, office.

Jed pulled me along and inside the building. The reporters yelled at me like a pack of dogs barking. “Doctor! Doctor! What will you do to him! What room number is he? Will you lobotomize him? Will you be personally assigned to the Joker? Do you think he is attractive! What medication will he be on?” All these questions I had no idea how to answer were flung at me and it was very relieving to get inside and out of that swarm of reporters.

Judy our front desk secretary looked at me critically. “Good luck with that crazy Doctor Quinnzel.” I came out of my confusion fog to frown at her, I have told her dozens of times to stop calling patients things like that. “Judy.” I growled at her, she knew, I didn’t need to spell out my feelings again.

Jed just pulled me along. “Dr. Lisbon wants to talk to-” Jed was interrupted by the person he had just talked out, Dr. Lisbon's voice echoed through the whole place over the intercom. “All doctors report to the meeting room ASAP! All doctors must be briefed.” 

Lisbon had never said anything like that over the intercom before, and it immediately made all employees worry a little. As I stepped into the main corridor with Jed’s arm still around my shoulders, I saw other doctors walking quickly towards the meeting room. I pulled Jed’s arm off of me, he didn’t argue or react at all, he just watched as more doctors appeared from around corners, all heading our way.

“ I gotta go Jed.” He nodded, but I hadn’t waited for his permission, I was already following the others down the hall. It only took a minute or two to get there but my mind wasn’t focusing on the movement. I was just feeling complete confusion, what was going on?

I entered the meeting room with five other doctors in tow, there were about twenty five of us in all, plus Lisbon the hospital’s head doctor. He was a big fat man who ran the hospital like a business, I guess it was really. His three major underlings were the one’s who really cared about our patients. They were always very busy and working into the night, Dr. Lisbon was not he left sharply at 4pm everyday like clockwork.

We all sat down at our seats around the grey particle board table. Lisbon was at the main end and some of us started pulling out paper and pens to take notes on what’s happening. It was force of habit for psychiatrists. The others were all murmuring to each other nervously. But I kept my eyes on Lisbon who would tell us what was going on.

“Quiet!” He ordered, his chins wagging abit. A tiny bit of resentment and loathing leaked out of me, he was as awful inside as out. He had delusions of grandeur, greed, and I knew he accepted bribes too. I always took everything he said with a grain of salt, today though, I was paying absolute attention.

“We have an especially interesting new patient today, I am sure you all noticed the hub-bub outside a few minutes ago.”

Everyone nodded like he asked a question. He had also paused for that acknowledgment. I am not sure why.

“You might consider him a hopeless case, but we here at Arkham are dedicated to helping our patients the best we can. I need volunteers to take his case.”

No one moved a centimeter. Which is unusual. One time we had an infamous Gotham politician here and the other doctors nearly drew blood fighting to get him as a patient. Now, not one person asked for it. Some were shaking their heads.

I raised my hand for a question. Lisbon spotted me quickly. “Oh! You have some balls Doctor Quinnzel!”

“Wait.” I said quietly, “I just wanted to ask, who? Who is it?” Someone behind me giggled nervously, others chuckled. I wasn’t sure why, but they thought I was stupid.

Lisbon shook his head, “You obviously didn’t see the news this morning Doctor. Our new guest is the baddest batshit crazy criminal that calls Gotham home, the Joker.” I gasped. He smiled at me maliciously, “And you are his new psychiatrist.”

I am so taken aback that my legs automatically shoot out and push my chair out from the table and I stand up. “What! I’m, I’m, just an intern!” Lisbon nodded with a smile on his face still, “Yes, and interns do the work that doctor’s don’t find a priority for themselves. Since every doctor here seems to have a full schedule right now, it seems you are it.”

She looked over to the other three interns that had started around her time. They were vehemently shaking their heads, not willing to even speak up for her. No one did. 

“Fine.” Harleen Quinnzel said icily, then sat down again. “I have Monday’s and Friday’s free.”

“Great!” Lisbon smirked triumphantly at me, I could here a few snickers go around the table. I knew what was really going on though, fear. The Joker was a notorious criminal, who was known for getting revenge on anyone who crossed his path, and killed others on a whim. This was going to be a very dangerous assignment for me. 

Charlie, another doctor who worked here asked, “Why isn’t he in prison?” Lisbon had a million different smiles, this one was the cat who caught the canary sort of smile. “Because, Batman felt that the Joker needs mental help and might not be able to get help to break out of here since I have hired double the security. Gotham P.D. appreciates my cooperation.”

I frowned even more and looked down at the table hard, he was saying that he got paid to keep the Joker here. He was corrupt as any politician in Gotham. They never considered the harm that could come to average citizens when they pulled strings for their advantage. What if the Joker murdered me?

A thrill went down my spine quite strongly, it took me by surprise. I reminded myself that the whole reason I had volunteered for this internship at Arkham was because I wanted experience with the criminally insane, I wanted my career to focus on people like the Joker. It was really a giant gift that had fallen into my lap.

I smiled at my lap quietly.

This was really everything I had ever wanted. I was about to have infinite one on one interviews with the most insane person in all of Gotham. He is mine. And he doesn’t even know it yet.

Lisbon had a few more things to say, mostly about the new security for the Joker and new protocols. He told us he would have a meeting with the security team next to discuss all the new protocols and that we would get an email about it before the end of the day. I wrote down a few notes but didn’t pay much attention, I will read it again later.

We were dismissed, I wanted to argue with Lisbon but he was talking to someone who had come into the room late. I didn’t recognize the man. So, I just left, walking down the halls and into my very small office. I pulled the curtain on the tiny wire laced window of my office. The tiny window seemed like a joke in a room the size of a closet, but I was thankful for it most days. Enjoying the people passing by, and patients giving me awkward smiles and waves.

Today I needed some privacy.

The other doctors wanted nothing to do with the Joker, and considered me the unlucky one for getting him. I did too. Even if I also felt like this was an opportunity to kickstart my career. Another thrill ran down my spine. I would have called it ambition, anticipation, or excitement.

What I didn’t realize at the time, that there was fear in that feeling. That the fear warped with my excitement to create a sexual thrill inside me. 

Today was Wednesday and I would go about my usual meeting with Henry and Gilda, and file new reports about them. The Joker had two more days to get comfortable with Arkham Asylum before we met for the first time.


	2. The First Interview

Ch 2. The First Interview

I pulled into Arkham parking lot ten minutes early for work, something I did rarely. I got out of the car with a brand new notebook, and a piping hot cup of coffee. My heels clicked on the wet pavement as I made my way towards the sliding doors of the main entrance. I wore red heels with dark blue jeans and a light pink turtleneck. I had stopped wearing my more attractive clothing to work when I had gotten vomited or pissed on a few times. It also is considered better to dress conservative around patients.

We doctors like to think that our patients sexual urges won’t be directed towards us if we dress plainly. I knew that wasn’t true, I had two years under my belt after all so the veil was lifted. Yet the stigma of attractive clothes at work still persisted here at Arkham. I was actually sent home twice when some staff complained my skirts were too short, at knee length. They weren’t even pencil skirts.

Even what I was wearing right now would be considered graphic to my co-workers. They all wore clothes like paper bags and gray knit. So maybe, just maybe, I wanted the Joker to think of me as attractive? I could justify it by saying that it’s a ploy to get him to open up to me. But, deep down, I knew it was because I was meeting a powerful character of Gotham society, and I wanted to impress him just a little.

Not to be vain, but I know that I am perfect ten walking into any bar on any given night. Conservative clothes couldn’t hold down me down!

This mental pep talk had me entering the building with a confident swagger in my step. Judy the secretary noticed right away, I could tell by her frown. Because some people were hopelessly predictable and open faced. I smiled at her brightly and walked by without so much as a pause.

Inside my head I told her she better keep her fucking mouth closed.

As I made my way to my office which was down four other corridors I ran into Jed. His face was tense even while he smiled to greet me. “Hey Doctor Quinnzel.” He stopped his journey wherever he had been going to talk with me. He had a small med kit with him. “Good morning Jed, how have you been?” I hadn’t seen much of him in the last couple days, I had been doing some personal paperwork in my office since my patients haven’t been roudy.

“I’m fine, it’s just.... The new patient.... He really puts me on edge.”

Usually Jed had no qualms about spilling the dish on patients, it worried me to see him so uncomfortable. “What do you mean?”

He looked down at the floor a minute, then looked at me, his expression was pinched. “Since he got here wednesday, I have had to tranquilize him six times. He is already at his max dose for the week.” He took a pause to think, but I could tell he wasn’t finished so I didn’t interrupt, just nodded my head. “He also tried to bribe me, and threaten me, in the same sentence.”

“Wow.” I was kind of impressed, it usually took a few days or week before the bribes come along. “Fast talker I guess?” Jed nodded “I need to report it to the security commander for him. He needs to know that Joker is serious about bribes, he offered me ten thousand dollars Doctor!” My eyebrows went even higher. It was a high enough amount that he might really be able to persuade someone here to help him. “You are right to talk about it Jed, you should tell the security guy today.” Jed nodded and moved past me a little, telling me with body language he was ready to move on. “See you later Doctor Quinnzel.” I waved to him and stepped into my office moments later.

On my desk were two boxes of files, the side of the boxes labeled “The Joker” with sloppy penmanship. I sat down in my little wheely chair and start fingering the file title heads. It went by decade and big events. 1940-1950’s, His other persona called Red Hood, 1960-1980’s, The poisoning at the U.N., 1990-2010’s. If he had been about twenty years old when he started his criminal life then he had to be around 96 years old now. I dove into the files.

I learned a ton about the Joker, although it didn’t give a great description of his personality. Most of the paperwork came from decades of police reports on him. He has killed easily 2,000 people and over, but never saw any long term jail time. He had been put in Arkham asylum dozens of times and had escaped or been set free every time according to incident reports. I started to realize that he never seemed to stay anywhere more than a few months to a year, even when he is lawfully committed.

Harleen felt a deep sense of the invisible hand at work in the Joker’s life. That bigger angles were turning in Gotham than people really understood. Or, maybe the whole system is inept and corrupt, she didn’t know.

She asked herself, if the Joker is this old, doesn’t that mean that Batman had to be the same? There was no way that a 96 year old Batman is still searching the streets every night. Who are these heros and villains? How is it possible that they have been involved in Gotham’s history over generations?

Why didn’t anyone know the Joker’s true identity?

She had only gotten through a quarter of one box of the files before her phone went off with an alarm. It was time for her first meeting with him. She picked up her brand new notebook, her coffee thermos and put on her white coat and glasses. Then stopped by the break room for a coffee refill which was halfway between her office and the Joker’s cell, number 777. She rolled her eyes, Harleen didn’t need to read the files to know that the Joker had a penchant for gambling.

Peter one of the regular guards was outside the room, he was the sullen serious type. Probably a good fit to watch the Joker, since Peter never laughed.

“Hey Peter! Hey! Hey! Heyyyy!” Came an angry yelling from behind the door. Peter totally ignored the voice and just looked at me, “Hello Doctor Quinnzel, let’s get this over with.” I raised a brow at his attitude, but he didn’t notice because he was talking to his walkie talkie radio. “All right, she’s here, let's move him to the interrogation room.” The radio crackled with an affirmative type answer. 

“Do you really think the interrogation room is necessary?” Peter looked at me incredulously. In his opinion I was out of my mind not to have the Joker locked up like a high security prison. I guess the danger hadn’t set in enough for me yet. Maybe meeting him would change that?

“Yes ma'am, it’s very very necessary.” He said directly and a little sarcastically. I couldn’t blame his feeling I guess. My new patient has killed and tortured thousands of people, who else would be a high security risk?

That thrill went down my spine again and I felt my heart pound in my chest from anticipation.

A whole team of guards showed up in the hallway fully dressed in tactical gear and some even hand guns. As far as I knew the guards were not supposed to have lethal weapons on the grounds at all. I backed away from the door and let them do their job. 

Peter pulled out the key card for the door and the others spread out around it some of them having tasers in their hands. Peter pulled the handle and the door opened slowly. He had been placed in a full padded room, so the door had cushion on the other side. Half the guards spilled into the room to restrain him. It took a few minutes to put the hand and ankle cuffs on, and then the straight jacket. I could hear them rustling as he struggled and their orders barking at him. He laughed while he struggled, clearly disturbed.

As they began to pull him from the room I flattened myself against the wall and let them pass. Finally I saw him, his visage striking me so soundly that I stopped breathing, seeing through his unusual coloring he was absolutely gorgeous. 

Our eyes lock onto each others, once I caught his eye he didn’t let go, twisting his neck around to peer at me as he was dragged down the hall. He wasn’t fighting the guards anymore. Just staring at me. For a few minutes I was paralyzed. Until I blinked and they were most of the way down the hall, I jogged to catch up with them, my heels were loud on the floor.

“Is that luscious lady mine?” I heard him ask Peter loudly. His voice echoed down the hall.

“She is your assigned psychiatrist, yes.” Peter answered with a growl. The Joker laughed again as he let them drag him away. I let myself lag behind, cooling down from the sudden heat that took over me. Why was I having such a strong reaction? I have never had an emotional reaction to a patient before, not to anyone really. 

I slowed down to walking casually. I didn’t even register the yelling and blabbering patients in the rooms around me. Just the pounding of my heart and the image of his face in my mind. It was dawning on me that a new chapter of my life was unfolding and I wasn’t sure where it was taking me.

I breathed deeply to calm myself. I needed to get into my professional headspace again. I couldn’t walk into this meeting with my heart on my sleeve for him. He would devour me. Again I had that electric thrill run down my spine. I just tried to relax and get to the interrogation room.

I found the guards outside the room, in a line on each side of the door. Peter was waiting to talk to me, face grim. “I didn’t want to get in your way, on the move.” I said as an excuse that I was minutes behind them.

Peter pressed a small black pad with a red button on it into my hand. “Hold this at all times, at any moment you feel threatened or he touches you at all, press this. You can also yell for us.”

“Come on Lady! Get in here and talk to me!” I heard him yell through the door.

Peter opened for me and came in after me. He checked the chains that were laced through bars on the table. I knew the table was bolted to the floor. Peter was glaring at him, I was staring at him. And he grinned back at us, eyes on me. I saw his gaze slide down my body like a caress, ending with my heels. He grinned back up at me.

Suddenly I felt shy and afraid. He was like a snake hypnotizing me while he planned how to eat me alive. I swallowed thickly, then made a safe rather than sorry decision. I leaned on the table and pulled off my heels and gave them to Peter. At first he seemed angered, then understood.

I sat down on the chair in front of my patient. He quietly watched me. “Hello... Mr. Joker.....I am Doctor Harleen Quinnzel, and I am going to be treating you this time around here at Arkham.” I made sure he understood that I knew he was no first time guest here at the Asylum. He giggled, I guessed he liked my attitude. 

“You are so new I can smell the fresh ink on you Puddin.” He leered at me.

I wasn’t afraid of his over sexual manner. I knew that many men used their sexuality as a threat or a way to control others. It was also a shield from his real feelings.

“I have been here for about two years, you are not my first patient.”  
He cackled at me, I watched his face squeeze up in amusement and found it slightly attractive. Even though I could see he was putting on a creep factor me, it wasn’t working. I knew that he had experience with psychiatrists before, had even killed some of them.

He suddenly stopped laughing and looked at me with deep seeded hatred in his eyes. “Don’t think you are gonna pry open my head Puddin, your looks won’t get you shit from me!” He yelled this at me, but I am used to this. I understood what he meant.

“Well, you have given me a smile Mr. Joker, I am happy to have that at least.”

He scowled at me and put his hand over his mouth, it had a tattoo of an expansive grin on it.

He refused to talk to me anymore. I asked him if he would like to go back to his cell and he nodded, still keeping his mouth covered. 

I coolly walked out of the room and put my heels back on and walked to my office without so much as a backward glance. Even when I heard him yelling. When I got inside my office I turned around and locked the door, leaning on it.

I felt my heart pounding in my chest.

I wasn’t sure why, but I might just have feelings for the Joker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XD


	3. The Second Session

Ch 3. The Second session 

“Your looks won’t get you shit from me!” His voice yelled at me again, and again, and again. I watched his lips move. It was dark and the only thing I could see was his face, yelling at me over and over.

I woke up like surfacing from deep dark waters, my mind becoming conscience with a gasp as I sat up in bed. The morning light was soft in my studio apartment in central Gotham City. I looked around seeing the vibrant colors of my possessions in my home, it felt very relieving after that dark dream. I hopped out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom to pee, my bladder was very insistent when I woke up. While I sat on the pot I checked my cell phone, finding a text from my cousin Sarah saying she would love to get together for drinks tonight.

Harleen replied she was down.

She got out of the bathroom and made herself breakfast, ate it, and headed to the gym. Harleen worked out about three days a week, always on Saturday’s. She did her routine at the gym and sat in the hot tub for a while afterwards. It was noon by the time she got out and she stopped for lunch at a bistro around the corner from her home. She was mid bite of a sandwich when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Then a man sat down across from her at her table. It happened to be the man that she saw Dr. Lisbon arguing with the other day. She only recognized him because he was wearing the same clothes from Wednesday. Black collared shirt, khaki pants, a receding hairline.

“Hello doctor.” He said plainly. His eyes met mine mindly.

“I am here on the behalf of my employer, some one who is one of your patients at Arkham. He wants you to do him a little favor.”

I blinked at him. I couldn’t believe that the Joker has been locked down for less than a week and he has already sent someone to threaten me.

“This is a shake down?”

He shook his head. “All he wants is that you write good reports about him for the courts.”

It was simply asking me to lie.

“Why would I do that?”

“You want money?” He looked at me hard ball, like he wanted to give me a low offer. It pissed me off quickly, I hated people treating me like some low life.

“No!” I yelled at him. Other people looked at us and he cringed away from their stares.

“Okay, okay!” He growled at me.

“If he wants me to write good reports then he can be good during our meetings and stop hurting our staff.” I shook my head. “All he has to do is be a good boy for three months until his first behavioral overview.”

The man just stood up and shook his head at me. “Just write good reports doc, or you’ll regret it.” He walked out of the bistro, I could see him move away through the glass windows. I sighed and rubbed my temples. He had threatened me, but only a little. 

Was it crazy that I hadn’t just gone along with it? That I had just told one of the Joker’s henchmen no, I wouldn’t be bullied or bribed? I was surely in danger now, but, somehow I wasn’t scared. I was...stubborn. I refused to give into intimidation or threats.

I just told the most powerful crime lord in all of Gotham no.  
I have balls.

I felt powerful and maybe a little tense. I worried that the henchman would be back to threaten me again. So I needed to arm myself. I left the bistro and used my phone to search the best gun store in Gotham and went there. I looked through the glass cases of guns, I tried handling a few I liked and picked out a metallic blue colored Colt 45 pistol and a thigh holster for it. After leaving the store I went to the local gun range and practised with it.

Yes, I casually bought a gun after being threatened by a gangster. This is a normal thing when you live in Gotham City.

It annoyed me that men kept asking me, “What does a pretty little thing like you need a gun for?” As if a pretty lady could never get in trouble, or maybe she should just let men handle her problems. No, it’s my life and I am going to protect it myself.

I think, that I was safe tonight. So I didn’t need bring it with me to meet up with my cousin Sarah tonight. I hung it from my bedframe at home and got ready to go out. I wanted to feel sexy tonight, since five days a week I had to be unnaturally conservative. I decided on my tight red bodycon dress and my red heels that I wore on Wednesday. I curled just the ends of my long golden blonde hair and put on some gold jewelry to accent my outfit. Looking in the mirror was like looking at the cover of a fashion magazine. Every woman would want to be me.

It was about 9 o’clock when I text Sarah asking her where she would like to meet up. She told me to go to Gonzie’s,an awesome chinese restaurant with a full bar. She said we would start there and walk to the other bars that surrounded the restaurant. I liked her idea because Gonzie’s was a very short cab ride away. I put my phone, cards, keys, and lipstick in a small gold clutch purse and left my apartment.

I hailed a cab and took it to Gonzie’s. I walked in the front door and immediately spotted Sarah, she was dressed in a bright canary yellow dress, it was that classic 1950’s style with a halter strap. It looked great on her. We made quite a pair as we hugged and sat down at the table with about a dozen of her friends.

Sarah was a very attention needy socialite type, she only went out if it was with a large group and she was the prettiest woman there. Which meant that she usually didn’t call me to go out. So this was kind of a special occasion for me. She was so bright and bubbly today that I understood how she thought that I wouldn’t outshine her tonight. Not when she was dressed like the sun!

I began talking with her friends, charming the shit out of them. There are many perks to having a doctorate in psychology, the ability to integrate into a group of people is one of them. Well, it’s not something that they trained you to do in college or med school. But, after taking dozens of psychology classes, if I didn’t know how to talk to people then I would fail as a psychology major, right?

So I ate delicious food, drank fancy sake cocktails, and talked to Sarah’s snobby friends. After only an hour I knew that two of the couples were cheating on eachother, and that Sarah was sleeping with at least three of her friends husbands/lovers. Most of them had killer insecurity issues, and one of them even had an oedipus complex, constantly talking about his horrible step father and angel mother. I felt like I was doing group therapy at Arkham. Not that I let this bring me down.

You see, everyone has issues and baggage from their lives. No matter if they have had great parents and a rich upbringing, everyone walks away with issues. No one is perfect, few are “normal”, and most adults are extremely childish. Gotham was a city filled with people wanting to become what they always dreamed they would be. So even though the crime rate is outrageous and we have giant destructive monster battles every few years, thousands of people came to Gotham city every year to try their stake at fame and fortune.

It is any wonder I became a psychiatrist? 

“Let’s go to Treble!” Sarah yelled over the table so everyone could hear her, her friends cheered. She was ready to move on to dancing if she wanted to go there, Treble had the best dance floors in town. So we all paid our bills and headed over there. 

I liked this club, because it had a dance floor for all types. The first one when you walk in is the usual club scene with colored lights, fog machine and shitty DJ. The second floor was a disco theme, which was a lot of fun. The third floor was a patio outside in the back for us old time dancers who loved swing, salsa and the foxtrot. It had rope lights and small romantic tables on the sides with candles and flowers.

Sarah liked the club floor, some of her friends liked the disco, I was the only one who went outside. As I approached, I saw several men stop and stare at me. I knew I had my pick tonight. I chose a tall dark haired man who was obviously had more exotic blood than the average Gotham citizen. I liked that.

He took my hand and kissed it, begging me softly to dance with him. I accepted. Then, while knowing he was watching I bent down and grasped a small gold zipper on the side of my dress and pulled it up to become a leg freeing slit on the side of my very tight dress. I was now able to do the salsa like I wanted. I told him so.

The wolfish smile it brought to his face was what I had wanted to see all night and my body began to warm up as he pulled mine to his. His hand burning hot on the small of my back while we danced. Which we did for a while. After three sets he asked me if I would like a drink and I accepted again. I ordered a vodka cranberry.

I was almost done with it when Sarah came out to get me. “Harleen! Harleen! There you are!” She pranced up to me and completely ignored my tall dark companion. “I am ready to move out of here. How about the Zoo?”

That was an african jungle themed bar nearby, another one of my favorites. I nodded. Even while I didn’t really want to leave, I figured that this night was more about her than me so I let her drag me away. My dancing partner was quite disappointed and he made sure to kiss my cheek and slide me his number before she could drag me away.

While sipping a giant pina colada at our new destination, I noticed someone familiar. I realized that I had seen him at Gonzie’s and at Treble, and now he was sitting here at the Zoo. We were being followed. I had a feeling though, that it must just be me. I talked and chatted with Sarah and her friends for a while more. I kept our follower in the corner of my eye, it only took a little while to realize that he was using his phone to take picture of us, and me.

It was almost one in the morning now, and while I knew that Sarah would stay up most of the night I couldn’t relax anymore when I knew I was being watched and followed. So I feigned being tired and apologized and said goodnight to Sarah. She hugged me a dozen times and let me go.

I called a cab and went home. After locking my door I realized that I really had been tired. I stripped out of my dress and jewelry and passed out in my bed.

Sunday morning I took slow and easy, and didn’t leave my house at all.

\--- --- --- 

Monday morning I got to work, and only remembering my auspicious new patient when I stepped into my tiny office and saw the file boxes on my desk. I had meant to read the rest of his files over the weekend, but I was suddenly glad I hadn’t. My mind flashed to my gun at home and wished I had it here, which was ridiculous of course, I wasn’t allowed to have a gun in the hospital. Even though the new security detail did.

I read a little more of his files before walking down the long halls to the other side of the building where his cell was in high security and padded room section of Arkham. This time it was Robert, our oldest security guard who was standing in front of the Joker’s cell.

“Robby! Hey Robby! Robby! Robby! Hey! When is my lady gonna see me again? What kinda hospital is this?” The Joker was yelling through his cell again. I wondered how long he could keep up his energy levels. 

Upon seeing me Robert turned and opened the window slider to look in on the Joker, “She’s here, now shut the fuck up!” He said to my patient. I couldn’t blame him one bit. He slid the window cover closed again and grabbed his walkie talkie, requesting the usual detail for the move of the Joker to the interrogation room.

“Robert?” I asked him politely. “Has anyone else seen him since Friday?” Robert nodded, “The Mayor came by, Lisbon with another man, and.... Him.” At first I wasn’t sure who he meant, but of course I knew. Gotham City’s notorious hero Batman, who was the eternal dance partner of the Joker. The dark hero and the silly villain who have battled for decades here, every citizen grew up watching them on the news, avoiding being killed in the crossfire. Gotham was their territory, their city, their hill to be King over. The King of Darkness and the King of Crime. Order and Chaos.

The team arrived and they went into the room to chain him up so they could take him out. I did what I had done before and waited patiently by the wall while they did. As they picked him up to bring him out I began walking down the hall ahead of them. I wanted to show the Joker that I wasn’t afraid of him this time. That his threats didn’t scare me.

The interrogation room was in the middle of the building, it was also the same room used for the electro shock therapy treatments. Now that I think about it, it’s appropriate for the Joker’s sessions.

I could hear his muffled cackling behind me, they must have gagged him.

“Hey Puddin’! I love that ass!” I could hear shuffling, then his muffled talking for a moment.

When I stepped into the interrogation room there was just the one lightbulb above the table on.That was just creepy, so I switched all the lights in the room on. It was still like being on the set of a horror film and I was about to interview the killer. 

I sat down and put my notebook, pens and thermos on the table. I waited patiently while the guards chained him down and got him sitting in the metal chair. I let the guards leave, and Robert gave me the panic button.

When we were alone I cocked an eyebrow at him and let my native Brooklyn accent out. “Hello Mista Jay.” He gave me a genuine smile. It made my heart flutter to see it. How often do other people?

Then he frowned, “You kept me waiting too long Doc.” He was obviously mad at me.

“ I had th’ weekend off.” I said sassily.

His face darkened and he looked away, then back at me his eyes were burning mad. I absorbed his anger, I didn’t reject it or ignore it. I accepted it. Even made a mental note to add another session day per week.

His mood changed to Lust in a flash. “You looked really hott hott hott hott in that little red dress of yours!.” He cackled at his own joke. I had given myself away for a moment as I made the connection. My face showing shock and fear. I got control of myself though, and kept my face serious. “So you sent that creep to follow me the other night.” He frowned. “He was supposed to be subtle, I will have to let him know he disappointed me.’ There was cold murder in his eyes.

“I could tell on you, you know? That you had me threatened, followed and photographed.”

The Joker rolled his eyes. “No you won’t.” I raised and eye brow again. “Why not?”  
“Cuz you want to stay pretty, doll.” I shook my head. “I don’t care about my looks.” His head stopped bobbing side to side like was his habit to do. He was analyzing me, thinking of new angles, or new threats. 

“Who are you?” He asked me softly.

“I am Doctor Harleen Quinnzel.” He was quite calm now. “You can dance.” He said it as a fact, but I still answered as if it was a question. “Yes.”He blinked and smirked at me. “But can you sing?” I nodded. “Sing for me.”

“If I sing for you, will you do something for me?” He nodded.

“Okay, how about this.”  
I sang an old romantic song that I loved to hear on the radio.

“If I could make a wish  
I think I’d pass  
Can’t think of anything I need  
No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound  
Nothing to eat, no books to read.

Making love to you  
has left me peaceful warm and tired.  
What more could I ask  
There’s nothing left to be desired

Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak  
So sleep silent angel go to sleep

Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe  
and to love you  
All I need is the air that I breathe, yes to love you. All I need is the air that I breathe...”

I left off there.

He had closed his eyes and listened to me. No one had ever enjoyed my singing like this. He opened his eyes and looked at me strangely, “You are a sweet little angel aren’t chya Puddin’?”

He smiled maliciously, “I’d like to hear you scream for me.”

He shot his hand out and grasped the fingers of my left hand like iron. I had gotten too comfortable and let my hand get within his range. I yanked my arm back and only gave him the tiniest whimper as I ripped my fingers out of his. I stood up which put me well out of his reach, I felt a coldness run through me. “Don’t touch me again.”

He gave me a cute smile, satisfied with himself. “Oh darlin’, I am gonna touch you, and hurt you soon, I promise.”

“You like hurting people.”

He nodded happily. “Oh yes.”

“Why?”

He began to bob his head around again. “Pain releases us, from everything else.” I nodded, I understood a little.

“Why that song Doc?”

“Hmm? Oh, because it’s so romantic, I wish I could love someone like that. That all I would need is him, nothing else.” He sneered at me, “Why would you want that?” 

I smiled at him. “Well, maybe love could be my pain Mista Jay, and release me.”

“From what?”

“From.... this life.”

We were quiet for a moment, just looking at each other. He was calm, and there were no smiles. Just him.

“I could be your man.”

I smiled at him this time. “You don’t want to love me though, you want to hurt me.”

His eyes zeroed in on mine. “Didn’t you just say, it could be the same?”

I sat back down at the table.  
“You are my patient Mista Jay, I am not here to fall in love with yuh. Especially when you are tryin’ to kill me.”

He leaned back in his chair in a huff. “I’m not gonna kill yuh.”

“Then why have your guy threaten me?”

He frowned. “Cuz I have to get out of here Puddin’ And I will, I will get out very soon, and when I do I am going to kill the Bat. So don’t disappoint me Puddin’, don’t make me kill you too. I would rather have fun with you first. Fun, fun fun!”

He laughed at me again. He painted a vivid picture of the future he saw.

I knew I should have been frightened by this, but instead that electric feeling ran down my spine again.

“You know it doesn’t really matter what I write in the reports, you already have Lisbon in your pocket.” I stood up again, I had a feeling if I kept talking to him it would go in circles from here. I didn’t feel the need to push him and make him mad, not when I seemed to have gotten on his good side today. One more thing though.

“I did what you asked and sang for you, so on Wednesday I am going to ask you to do something for me. If you refuse, and you can, then I won’t do any more little favors for you. Not if you won’t share with me.”

He nodded. “Sure Puddin’ anything for you.”

I gave him a warm smile, he was being pretty cooperative today.

Walking out of the room and back to my office I felt my heart beat fast again. I had an adrenaline rush as if I had just won a battle or something. I felt exhilarated when I met with him. I sat down at my desk and closed the curtain again.

I reached under my skirt and pressed my fingers to my lacy panties. They were soaked. I pressed on my clit and squeezed my thighs, it sent another rush through me. I was utterly turned on.

I took my hand out from under my skirt and sighed. This was no place to take care of those urges, and it was highly inappropriate to react to a patient like this.

So I just wrote my report of his session and prepared paperwork on him and my other patients. I didn’t mention that he had touched me or threatened me. I didn’t include the threats and being followed. I know it was crazy, but I didn’t feel like I was in any real danger, I felt that he really liked me in some fucked up way. 

I guess, it could be more, that I really like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I apologize for the rough POV changes, I swear I get better at it. ^.^*
> 
> Second, I want to disclaim any ownership for that song. It was written and owned by The Hollies - Air That I breathe.


	4. The Break In

Ch 4. The Break In 

 

Wednesday was going to be a long day for me, since I added Mr. J to my sessions list along with Henry and Gilda. It was going to be a nine hour day for me for sure, but I felt that he needed a little more attention than just twice a week like on my other patients.

 

Tuesday night, I am up late and home alone. Like every night.

 

I sighed and paused my movie. Sitting up I uncorked my wine bottle and poured myself another glass. I liked to watch older movies with a glass of wine and some crispy cookies to nibble on. I took a big sip of my sweet pink moscato, then I pulled up the hem of my night gown.

 

I set my glass down and unpaused my movie even though I had decided I wasn’t going to pay much attention from now on. Instead I hooked my thumbs through my panties and slid them down my long legs and tossed them on the floor. Leaned back on the couch and spread my legs wide, one over the back of the couch and one foot planted on the floor.

 

I ran my fingers down and into my slit, pumping in and out a few times until I felt a rush of wetness begin. I brought my middle finger to my clit and began with tiny circles and crosses over it. Closing my eyes, I brought up the image of him in my mind.

 

He was very attractive in my opinion, the green hair, tattoos, his voice. I dipped my fingers back into my slick pussy as I remembered his saying he loved my ass when I walked. 

 

I know he is a womanizer, has probably slept with dozens and dozens of women. But it feels good to be so openly wanted. Even if he is lying to butter me up, it’s working. I am so wet, I haven’t been like this for years. I work myself with two fingers, roughly jamming them inside me, trying to imagine they are his fingers.

 

If he hadn’t been chained down during our session, what would he have done to me? Drag me over the table, rip my clothes off, bite me? I gasped as my pleasure lifted and I went back to my clit, my fingers moving swiftly. I panted.

 

Rickety Click.

 

My eyes darted towards my door knob, I saw it jiggle. Someone is trying to break into my apartment!

 

I darted off the couch and ran into the bedroom to grab my gun. I was glad that I had left it loaded in the hostler, I gripped it and moved slowly out of the bedroom. The knob is jiggling like crazy now. Someone is having a hard time getting it open and I thanked myself silently for splurging on a really good deadbolt.

 

I hurried over to the kitchen which put me left side of the door which opened inward, so that I was not his first view into the room. It gave me a better advantage on him, plus I was within reach of my kitchen knives if I couldn’t get him with the gun.

 

The door finally gave way and it opened a crack, then very slowly opened more. A large burly man walked in and looked around. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” I yelled at him with the barrel pointed directly at his chest. He spotted me and his eyes went big and his hands went up.

 

“Uh uh.... I’m uh... here to give you a message ma’am. I uh... thought you’d be asleeps by now.” He was a typical thug type, dark clothes, shaved head, not too smart.

 

“You could have knocked.” I said icily. It was one in the morning, no one with any courtesy at all would come over at this time. I knew the Joker must have sent him. I don’t know why. The man pulled out his phone, he suddenly snapped a picture of me. I was in my leopard print silk nightgown, legs spread and gun still pointed right at him, standing in my kitchen. It must be a crazy picture. He turned, ignoring me, and took pictures of my living room.

 

“He said, he wanted pictures ma’am, wanna see where you sleep.”

 

He walked over to the open door of my bedroom and took a few pictures in there too. I couldn’t believe this, some guy breaks into my home, ignores my gun pointed at him and takes pictures for his insane boss. What the fuck?

 

“That’s not a fucking message dude, get the fuck outa here before I shoot your ass out!” I yelled at him. He turned to me again, eyeing my gun. “Nice piece.”

 

I rolled my eyes. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have neighbors above and below me then I would have fired a warning shot at him. It pissed me off that he didn’t take me seriously.

 

“The boss, he says, don’t show up on Thursday doll. Yeah, that’s it.” Then he backed out of my apartment quietly.

 

I stood there with my gun in my hand, stunned at what just happened. Now there was a guy breaking into my home? This was too much! I walked back over to my door and pulled the locks on it, even though they hadn’t done a damn thing tonight. I shut off the Tv, put the wine bottle away and got ready for bed. I put my gun back in its holster at my head board and put a necklace I had that was made of tiny bells on the door knob of my room. It wouldn’t be much warning but better than nothing.

 

I laid down in bed and thought about the message. Don’t go to work Thursday, he was planning something bad to happen. I was definitely going to tell security tomorrow, and maybe a few other people.

 

When I closed my eyes and saw the Joker. He had sent a guy to my apartment to take pictures and warn me to avoid whatever the Joker’s plot is to break out. He was curious about me and also didn’t want me to get hurt. It was actually kind of sweet. He obviously liked me too, even if I am also his “captor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still really new to this site and find it a little awkward to use.


	5. The Long Wednesday

Ch. 5 The Long Wednesday

 

My day started with Henry at ten o’clock, he was having a bad day today because he didn’t sleep well. Harleen was sure he was having nightmares again. While that doesn’t sound good, it really was, nightmares are one way the mind begins coping emotionally.

 

He was playing tic tac toe with me today, I let him win twice, but took the third round for myself. “So Henry, do you ever wish you had brothers and sisters?” I knew he had two brothers, but I wanted him to think about it. 

 

“I have a brother! A big brother! I saw him when...” He looked out the window in surprise. “It was snowing...” I nodded. His brother Charles had visited in January, it’s now May. “Would you like to see him again?” Henry nodded while still staring out the window, but then turned his head towards me slowly. “Yes.” He looked at me directly for the first time since our session started. “I miss Charles, it’s been a long time.” For a moment he let go of the childish persona.

 

I nodded again. “I will call him and let him know you would like to see him, okay?” He smiled gently at me, “Thank you Harley.”

 

I smiled at him too. I knew that in Henry’s files it said he was was allowed occasional visits home to see family. He used to see his mother, but she died about two years ago. Henry wasn’t known to be violent, so he was allowed unsupervised visits.

 

“Maybe, if you are nice to Charles during his visit he might have you stay over for a weekend.”

 

Henry clapped happily. “Yeah! Charles’s house!” Five year old Henry was back.

 

I think spending time with his brother, an older better adjusted brother might help Henry feel like he could grow up a year or two with having to become a victim again. I wouldn’t expect miracles, just having a nice weekend with his family would be good for him. 

 

I had talked with his brother when he visited the last couple times. He had wanted Henry to come visit and meet his nephews and nieces, but Henry had still been accepting his mother’s death. I thought he has done well the last three months, and that he could be ready to get out of the hospital for awhile.

 

Our session ended with Henry giving me five hugs, I went back to my office and immediately called his brother. Who said that he would be delighted to see Henry and maybe have him over for a visit. That he had missed coming to see him because one of his daughters gotten into a car accident and was severely injured, they had been visiting the hospital and doing physical therapy with her for months. I said my condolences for her bad fortune and my gratitude that she was alive and well now. We talked for a half hour easy. Charles was a good man.

 

I took a lunch break and then went back to my office to read more of Joker’s file. I finished the first box which was his most recent stuff, he was a very busy guy. There were dozens and dozens of police reports in there, of crimes and murders he’s committed. Half of the murders were his own henchmen that had gotten in his way. I wondered how anyone would want to be employed by a crime lord, they must have known the risks. 

 

There were many reports that I recognized from the stories about him on the news. Certain foiled plots and bomb threats and battles with Batman. In a way it spelled out a very fascinating yet macabre story. The Joker was always making grand plots to take power and Batman always came in to ruin it. That had to be very frustrating for the Joker, that no matter how complicated the plan, or whatever weapons he used there was always Batman to ruin it. It was to the point that he made outrageous threats, it seemed, just to make Batman scurry to be there on time to save the people of Gotham. As if, The Joker was upping the game each time. Making each one a new challenge for the caped crusader. The ultimate game.

 

It reminded me of a poster one of my psychology teachers had on his wall. It was a quote by Albert Einstein, “Insanity, is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I thought about the many different meanings that had. Besides the obvious.

 

Like, politics. Like the Joker’s plans, like my sessions with patients, like watching the news on TV, like people having pets, like my father beating me.

 

People do the same things over and over and expecting something new to happen. Somethings are too mercurial to bend to their will, to break. Air, life, love, blood,fire, madness, doesn’t follow people's rules. It washes over people’s lives like waves on the beach.

 

The second box was the older archive about the beginning of the Joker. I planned on taking it home with me today. I frowned thinking about the Joker’s past, I remembered reading that he has been to Arkham several times in the last few decades. I looked through the first box of his recent escaped on the last 30 years. There were no files from Arkham, no spych. reports, no admission paperwork, no medical reports either. There was essential information missing, some one had gone through and had taken files before giving me these boxes. It was mostly just police reports, I hadn’t really thought about that before this moment. I wondered who had taken the files, people working for the Joker? The Police? Batman? The FBI? 

 

I shook my head. Alot of shady crap happened here at Arkham, now that I have been here for awhile I was starting to see that. Sighing, because that’s really all I could do about it, I looked over at my desk clock, it was one forty five.

 

My next session was Gilda at two o’clock. I opened my desk drawer and brought out two gifts I had gotten for her a few weeks ago. Some jump rope she could play with while we were in session and a fuzzy stuffed bunny rabbit she could keep.

 

When I met up with Gilda she was in the cafeteria, sitting with her friend Francis and playing cards. I think it was go fish. I asked her what she would like to do today and she gibbered something about flowers and sunshine. She nodded when I asked if she would like to go outside today.

 

Arkham Asylum has a lovely garden with a couple fountains and benches and a large green area of grass that we sometimes have the patients play games or do activities outside. It is a great spot to play jump rope with Gilda, I am having a lot of fun running around with her.

 

Even though she didn’t speak clearly, it wasn’t too hard to get along. I made faces at her, danced and played peek a boo behind trees. I hadn’t laughed this much in a long long time. Gilda was lying in the grass rolling around and giggling to herself still. I was sitting in the shade next to the jump ropes. A certain awareness of safety hazards is part of my job after all.

 

I brushed my hands on my jeans to get any dirt off of them before pulling my phone from my purse next to me. I pulled up an ebook I had started last last week, a romance of course. I looked up at Gilda who was still lying in the grass quietly. I read a few pages of my story, taking quick glances up at her every few minutes. I didn’t want to lose my patient, but I also needed a quick romance fix. What could I say, I am a single woman.

 

After a little while I got up and gathered the stuff and walked over to Gilda. She was sleeping in the grass with an arm flung over her eyes. I poked her and said her name softly. “Gilda, Gilda, wake up for me sweetie.” She woke with a start, her eyes wide and panicked, “I’m Sorry!” She looked around frantically and calmed down very quickly, seeing green grass and trees around her. She looked up at me with a smile, “Oh Harley Harley!” I smiled back at her, she rarely ever said my name, or any version of it at least. I was glad that she remembered today.

 

“It’s time to go inside Gilda.” She nodded and stood up slowly. “Fun grass trees sky day!” I nodded at her, “I did have a really fun time today Gilda, thank you for being so good. Maybe we can come outside again next week?” Gilda clapped for happiness. I walked her back to her room, when I opened the door she planted her feet though, shaking her head.

 

I had planned for this though. She frowned at me and shook her head, “Uh Uh, Uh uh, no grey alone.” She spied the jump rope in my hands, I really should have put it away. She yanked the jump rope out of my grip, I scrambled to grab what was left in my hand and we ended up playing tug of war. “NO! NO! Give!” She shouted at me, I was sure an orderly would be by very soon upon hearing the commotion. “Gilda! Gilda! I can’t give you the rope.” She flung her head around. I was the one being childish I realized, I stopped yanking on the rope and just held it with an iron grip. “Gilda, I have something even better for you than this. Would you like to see it?” She squinted her eyes at me, then slowly released the jump rope. Frowning, she didn’t expect anything good. I stuffed the rope in my bag and pulled out the bunny quickly. Her eyes lit up and she ripped the bunny from my fingers, “Bunny!” She hugged it and kissed it.

 

“That’s all for you Gilda. You were such a good girl today, you deserved something fuzzy.” She nodded, then looked up and down the hall, squinting her eyes suspiciously. She backed into her room and closed the door herself. I let her.

 

I walked away shaking my head. For all that she was mentally unsound and extremely traumatized, Gilda was pretty normal. I heard footfalls and Jed came around the corner of the hallway, “Is everything alright?” His eyes searching me all over and the hall behind me. “Oh yeah Jed, I just made a mistake, but luckily plan B covered my ass.” He raised a brow in question. “I took Gilda out today for some fun, I had jump ropes to play with, “ His eyes went wide, he knew that toys like that were forbidden for strangulation purposes. “She wanted to keep them, I knew she would of course, so I had a back up toy waiting for her, a super cute pink fuzzy bunny. Who could resist that huh?” Jed shook his head at me. Since his job was to prevent moments like that I knew he didn’t approve. But hey, if you didn’t have any excitement in your life, was it worth living?

 

“Doctor Quinnzel, no more jump ropes, you know how dangerous that could be.” I nodded. Not having any intention of getting rid of the ropes, but probably hiding them for six months. “Sure Jed you’re right. So, hows your Wednesday going?” I started walking down the hall towards the break room. I needed something to drink after being outside for awhile.

 

“Oh, Thomas decided to play with his pudding again, smeared it everywhere, and then gave me hugs. Ugh, had to get a new uniform, not really loving the pink.” I looked at him, sure enough his coveralls were pink, where they would normally be white or grey. I giggled at him. “Good color for you Jed.” I had to tease. He rolled his eyes. “All you need is ears and you could be Gilda’s big bunny Jed!” I laughed outright now, his uniform was nearly the same shade as the bunny I had just given Gilda. He growled at me, then started laughing himself. “Well, maybe all of us should wear pink suits, I bet the patients really would like it.”

 

We came up to the break room and went inside. Thanks to Dr. Lisbon we have a very luxurious employee lounge. There were large carpets on the linoleum floor, big comfy couches next to a wide flat screen TV. The other side of the room had a full kitchen and three vending machines for; coffee, junk food and cold lunches. I always imagined that if there was a riot and I had to barricade myself in somewhere, I could live inside the employee lounge for two weeks easy. There was even a bathroom with a shower.

 

I walked over to the cold lunch vending machine and grabbed some dollar bills from my purse. “So, doctor Quinnzel, how is it going with your new crazy ass patient?” I gave him a disapproving glare, he knew how I felt about calling patients that. Not that I could argue with his opinion. “Good. Actually, way better than I expected. He hasn’t exactly opened up to me, but I think he likes me.” Jed looked at me quizzically. “Likes you?”

 

My tuna sandwich dropped down to the opening for me to take, I fed another dollar into it for the pudding I also wanted. “Yeah, he seems to have a bit of a crush on me. Although I am not sure it’s a good thing.” Jed shook his head. “No I don’t think it’s good to have the worst crime lord in Gotham to have a crush on you Doctor. Maybe you should switch him out.”

 

I took my sandwich and pudding over to a table and sat down. He sat across from me. I shook my head at him. “I don’t think he would take rejection well Jed. Being a murderer after all.” Jed paled at the thought. “Ooooh, yeah.” I took a bite of my sandwich and chewed. “Lisbon really fucked me over handing him to me. I don’t know why he didn’t make an older and far more experienced doctor handle him.”

 

Jed looked at me with a haunted expression, and looked towards the doors of the lounge. “He fed you to the wolf, Doctor. Like he didn’t care if you got eaten. Interns are expendable right?” He shook his head.

 

“It seems weird to call me an intern right? I mean, I agreed to a five year stay and I have a salary. Why call it an internship? At a regular hospital that’s called residency.” Jed chuckled. “Because Doctor, so many leave in just a few weeks that if you can last here for more than a few years then you automatically get tenure.” I frowned at him. “What?” Jed leaned in close to me, making sure the one other person in the room didn’t hear him. He whispered, “If you can last here eight years you begin earning tenure.”

 

Harleen leaned back in her seat. “Oh, that’s an odd way to go about it.” Jed nodded. “It’s because so few doctor’s stay here longer than the paid internship and early tenure is almost necessary, only a handful of doctors have even been here that long.”I looked down at my sandwich, I felt like working here had a lot of perks. Great break room, flexible hours, many vacation days, etc. “Besides the obvious difficulty of dealing with mentally unstable patients, Why?”

 

He looked at me like I was missing the obvious. “Doctor Quinnzel, did you know that 35 doctors have died here in the last ten years? And that more people have died every time the Joker has been here?” It was the first time Jed had called him by his title. I could see the fear written in his face. I remembered the warning I had gotten last night and I thought that now was the time to tell Jed. I didn’t want anything to happen to him.

 

“Doctor, I am really worried that he will do something soon, and when he does, he is probably gonna hurt you, you know that right? This guy is really bad, I wish you heard the shit he says all day in his cell.”

 

I nodded. “I know. I have been going through his files. A Lot of them are missing, but I do know that he hasn’t ever stayed here more than a couple months. He breaks out, people die.” Jed nodded.I shrugged, “I know he is planning something Jed, even warned me yesterday,” I leaned into him this time to whisper, “not to come in tomorrow.”

 

Jed’s back went straight fast, pulling away from me, “What!”

 

The other orderly who was watching TV looked at us, but went back to watching some drama.

 

“I am gonna call in sick tomorrow Jed. I think you should too.”

 

He took a panicked breath. “You have to tell someone Doctor, you need to tell Robert.”

 

I nodded calmly. “I will, I planned to do that after eating.” I took another bite of my sandwich.

 

“How can you be so calm?”

 

I shrugged and chewed. “Mehbee cuz he threatens people al’th’time.”

 

Jed stood up from his chair. “You need to take this seriously Harleen. If you don’t tell Robert today, then I will.” He stomped out of the lounge without even saying good bye.

 

I finished eating my sandwich, grabbed a plastic spoon and took my chocolate pudding back to my office. I realized while walking down the hall that he had called me by my first name, something he hadn’t ever done in the two years I’ve known him.

 

I sat down in my wheelie chair and opened my pudding cup and took a bite. I loved chocolate pudding, I even liked that the Joker called me Puddin’, it was an endearment I could live with.

I looked at my cell phone and saw it was already four o’clock. Usually I was leaving right now, but I wanted a surprise session with my newest patient today. I had a feeling he would be really happy about it.

 

I thought I would talk to Robert about it. I looked up Robert’s number in our work phonebook. He was head of security so his work phone was listed there. It ringed once, “Hello?”

 

“Hi Robert, it’s Doctor Harleen Quinnzel.” 

 

“Oh yes, what could I do for you Doctor?”

 

“Are you with the Joker right now?”

 

“Yes.” He answered with an annoyed sigh.

 

“Oh okay, I wanted to know how he’s been today.”

 

I could here his footsteps in the hallway, it sounded like he was walking.

 

“Well, just as happy as usual I guess, with all his crazy laughing and threats.”

 

“Alight, and has he had any visitors since Monday.”

 

“Yes ma’am, Lisbon has been here twice, once with a guy. And He was here too, I had to pull him off of beating the guy’s face. So be warned, your patient got a little of what’s coming to him.”

 

I took a bite of pudding, letting Robert sit with a silence for a moment. I was supposed to have control on who gets to see my patients, and sign for visitations. But I guess, Lisbon has gone right over my head, Robert couldn’t argue with his own employer. 

 

“Why is security letting Batman into this hospital?” Robert paused, I took another bite waiting for an answer from the head of security.

 

“Doctor,” sigh, “It’s him, you know, he can have whatever he wants. Or he will just take it anyway, and I don’t need Batman breaking into my hospital.”

 

“I guess so.” I said non-committedly. “When was he here?”

 

“Last night. I wasn’t on post then.”

 

“Okay. I will be over there in a few minutes. Would you please tell my patient I will be dropping by?”

 

“Oh, and Robert?”

 

“Yes doctor?”

 

“He warned me, that, something is going to happen tomorrow. Told me not to show up here tomorrow for work. I thought you’d want to know he’s plannin’ somethin’.”

 

“Good to know.” Then he hung up.

I took another bite of my pudding and pondered the Joker. He had only been here a week and had already planned a break out. He must be very resourceful, but of course he was. Everyone in Gotham knew that he ran the black market gun trade in Gotham. That he was super rich and often showed up with giant arsenals and planes, helicopters, inventive warfare “toys” as he called them.

 

I finished my pudding cup and threw it away in my tiny desk trash can. I grabbed my water bottle from my purse and took a big swig. Then set an alarm on my phone to go off tomorrow morning so I could call into work sick. I needed to see him before he left.

 

I got up and left my office, without my notebook or coffee today. It was just me in my jeans, blue blouse, and lab coat going to visit my infamous patient. I hummed while walking through the halls, a couple of other doctor’s I passed gave me strange looks. I ignored them, it’s not a crime to hum around here after all.

 

I saw Robert and three other guys standing by my patient’s door when I got there.

 

“He says he would like to see you. In there.”

 

That was interesting. “Alright, is that okay?” Robert shrugged, “his jacket doesn’t come off. And the viewing window stays open.” I nodded. For being head of security Robert was both thorough but also a failure. Doctor’s didn’t usually go into their patient’s room alone. I didn’t say that to him though.

 

Robert opened the door and went into the room ahead of me, he gripped the Joker’s straightjacket making sure it was on correctly. The Joker was giggling happily, watching me. “Go away Robert, let me have my date with the Doc here.” He winked at me.

 

Incredibly, I blushed. He considered this a date? Talking in his room?

 

I had been looking at his face, which half of was purple and green with bruises, it really matched his coloring. I wonder if he thought that was funny too.

 

Robert rolled his eyes and stood up, leaving me alone with my patient inside the padded room. The Joker was just sitting on the floor criss cross staring up at me. I looked around the room, it was one of our large sized rooms, and it had a small window with bars on the outside. I walked over and looked out at his view, it showed the gardens and the grassy area I had been with Gilda.

 

“I saw you, playing around today.” He giggled. “Will you play peek a boo with me Doc?”

 

I smiled at him doubtingly, “You really want to play peek a boo with me?”

 

He gave me another one of his leers, “Oh yes.” I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed at me again. He flirted with me like he was harmless, then sent employees to threaten me. I got serious right there. “I told you I didn’t like you using your people to following me, but you didn’t respect my wishes.” I showed him the anger in my eyes, and not one drop of fear.

 

“This has to stop.” I gave him a firm voice. “Your goon broke into my place last night, and it better not happen again. Are you gonna have ‘em hurt me? What if I have to shoot one of ‘em? I don’t want you threatening me anymore, I’m sick of it.”

 

He gave me a super wide cheshire grin. “I like your place.”

 

He had already gotten those photos? How is it that he can do whatever he wants here? He isn’t really locked up, Lisbon is giving him access to his crime network. He is just not allowed to leave the room, but he was still doing whatever he wanted. Like sending goons after me.

 

There were other holes in security too I needed to know about.

 

“So, Batman came here?” His face darkened and his eyes burned. “They just let him in! He walked right in and used me for a punching bag! When I get out I am gonna have something special for him! He does whatever he wants and calls himself a hero! Fucking Bullshit.”

 

I didn’t point out that Batman often saved Joker’s victims, or tried to. That the Joker kills many more people, actually Batman never kills people, but he does beat them. I have heard about that.

 

I sat down on the floor facing him, criss crossed legs like him too. The padded floor was pretty nice.

 

“Why did he come here?”

 

“He wanted me to tell him.”

 

“Tell him what?”

 

“My Plan, my plan to...........” He looked up at me and squinted his eyes. “No, no, I’m not gonna tell you nothin’.”

 

“About your plans to break out?”

 

He smirked, “Don’t be here tomorrow doll, it’s gonna get ugly for you. But a symphony for me!” He cackled happily, imagining his escape tomorrow.

 

“Hmmm, okay, I won’t be here then. What are you going to do?”

 

“I am gonna get this ugly jacket off,” he struggles in it as if it’s uncomfortable. I imagine it is, but I wouldn’t take it off of him for a million dollars. “And get one of my lovely new suits I ordered, my boy’s are gonna bring it for me.”

 

I nodded, just listening. He looked away at the wall for a moment, zoning out. 

 

“Hey Puddin’?”

 

“Yes Mista Jay?”

 

“Would you do me a favor?” I shook my head, “No, you still owe me a favor, I can’t have a tab for you.” He began shaking his head at me. “No! No no no, I gave you that already.”

 

“What?” I said seriously. He looked at me impatiently. “The warning, I gave you the warnin’ doll, that’s a big favor from me.”

 

I had told him that I would ask him for something. But he took my “power” by shaping my favor before I had a chance to ask. The warning, it wasn’t something I could discredit as a favor, it was actually a huge favor. He didn’t have to warn me at all, could have come to personally and brutally murder me if he wanted. But he didn’t, he told me to get out of the way of fire instead. I just don’t appreciate the unorthodox way he had gave me that warning.

 

I really should be grateful though.

 

“Fine, that makes us even I guess. Even though, that warning was a guy who broke into my place and took pictures for you.” I said this sarcastically but he ignored it. Crazy people tended to ignore sarcasm.

 

“I like you with a gun in your hands Puddin’, it suits you.” I shook my head now, disagreeing with him. Even though I thought the same thing when I had posed in front of the mirror with my pistol this morning. I looked pretty sexy actually. I felt powerful.

 

“I want a favor.” He reminded me. I rolled my eyes at him. “What is it?”

 

“I want a machine gun.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “There is no way I would give you a gun even if I had one, let alone get one for you.” He gave me puppy dog eyes and pouted his lips, it was actually pretty adorable. And totally ridiculous he would think pouting would work on me. “Please?”

 

I shook my head. He shrugged, “worth a try.”

 

I stood up. He looked worried. “Wait, my favor!” I gave him a look that told him I wasn’t having it.

 

“I will... give you a diamond ring!” I shook my head, his face fell. “You can’t bribe me Mista Jay.” He looked down. I turned away from him. He pleaded quietly, “I can, I can be your man, only yours doll.” I turned back at him and blinked. He was offering fidelity?

 

“I’m not your girlfriend Mista Jay, I’m your doctuh.”

 

He looked up at me with his cute look again and just a little pouty. “Why can’t you be both?”

 

“I can’t.” I rolled my eyes at him again. It had to be a lie, there was no way the infamous murderer was really falling for me. He probably just wanted to get in my pants before he left here.

 

“We can work out the details of what I get later. What is it that you want so bad?”

 

He gave me a lustful expression and stared at my crotch which was eye level for him with me standing. “I want your panties doll, the ones you are wearing.”

 

“What!” I yelled. The door cracked open and Robert looked in. “Everything okay?”

 

He looked at the Joker on the floor who hadn’t moved this whole time.

I frowned at him and Robert. “Yeah.”

Robert closed the door again.

 

“If you stand on the other side of the door then he can’t see you.”

 

I shook my head. “You’re a dirty creep you know, I don’t know why I am even considering this.” 

Giving him my panties wasn’t all that big a deal to me, but I felt like he wanted more from me without really giving me anything at all. Especially not what I told him I wanted. So I needed him to accept my boundaries. Maybe I could use this to do it. 

 

“I will only give them to you if you promise not to send any more goons at me.”

 

He smiled brilliantly and nodded. “Can I smell yuh? Please, please, please pretty please?” I cringed, this wasn’t something I expected. His face was hungry and intense as he stared a hole in my pants.

 

He got onto his knees and shuffled over to me, I backed away, but hit the padded wall behind me. My heart started to race, I hoped he wasn’t going to bite me. That electric feeling went down my spine so fast it caught me by surprise and I whimpered.

 

He locked eyes with me when he heard the sound, his face only a foot away from my body.

 

“Let me see them.” He demanded, his voice gravelly. I did what he asked, I just unzipped my jeans and pulled them apart so he could see my red satin thong. He leaned in and shoved his face right into my crotch and breathed in strongly.

 

I gasped. No one had ever done something like that to me before.

 

“Mmmm! Mhmmm! Mmm!” You smell so good doll, I can’t resist!” He suddenly jumped forward and used his teeth to grasp and rip my panties right off my body. The back snapped and he pulled away from me with the remains in his teeth.

 

I didn’t know that was physically possible. But he just did it.

 

I looked over to see the door opening again. I yanked my zipper up quickly, I looked back at the Joker and he was sitting there smiling at me, nothing red in sight. I blinked at Robert’s face, he looked at the Joker, at me, and back again.

 

“What?” I said kinda sassy.

 

He just closes the door again. I don’t know if he had seen what happened. I wasn’t even sure I cared if he did. 

 

“Okay, no more goons, loons in your face.” He agreed with words.

 

The Joker was just sitting there on the floor happy as a clam with a smile on his face. 

 

“I can’t wait to eat you up!” He said with a purr in his voice and a snap of his teeth.

 

That electric shiver ran down my spine again and I finally realized what the feeling really was, not fear, sex. He turned me on. His was danger, madness, freedom, sex, he was so taboo. I wanted it. He was a window into a world I had peaked in but never entered.

 

I turned back to him and stepped up to his sitting form.

 

I touched him for the first time, running my fingers over his hair and down his neck. His blue eyes were riveted on me and had an open mouth grin like he wanted to say something.

 

“You really want to be my Puddin’?” I asked, without really thinking of why.

 

I felt my chest tighten and my muscles jump a little. I was getting a rush from the situation. “Oh yes, doll, oh yes yes yes yes.” He focused in on my crotch that was right in front of his face. He shoved his mouth to my jeans and breathed me in. I felt his hot breathe gush through the material between us. I moaned for him. He opened his mouth and set his teeth against my crotch and bit down hard enough I could feel teeth from my jeans. I moaned louder when his teeth squeezed my clit gently.

 

My hands gripped his shoulders, I dug my nails into his flesh knowing he didn’t mind a bit of pain. He started growling into me and I gasped. After a moment he stopped.

 

He leaned away to look at me again. “I want to know though, will you be my Harley? Only my Harley? To be yours, you must be mine.” He watched me fondly.

 

Harleen smiled and whispered. “I promise.” He purred happily for me. I dropped to my knees.

 

I couldn’t help myself, I kissed him. He moaned into my mouth, and pressed his body against mine. It was all he could do with the straight jacket on. So I used my hands, moving them over his shoulders, neck, and head. I ghosted my fingertips along his skin and he broke out in goosebumps. He bit my lip and I moaned, then I bit his.

 

We took a moment to breathe and I came to my senses. “I can’t be doing this.”

 

I stood up, He looked like his world shattered.

 

I leaned down and kissed him again, twice for good measure. “We are being watched, I can’t risk.... Someone seeing this.” His face relaxed a little. “You know where I live.” He nodded, his eyes following me as I stood up again.

 

“Come with me.”

 

I shook my head. I wasn’t giving up my whole life to be his toy for a week or month. I also knew he was dangerous. Even if I wanted to jump his bones so bad I couldn’t breath right now. He might also kill me without a drop of remorse.

 

“I’m stayin’ here. I know you are leaving tomorrow, I had to say goodbye, I just had to know what it was like to... to kiss you.” Running my fingertips along his smooth jaw line, whispering to him, “I’ll miss yuh puddin’.”

 

Forcing myself to turn away I knocked on the door and Robert let me out. I didn’t look at the guards, I didn’t care what they thought. I went back to my office and picked up my stuff and left Arkham.

 

When I got home I starting thinking a lot. Wondering about what the Joker had planned, for his break out , for Batman, for me. Was this it? Was that the last I will ever see of him? A moment of panic rushed through me, I felt like I hadn’t gotten what I needed from him yet. I took a few deep breathes to calm myself. I had a feeling though, that this was just the beginning of my time with him. That a whole new chapter of my life has opened up.

 

I laughed.

 

I am not sure why, but a brilliant hot white feeling rushed through me. An excitement, I couldn’t fathom why, but I felt like big things were coming my way. Adventures were rushing towards me, I just needed to be patient while they got coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know how you like it, a kudo or review mean a lot to me. Thank you for reading and I hope you have enjoyed it so far. :3


	6. The Breakout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harleen begins her decent into obsession. It always starts innocently enough right?

Ch. 6 The Break Out

 

My alarm went off at six o’clock in the morning, I reached over and grabbed my cell phone. It ringed, I called the front desk so I expected Judy to answer.

 

“Hello Ms. Quinnzel” Judy’s voice buzzed through the phone, her nasally voice instantly irritated me. She left the Doctor part off, I didn’t go to fucking med school so I could be called Ms.

 

“Hi Judy, listen, I am not feelin’ too good today, I’m gonna stay home. Tell Dr. Franks to take Henrietta’s session today, I know she likes him alright.” Judy made a disagreeable “Umph” sound, like she expected me to do something like call hooky for the day. Something I had never done once in the two years she has known me in Arkham. I wasn’t surprised that she would feel that way though, there are many middle aged women who think the worst in people for no founded reason other than their own bad choices in life. 

 

Why would a psychiatric hospital hire someone like her for our front desk is beyond me. She is the exact kind of judgemental, negative, unfriendly sort of person we want to keep away from emotionally vulnerable people like our patients.

 

There was a small part of me that said, “I hope she gets shot in the Joker’s break out.” The thought made me smile. “Okay, I will let Doctor Franks know that, hopefully he’s not too busy.” She was implying that I have now burdened him with my irresponsibility. I wish I could reach through the phone and punch her in the face. “Okay!” I said in an overly friendly voice, “Hope you have a nice day Judy!”

 

I hung up and laughed again. I had intended to go back to sleep, but the idea that awful Judy might just get a bullet in her today made me feel pretty awake. Cravings for coffee and doughnuts came over me, and since I was up so early I could indulge myself. I knew it was still freezing on May morning in Gotham so I put on some sweatpants and a huge soft purple sweater I had and went out and about. My closest coffee shop, and a doughnut shop that was about half a mile away. There were lots of people going to work or milling out on this particular Thursday morning. I walked around, sipping my coffee and enjoying the sunshine, and stopped at a park bench to eat.

 

I ate my doughnut with reverence, they weren’t something I allowed myself to have very often. It wasn’t easy keeping a trim waistline with delicious food like doughnuts in the world. But who cares? I just happened to be fortunate enough to not get bombed and shot up today.

Instead of my body bleeding on that linoleum floor in Arkham, I am sitting in the local park drinking fresh coffee and eating doughnuts. Life was good. I am happy for a small precious moment in my life. I savored it like my coffee and doughnut.

 

I am alive.

 

I watched the birds and squirrels, the families that came to the park. It amused me that in the morning this park was beautiful, and at night it was the local drug lords meeting room. I suddenly pictured myself here at night, buying drugs from some gangster. That is ridiculous though, I had access to tons of drugs at Arkham, I could even write my own prescription. Because rules at Arkham were a little lax, thanks to a corrupt Director.

 

I stood up and left the little park, I walked by a few shops and saw my reflection in the glass. My sweat pants and giant sweater made me look like a hobo. I didn’t want to go back home and change yet, it made me feel like I wanted to do some shopping.

 

Suddenly, I wanted to wear something that he would like.

 

What did he like?

 

I pulled out my smart phone and searched for the Joker and any paramours he might have had. There didn’t seem to be any steady relationships, or even casual lovers , which made me feel better about that kiss. The pictures of him from the media showed him going to dance clubs, auto shops, fine restaurants.

I studied his style. He liked, purple and black. He liked classic tuxedos and vintage style clothing with bold jewelry choices. Harleen thought it was really intriguing, his pictures made him seem shady and dangerous. 

 

The thrilling sensation went down her spine again. This man, this crime lord she is looking at on her phone, he kissed her yesterday. He ripped her panties off her body with just his teeth. He is the most wanted criminal in all of Gotham. Her hand went up to her heart unconsciously. She looked up from her phone and the the city streets surrounding her, the people and cars going by.

 

Gotham was filled with interesting and unique people, some even not quite human. If she wanted to get the Joker’s attention, then she needed to be.... Wild.

 

So Harleen went to the shopping mall nearby, after going home and getting her car first. She went into store looking for club dresses, stockings, sparkle, spikes. She had never bought an item of clothing specifically to please a man before. Today, she bought a new image. She spent nearly a thousand dollars, but she came out with a whole new wardrobe.

 

Because Harleen expected to see him again, just not at Arkham.

 

She went home with her many many bags of new clothes. She put on some music grabbed the bottle of vodka off her shelf and started taking swigs while dancing around her apartment. Harleen started trying on outfits from her new clothes, and refused to put any panties on. She was drunk before noon, and there was no one to judge or care. She knew her neighbors were definitely out working today, so her apartment was her own little world with no rules. Harleen allowed herself to feel her first taste of freedom, and she loved it.

 

It had been so long since she had cut loose that it felt like she would never get enough. Harleen had always been the driving force behind herself, in school, in gymnastics, then college and med school. For the last 15 years Harleen had been focused, disciplined, and controlled. While she knew from her psychology classes that someone like her was running away from her problems she also knew that she was setting herself up for a prestigious career, that it took dedication to get as far as she had. No matter what the snide remarks behind her back said.

 

When a slow song came on her radio Harleen flopped onto the couch, her mind was catching up with her. It had felt really good to dance silly again, she hadn’t realized that it had been so long. She looked around her apartment and realized something was missing. Pictures, she had no pictures of herself, her family or any friends. It was a red flag, her knew.

 

If someone did take a hard look at her, from a doctor’s point of view, she definitely needed therapy. Her parents and brother were awful awful people, she over loaded herself with classes as a distraction, the one healthy relationship she had ever had ended with his suicide. After that, instead of mourning, she had gotten a job. She had let go of her gymnastics career to go into criminal psychology, ended up being a psychiatrist to people who drool on themselves. She has everything she wanted, but she wasn’t happy, it wasn’t what she... needed.

 

Harleen growled and pulled her hair, being a little drunk, made it too easy for the thoughts to rush in and overwhelm her. 

 

“What do I need?”

 

A flash of the Joker ran through her mind. Danger, excitement, sex. To break out of this carefully constructed life she had built for herself. That’s what she needed. A little fun.

 

She took a few deep calming breathes, told herself to move past self analyzation and just relax on her day off. She reached for the remote and pushed the On button. Before the screen fully loaded there was already sirens blaring from the Tv. It was the news, the announcer was speaking quickly. “-as you can see behind me, the building is on fire and there are people running everywhere.” The camera zoomed in behind the news man, showing people running around in the grass and the glow of fire around them in the distance. “As we predicted, the Joker wouldn’t stay in Arkham Asylum very long, it only took him one week to break out this time!” Harleen blinked at the screen, how did the reporter know more about the Joker’s history than she did? 

 

The announcer guy looked around a moment and then pushed aside the twisted metal mess that was the front gates to Arkham, the Joker’s men had obviously gone through there. The camera man dutifully followed behind as the reporter walked and talked into his microphone. “You can tell that the fire seemed to have started.... From the... ( panting)... North side of the building. Which is the side which houses the more dangerous patients here at Arkham. (panting)” Harleen rolled her eyes, this guy had only walked a couple hundred feet, he was really out of shape to be panting this hard. His breathing in the microphone was obnoxious. She watched the scene behind him as she saw people trying to put out the fire, and others leaving. A car rudely swerved around the reporter on a mad dash to leave the scene. The camera caught a glimpse into the car as it went by. It was Lisbon, she was sure.

 

The reporter kept walking up the hill towards Arkham, Harleen wondered why they didn’t use their news van to drive, it was nearly a half mile up. There was noise, the camera turned and you could see the fire engine on it’s way over, sirens blaring. They clipped the busted gates and the metal screeched as it was pushed aside. The reporter ran ahead of the camera man, waving his arms. The fire truck paused next to him and a man with a burly beard looked out the driver’s window.

 

“Can we get a ride?” The reporter called up at the fireman.

 

The fireman shook his head firmly. “No way Jose!” And stepped on the gas and the engine took off and up the hill at a breakneck pace.

 

The reporter walked up to the camera so that his face slowly zoomed in. He looked put out and “humphed”, when he got closer he spoke to the camera. “We will be back with more updates on this very soon!” The camera went dark and after a moment the news station kicked on. “That was Pierre La Frank with the Breaking News story of the day! Now-”

 

Harleen stood up and walked away from the Tv and went into her bedroom. She felt her heart flutter, she wanted to be there with the fire and sirens. She wanted to know who had been killed, who had escaped, who was lying on the floor dead. Imagining the Joker was speeding away in one of his fancy sports cars made Harleen feel lonely. The most exciting thing in her life was vanishing before her eyes.

 

She sat down on the toilet to do her business, her smartphone in her hand. She returned to the pages she looked at earlier to study the Joker. She checked out his usual places, and promised that she would go to every one of them in the next couple weeks. Maybe he would show up again. Harleen knew that eventually he would, because, while he never stayed in the same spot for long, he had his favorite places to do business. Which everyone in Gotham knew about.

 

That didn’t matter though, he was the second most powerful person in Gotham, he does almost anything he wants. 

 

Harleen laughed, his obsession with Batman was very much like a younger brother’s obsession to be his older brother’s equal. The fatal mix of jealousy, admiration and resentment that often destroyed relationships.

 

She wondered how Batman thought about the Joker’s obsession with him and their constant battles raging through Gotham. Harleen had put thought into this before, since she had grown up in Gotham, the Batman and Joker rivalry couldn’t be ignored. She wondered what constant fighting with criminals has done to Batman’s psyche. 

 

Why bother trying to be a single force for justice in a city chock full of corruption? Gotham is a lost cause. Batman should really try to go and save people somewhere else.

 

She finished in the bathroom, flushed and washed her hands. She looked into the mirror, facing the beautiful woman looking back at her. She had big dark rimmed glasses, yet no one ever called her a nerd. She looked smart, young, naive.

 

She turned away from the mirror and went back into the living room where the reporter was going on about Arkham again.

 

“That’s... 21 confirmed deaths here at Arkham. Things have quieted down now since the fire department put out the flames and medical emergency crews have showed up to take care of the wounded.” He was smiling as he said all this, which seemed very strange. The audience could see the still smoking remains of Arkham behind the reporter, with ambulances and firetrucks parked around it.

 

“What we still don’t know is how many criminals escaped the high security wing of the hospital, since it was the first to go up in flames. The fire crew is still looking through the debris. There could be potentially dozens of insane criminals back on the streets of Gotham!” The reporter seemed far too enthusiastic for the topic he is reporting on and Harleen found him to be quite a sadistic person. It made her laugh again.

 

That was Gotham in a nutshell. The people here were dark and corrupt, even the news reporters revel in the chaos of fire and brimstone eruptions. She imagined him with tiny horns and sharp teeth, it seemed right. 

 

Harleen got up and turned the Tv off. She went into her bathroom again, this time to start getting ready to go out. Today, she needed to pamper herself so she; shaved her legs and all those other places, she plucked her brows, she moisturized, set her hair up in curlers, she painted her toes and fingernails. She came out of her steamy bathroom feeling like a whole new woman.

 

Standing in front of the mirror she decided she really liked the way she looked in curlers. It reminded her of her mother before she began her heavy drinking, when she was nice. When she cooked a good dinner, read to her, danced with her. Harleen sighed, those days were long gone, and becoming an adult was a struggle.

 

She flicked her eyes away from her curlers and down to her gorgeous body, it glowed with all the lotion she had put on. She was sexy as hell even with the silly curlers, she suddenly thought that the Joker would like her like this. She took a picture on her phone. Then started to get dressed.

 

What should she wear? The black halter dress, the pink mini skirt? The red pumps, or gold stilettos? Fishnets, gold hoops, gold snake necklace, vinyl bodysuit. No, no, this was her first night out, she didn’t want to start off too flashy, that seemed desperate.

 

Harleen looked through her closet three times, then settled on a dress she had already had for a few years but she still loved it. A long midnight colored dress that clung to every curve perfectly and ended loose at her ankles. She paired it with her new gold stilettos and her gold snake necklace. Bold, but not totally out of the norm for Gotham fashion. It was classy as hell. 

 

She decided on going to one of the Joker’s favorite restaurants for dinner. She didn’t expect him to be there the same night he escaped from Arkham, but maybe, just maybe, she might catch a little attention. 

 

Later.

 

I parked in the back of the restaurant and walked around the front instead of getting valet. I glided up to the receptionist like a lady, and looked down my nose at her like a real one would. She smiled at me, ignoring the arrogant front I put on like an excellently trained staff member should. “Table for one.” She nodded curtly, “Yes ma’am, right this way please.” There was no delay.

 

I followed her through the tables to a nice seat that was in view of the bar and most of the restaurant. A good choice to show me off to the rest of the customers. Having a beautiful woman in full view could only help business.

 

There were many men who took second and third looks at me, some women too. I ordered a Manhattan, knowing that some of the best bartenders in town worked here. So I knew I would get a decent example of the whiskey cocktail. I didn’t have to wait long, the waiter brought it over quickly and quietly. It felt so nice to get upper class service. Not the grumpy diner waitresses I am used to. I didn’t go to nice places like this, especially not this one. 

 

Nightingale was the second fanciest restaurant in all of Gotham. I knew my dinner would cost me a pretty penny, but I wanted something nice for myself tonight. I ordered filet mignon and scallops that came with vegetables I couldn’t even pronounce. It was delicious and I ate every bite.

 

As I was perusing the dessert menu when there was a small commotion at the front. It was Bruce Wayne walking through the door, Gotham’s most wanted billionaire bachelor. My eyes went round, he was older than I expected, yet still handsome. I watched him enter and get placed a few tables over from me, sitting perpendicular to my line of site so I saw his left side. 

 

I wasn’t the only person in the room looking at him. He pretending not to notice though and looked over the menu. I was close enough that I could hear him talk to the waiter. “Javier, please ask chef Gizzelle to make me something delicious with seafood, please.” 

 

The waiter nodded nervously and nearly ran into the kitchen to talk to the chef about the special request. Obviously, Bruce Wayne frequented the restaurant often.

 

The waiter, Javier, came back to get my dessert choice, I handed him my card. I told him I would like the creme brulee. Of course I did, it was about the fanciest pudding you could make. It made me smile thinking that the Joker would call me pudding, it was a pretty adorable endearment as food names go.

 

“Hello there.” A gruff voice said surprisingly close to me. I looked up to see Bruce Wayne leaning over my table. His eyes showed curiosity, and exhaustion.

 

“Hello, Mr. Wayne.”

He smiled at me flirtatiously. “My reputation precedes me?”

 

I nodded, “Born and raised in Gotham, of course I know who you are.”

 

“Then I am at a disadvantage.”

 

He stuck his hand out for me to shake. I gave him mine and he shook it gently. 

 

“I am Doctor Harleen Quinnzel.”

 

He chuckled, delighted by me talking to him. “My my, and you are intelligent too?”

 

I smiled coyly at him. I hadn’t expected the top bachelor of Gotham to make a move on me tonight. I know I had wanted a little attention when I went out tonight but I got more than I bargained for. “Do you have plans tonight?” He asked me.

 

“No I don’t.”

 

“Could you do me the honor of being my date? I am going to meet some business partners after dinner.”

 

Just as he said that the waiter brought Bruce Wayne’s dinner out and put it at my table for him. He sat himself down without asking me if it was alright, he assumed that it would be since I was talking to him. 

 

He was very very confident and a little arrogant, sure of his place in the world. While it bugged me, I also had to respect it. I knew that these rich business types tended to party hard into the night, and even though I had work tomorrow, I could really use some partying to blow off steam.

 

And hopefully, get some blow.

 

“Sure, I’ll go with with you Mr. Wayne.”

 

He had been eating his dinner while I was thinking. It smelled delicious. It looked to be a white fish of some sort in a balsamic vinegar sauce, with black flakes that could possibly be truffles. I sat there watching him eat for a few minutes, just when I started to get ancy about where my dessert was Javier placed it infront of me. 

 

I leaned over and inhaled the scent of my dessert. The charred sugar on top and the creamy vanilla undertones. It smelled so good I was sure I would remember it for a long time. Taking my spoon I bashed the sugar crust all over the small dish and smashed the pieces into the creamy part. It looked like a mess, but tasted divine. I made little noises with every bite.

 

Forgetting my uninvited guest across from me.

 

Who happened to be staring. “You are really enjoying that aren’t you?”

 

I finished the spoonful in my mouth and slowly opened my eyes to look at him, “Mhmmmm.”

 

I gently scooped up another bite, enjoying every aspect of my creme brulee. 

 

Wishing I could share it with Mr. J, I imagined I would feed him a spoonful myself. That he would love it passionately like I do. Appreciating the finer things in life, like artisan level desserts.

 

“Well I am finished, ready to go?”

 

I looked down and saw there there was just one last bite of my dessert left. Suddenly, I didn’t want to go anywhere with him. I didn’t feel up to being arm candy for some playboy tonight. I put that last bite in my mouth and found my card the waiter had discretely placed by my side.

 

“I am sorry Mr. Wayne, I can’t be your trophy tonight. But I hope you have a nice time.”

 

I stood up and walked away without waiting for his answer.

 

There was no need for one.

 

He watched me walk out into the night.

 

I really just went home in my shitty car, but I felt wonderfully happy. I sat at a nice restaurant and had excellent service and delicious dessert. The attention of a rich and powerful man, and turned him down. I felt powerful and sexy and confident.

 

Going into my bedroom after I got home to my little apartment I picked up my gun and posed in front of my full length mirror. I really had an itch to shoot the damn thing. I wondered if one of his henchmen would come through my door tonight, maybe I would shoot him this time just to show the Joker I’m not a pansy.

 

I put the bells on my door knob before I fell asleep.

Dreaming of creme brulee, the Joker and shooting people all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have much more for you my lovely readers! Be patient, chapters are coming.
> 
> I want to disclaim any ownership of the name Nightingale or the other club/ place names I may use. I picked them randomly with no intention of a specific real world counter part.
> 
> I have been trying to be better (smoother) about the whole POV switching thing. What do you think? Am I improving?


	7. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harleen gets a little excitement in her life.

Ch. 7 The Next Day

 

I woke very well rested.

When I got to work Friday morning there were construction crews all over the grounds and, plastic covering the spot where the sliding glass front door used to be. After getting through plastic wall/door I looked at the reception area. The first thing I noticed was the bullet holes and burn marks all over the walls, then the damage to the chairs and décor. 

 

My heart jumped seeing all the damage, I wondered what had happened here. They must have come into the room guns blazing, smashing things, going wild. I sort of wished I could have gotten in on the action, that I could have taken a big ol’ sledge hammer to Judy’s stupid desk. Thinking of her, she was not behind the desk. Jed was behind the desk, facing away from me and talking on the phone.

 

I walked up to the side of the desk and within his view. When Jed spotted me his eyes went wide and he pulled the phone away just a little. I could hear the person on the other end yelling at him he blinked and looked at the phone like he had forgotten he had it in his hand. Then hung up.

 

“Doctor Quinnzel!” He rushed from around the desk and gave me a big hug. “I was so worried about you after what happened yesterday! I couldn’t find you anywhere! I called you last night and got no answer, I was so worried that he took you and killed you!”

 

She laughed at his emotional reaction, she hadn’t expected that when she came in today. “Oh Jed, I am fine, fine, I called in sick yesterday.” He pulled back and looked at her with an odd expression. “You, knew. Yeah! You told me-” Harleen put her finger to her lips quickly and her eyes darted around the hallways to see if anyone had heard. “Shhhh!” Jed’s face quickly became serious.

 

“I told Robert, Jed, I warned him on Wednesday what the Joker had said to me.”

 

Jed shook his head, like I had planned the break out. Which got me shaking my head, none of this was my fault. I did the right thing by warning the staff and looking after my own security.

 

“Jed, Jed, listen to me, I couldn’t stop him, no one could, so I stayed away from the danger, I protected myself. You can’t blame me for that.”

 

“You could have stopped him.”

 

“How? How! Was I supposed to stop the most infamous criminal in Gotham from breaking out?”

 

“You could have, could have..... Drugged him up or....”

 

“What? So his lackeys could pick him up and take him out without a fuss?”

 

Jed kept shaking his head. “I didn’t help him in any way Jed, I don’t fucking care if you believe me.” I turned and walked away from him. I wasn’t about to start a fight at work, and if he kept insisting I was wrong for some reason I was going to punch him in his face.

 

I cooled down in my office, then went to see how my patients were doing. I had five patients total, Henry, Gilda, Henrietta, Stephen and Omar. 

 

I decided to start with Henrietta because I had blown her off on Thursday. Henrietta was an African American woman, only a little younger than myself. She had gotten into a very serious car accident when she was younger that left her with severe brain damage. She did get quite violent sometimes and after she murdered a family pet they put her into Arkham.

 

Henrietta had good days and bad days, I had asked her to keep a diary to help her understand her emotional rhythm. She was nice enough to share her diary with me and we talk about how Henrietta thought about herself, her life, her disability. From what I understand of Henrietta’s past psychiatrists was that they were mostly men than focused on keeping her calm, believing that activity caused her outbursts. From what I have observed watching her when alone, just with me or in a group setting she is triggered. There seem to be a couple different triggers for her and I have yet to be able to broaching the subject without agitating her. She hasn’t answered about it much. Lately I have been focusing on collecting information about trigger events. But because of her brain damage her reaction can be delayed, so it needs careful monitoring.

 

I went to her cell but she wasn’t there, which meant she was probably in the lunchroom. I took a roundabout way over to the lunchroom and I passed the high security wing, since I was curious about the damage to more of the building.

 

There is a whole wall blasted out and cinderblock piled around from where it had landed and people moved it to bring in supplies. There was still blood splatter on the walls, but none on the floor, someone had started cleaning but hadn’t had the time to get it all. It was obvious many people had died here, probably guards. I stood still, looking at the destruction, imagining what happened. The Joker’s men blasted the wall and flooded in raining bullets and knives, freeing the man who would pay them for their murder and mayhem. Then they moved through Arkham and out the front door.

 

I moved on, down the halls and towards the lunchroom which had been untouched by the destruction. I found Henrietta there, trying to teach a patient called Bridgette to play patty cake, it didn’t seem to be going well but Henrietta didn’t look discouraged. She giggled at Bridgette’s mistakes and told her to keep trying. 

 

“Hello Henrietta!”

 

She looked over at me with a sunny smile and popped up from her chair. “Oh! Miss Harley!” She rushed over to hug me. “Miss Harley, so glad to see you!” I smiled, she was easy to get along with today. “It’s good to see you too Henrietta!” 

 

I sat down and had a nice conversation with her for over an hour. Then made my excuses and went to see my next patient Omar. He is a Pakistani man who became catatonic after his wife died, his family wasn’t able to care for him 24/7 so they put him in Arkham. Many of our patients have a similar story, that their families just weren’t equipped to care for someone with excessive needs. Very few patients at Arkham are criminals and violent like the Joker. 

 

As I predicted Omar was fine, lying on his memory foam mat on the floor of his room, I checked his charts and I had just missed one of the caretakers who had come in to bathe and change him. Being catatonic meant he didn’t get up to go to the bathroom, so we have diapers on him. Feeding tubes and eye drops were also required items for his care. I was lucky I didn’t do much of that stuff, I just checked him out, talked with him for a while and left.

 

Stephen was my last patient, his room was closer to the high security wing and I had to walk across half the facility to get back over to his room. When I got there, I immediately knew something was wrong. The door to his room was gone, and the door frame was twisted and ripped up partially. I slowly moved closer and peered into the room, no one. I went back down to a main hallway and grabbed the first caretaker I saw, “What happened to the patient in 503?”

 

The female caretaker just blinked at me. “Doctor Quinnzel, Stephen got hurt in the break out, he didn’t make it.” You would probably think I would feel remorse right? Because that’s what I showed the caretaker with my face. Inside though, I felt relief.

 

I had secretly hated my patient Stephen, I kept my feelings quiet and tried very hard to be unbiased during our sessions. Stephen, was a chronic sexual abuser, of children. After he had been arrested three times and done time in prison they eventually put him in Arkham for life. He obviously couldn’t be rehabilitated and wouldn’t stop breaking the law, so they put him in a hole where he would be away from children and watched closely.

 

While I hadn’t been a victim of sexual abuse as a child, I had gotten physically abused. That made it clear in my mind how awful it would have been to be one of his victims. It made it hard to listen to him talk about it, sometimes I even threw up after a session with him because it turned my stomach. What’s worse, is he didn’t see it as bad or abuse, he saw it as loving them.

 

The urge to puke came back and I swallowed it down. I wanted to actually eat lunch today so I had to stop thinking about Stephen and be glad that he is dead. He can’t hurt anyone ever again. I wish the Joker would kill every child abuser out there. Including my piece of shit repeat offender father who was in jail at this moment, where he belonged.

 

I don’t know who else got killed in the break out, I am sure some innocent people got hurt and it’s horrible. But I was thanking Mista Jay very much for taking out one more awful person in Gotham. I walked back to my office, I planned on starting a little paperwork before I went to lunch a little late.

 

I was going to handle Stephen’s paperwork after lunch. 

 

I decided to leave for my meal, I went to a Taqueria and sat in my car while I got grease all over the million napkins I put on my lap for that reason. I was thinking about the Joker again, wondering what he was doing right now. Wondering if he was thinking about me, I doubted it, why would the Joker give two shits about a psychiatrist lady he had for one week? He probably wouldn’t even remember me if he saw me again. Since he was known for extreme psychotic episodes, memory can get very fuzzy during and in between those times.

 

When I got back to Arkham, I finished the paperwork required for a death of a patient and called the appropriate people to inform. I also found out that Lisbon still hadn’t returned for work, the upper manager doctor’s were taking care of everything. I wasn’t surprised to hear that about Lisbon though, I knew he was dirty in more ways than just his stained white coat.

 

I left at three o’clock, it was early but most people weren’t paying any attention to me today. And I just felt like starting my weekend an hour early, who could blame me?

 

What was I going to do this weekend? There were more of the Joker’s hang out spots that I could go to. There was the clubs, his favorite was Gold Mine. I saw three pictures of him there online. I knew it was a really exclusive club, but it I dressed really nice I am sure they would let me in. Clubs were always looking for beautiful women to populate the dance floors in, that’s how they get men to come and spend money there. Men trying to buy those beautiful women too. I didn’t want to be bought though, I wanted to be chosen, by the right man.

 

I wasn’t really thinking things through. Just going with the flow, putting my wants into a plan. I wanted to see the Joker, and eventually he would return to his favorite spots. Patience was the key.

 

So when I got home I relaxed for awhile, checked emails, took a shower and made myself dinner. I was planning on going to Gold Mine tonight and was just waiting until it opened and got busy. It was around 9 o’clock when I got a knock at my door. I took my pan off the stove and turned the knob off and went into my bedroom to get my gun. My stomach clenched and I just knew it was something bad.

 

They pounded on the door harder, “Miss Quinnzel! We know you are home, this is the police, open up!”

 

I bit my lip, the police, were a bunch of wild cards here in Gotham. Some were nice, some were dirty and some were in the Joker’s pocket and did his subtle clean up work. I only had one third of a chance they were nice, and my door was nearly off it’s hinges from being hit so hard. The odds didn’t look good. But I had to remain calm and play dumb and innocent and cooperate. So I put my blue .45 in the small drawer of my coffee table, then walked over to the front door.

 

“I’m here officers.” I said through the door before opening it. 

 

I slowly unlocked and when the door finally cracked open they pushed it the rest of the way. Bumped me to the side and stepped into my apartment with eyes looking every where, like they expected to see someone else.

 

“Are you alone?”

 

“Yes, officers.”

 

Officer #1 had yelled through the door at me, he was mid-forties with a thick porn ‘stache and a scowl on his face. I could tell he was pathologically suspicious just from the way he squinted at me. “Why did it take you so long to answer?”

 

I rolled my eyes, “I was sittin’ on th’ pot okay?”

 

More squinting. The officer #2 was walking around my apartment and then into my bedroom. This was seriously disturbing my privacy, it pissed me off but I still tried to remain calm. I walked over to my couch and sat down right next to the drawer where my gun is.

 

“What can I do for yuh officers?”

 

He flopped down into my stuffed chair and let out a sigh of relaxation. “You can tell us about the Joker’s break out. Why did you help him?”

 

I shook my head. “I didn’t help him. When he told me he was planning one I informed security and one of his main caretakers.”

 

“There is no record of that.”

 

“I don’t know what Robert did with the information.”

 

“What did the Joker tell you about it?”

 

Officer #2 came out of the bedroom with a smile on his face. I gave him a mean look. Officer #1 snapped his fingers to get my attention again. “All he said, was that he was leaving soon.”

“Why would he tell you that? Are you fucking him?” He said this with a vicious grin on his face.

 

I reached out to grab my water bottle from my coffee table, the officer slapped my hand and forced me to drop the bottle. I looked at him sharply.

 

“Answer my question bitch.”

 

I glared at him. This was a mean cop, he just liked to beat up people he saw as trash. I could bet he had a small dick or something, guys like that are taking out some twisted sexual frustration like this. “NO!” I yelled at him.

 

He stood up to intimidate me. “Don’t talk to an officer of the law like that you stupid whore, or I will serve you up some justice, for facilitating the escape of a prisoner.”

 

“You have already broken several laws the way you came in here to question me! I’m not gonna put up with this shit.” I went to stand up from the couch and he backhanded me right in the cheek and I fell back onto the couch hard.

 

Officer #2 was watching, standing on the other side of the coffee table.

 

“Where’s th’ Joker!” Porn ‘stache yelled at me.

 

“I don’t know!” I screamed back. Flashes coming back to me of my father doing the same damn thing when I was a kid, tears popped up into my eyes and ran down my face. Even while I was angry, I knew I couldn’t get away with shooting a cop even if he was beating me. I couldn’t defend myself, I was trapped like I have been so many times before. Fear choked me inside.

 

“Where is he bitch? I can do this all night!”

 

Officer #2, with his greasy brown hair and pimples, just laughed as he watched, chiming in, “he can yuh know.”

 

Porn ‘stache kicked me on the upper thigh and it hurt bad, he wasn’t going soft on me to make me cooperate. This was the beginning of a real beating, and if I wanted to get out of this alive I was going to have to think of something. 

 

He gripped my arm and shook me and I screamed bloody murder, hoping to god my neighbor’s would do something, anything. A heartbeat later I heard doors in the hallway open on their squeaky hinges. Then the officer punched me again in the same cheek and and blood poured from my mouth, there were stars and bright flashes in my eyes and I was sure I’d black out if I got hit again.

 

There was a knock on my door. “What’s going on in there? I want to see Dr. Quinnzel!” I took a deep breath and the tiniest bit of hope wormed inside me. It was Loto my gigantic Samoan neighbor, he was easily twice the size of the officer beating me.

 

The door was unlocked and when Loto didn’t get an answer he opened the door. The officers took one look at him and let me go, turning around to confront Loto.

 

I took two more breaths and went for my gun as quickly as I could.

 

“What are you doing to her? You are police! You can’t hit a woman like that!” Loto yelled at them as he stepped inside the door frame. He was my big Samoan angel right this second.

 

“We can question a suspect any way we want, now get the fuck outa here before I find a reason to take you in!” Loto did not like that answer.

 

I had my gun in my hand though, I tried to stand and couldn’t, so I sat up on the couch and pointed my gun at Officer #1, and pulled the hammer to make that clicking sound every one knows.

 

The officers turned their heads horror movie style to look at me sitting on the couch pointing a gun at their backs. “Get the fuck out of my home, if you ever come back I will shoot you before you step foot inside here again.”

 

I got another squinty look. “You wouldn’t dare to shoot a cop.”

 

My face went flat and cold, my fear leaking away. “You aren’t cops, you’re thugs in uniform.”

 

Loto laughed, then scowled at them, taking my side. “And if I see or hear a peep of yous guys again, I am gonna pound you into the dirt.” He was still in front of the door and he was blocking them from leaving. Loto pulled out his cell phone and snapped pictures of them.

 

“I got your faces now boyz, I’m send these t’all my brudda’s.” Then he stepped further into my apartment and motioned for them to leave. They walked out, but Porn ‘stache had one more thing to say. “You won’t always have him around, we will see you soon bitch.” Loto closed the door and locked it. I put my gun down on the coffee table, “when I bought this, I didn’t think I would be pointing it at cops.” My hands were shaky, and I sincerely wished I had just shot them. I would be saving other innocent people from being beaten right? Now I have to wonder constantly when they are going to come back.

 

I didn’t do anything wrong, and suddenly, I find myself on the other side of the law, violently so.

 

Loto grabbed a clean dish towel and a bag of frozen peas from my freezer, sat down next to me and started looking at my injuries. He wiped at the blood and cuts on my face with the cloth.

 

“Why did they have to ruin your pretty face huh doctuh?” I knew it was meant to be a rhetorical question but I answered anyway. “Because, some men, need to destroy the beauty in the world because they are ugly and twisted on the inside.” I thought that it was people like that who need to be inside Arkham, not people like Henry who just prefer to play with blocks and trains. Henry wouldn’t ever think about beating my face in.

 

“Thank you Loto.” He nodded kindly at me. “Any time doctuh.” He put the frozen peas in my limp hand and pressed it against my cheek, indicating I should do it for myself. I did. 

 

After he decided to stop pampering me he leaned back and sat comfortably beside me, looking at the empty tv screen. “Gotham is a hard city to live in doctuh, you might want to get out of here while you still can.” It was good advice, and maybe I should take it. But I don’t want to leave Gotham, I have set myself up to be successful here and I will succeed or die trying.

 

I shook my head, which didn’t feel good. “I’m not leaving Loto. I’m a tough girl, and for a moment I got scared. But I am not going to be scared next time, I am going to be ruthless.” I pointed to my gun. He nodded, I’m not sure if it was in approval or in resignation. 

 

“Will you be okay tonight?” He asked while he stood up and looked around. Nothing else had been touched, just me lying on the couch bleeding.

 

“Yes.” He nodded and moved towards the door and unlocked it. “I’m ma be listening for you okay?” He tapped his ear. “Thanks Loto. I’ll scream again if I need something.”

 

\-----

 

Over the next week Harleen’s face and bruises healed slowly. She was constantly asked questions at work about it. When she told some people the truth about what happened, they often were not surprised. Multiple other people said that some cops of the same description had come questioning around Arkham too. Even starting a big argument with the security guards that had survived the breakout.

 

Her patients had been very shocked to see her like that, they cried and worried for her. She told them quietly that she would be ready the next time they came for her. Henry and Gilda had asked the same question. “How can you be so brave?” Harleen had held their hands and looked them in the eyes when she said, “I have been a victim before, but I am older now, stronger now. I’m never going to be anyone’s victim again, I will fight and I will live.” Henrietta wouldn’t stop crying and telling Harleen that she was, “jumping in the dark water.” The symbolism didn’t escape her. Henrietta was more intuitive than Harleen normally gave her credit for. It was true though, Harleen was beginning to feel like jumping into the abyss was getting more and more attractive each day.

 

The bruises faded, but her anger didn’t.

 

She knew that they would come back for her. No egotistical man like Porn ‘stache could let it go, let a woman win in any tiny way. Harleen brought her gun to work, in her car, and in the grocery store. She began to check her apartment before she went inside. Determined that she would be ready, next time.

 

It took two weeks for the bruises to fade completely. Now that she was back to looking beautiful Harleen planned on going to Gold Mine.

 

Harleen spent the next three months like this, every weekend she would go to the Joker’s known hangout spots. There were three different clubs she went to regularly, she became observant and watched the way the staff worked and moved around. After a while she noticed they treated her differently. That the bartenders started giving her free drinks every night, and that they would snap a quick picture when she came in. She watched how the bouncers became quite protective of her. She did get guys who harassed her all the time, which is why she so rarely went out like this before. Now though, the bouncers had a careful eye on her. Once she saw them grab a guy before he could even make his way over to her. She got to dance and drink and show off with out all the creeps pawing at her or insisting she came home with them. It was another taste of freedom she enjoyed immensely. Because, nothing is worse then a guy who starts yelling at you to get your ass in his car. She didn’t want anything to do with a man who had no respect or manners for a lady. 

 

One night the batmobile finally pulled up along side her as she was walking home. She had wondered when the caped crusader would be interested in her. A gruff voice spoke from inside. “Why do you want to see him Doctor Quinnzel?”

 

She pretended not to notice him, but answered anyway. “That’s none yuh business.”

 

“Stop.”

 

Harleen stopped walking and turned to the dark window. She didn’t like that he approached her like this. The first time she meets the most famous hero of Gotham and he is following her like a persistent Jon trying to pick her up.

 

“No.” She said boldly.

 

“Why, what are you to him?”

 

She shook her head, and began to walk again. “I am nothing to him.”

 

The batmobile rolled along with her again. “You know he is crazy doctor, he will kill you, hurt you.”

 

Harleen stopped right there, he just pushed her pet peeve button and she was pissed off at him now.

 

“I am a free citizen of Gotham! I can see and talk to whoever I like and it’s none of yuh business. Leave me alone!” She stared down the dark window of the sleek black vehicle.

 

The window came down all the way, obviously he recognized how ridiculous it was to argue with her while hiding behind dark glass. He looked dangerous in his black mask. “Just stay away from him, I don’t want to see another young woman’s life destroyed by the Joker.”

 

Harleen was so mad now that her anger felt like steam coming from her ears.

 

“It’s not the Joker who is ruining my life! It’s that corrupt director in Arkham, it’s violent dirty cops punching my face, it’s creeps like you stalking me down the street and telling me how to live my life. When you don’t know shit about me! Fuck you Bat-man! What kinda schmuck name is that anyhow?”

 

“I am trying to help you doctor Quinnzel.” He said calmly, ignoring her anger.

 

“You wanna help me? You wanna fucking help me?” She pulled out her blue .45 from her purse and pointed it at him. She didn’t care if he was Batman, no man was going to tell her how to live her life. “Then move along.”

 

He shook his head and rolled the window up and slid away into the night.

 

Little did she or Batman know, but there was a guy half a block behind them taking pictures of their little conversation.

 

The information was going back to the Joker, who had been sending people to follow her covertly for some time now. He had taken pictures of her going to dinner, work, out at night, when the cops showed at her place, and her face the next day, her life between then and now. The Joker would know everything the informant heard tonight too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't got as good a reception of this story on AO3. But that's alright, I think I am going to try posting some other stories I have from different fandoms.
> 
> I always appreciate a review, and these kudos. Hope you have enjoyed my writing :3


	8. The Watcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright! This chapter is a little different I switch from Harleen's POV and the Joker's POV. A lot happens! Hope you enjoy it. :3

Ch. 8 The Watcher

 

The Joker looked at his smartphone, and at the text that pleased him greatly. His Lady had just walked into Gold Mine, the top class night club he owns. His lackey had sent him a picture of her sitting at one of the bars sipping a lemon drop. He immediately texted one of his handymen and told him to head over to her place and install the cameras. Making sure to mention that he must above all make sure not there was no evidence of him ever being there. Or bad things would happen to him.

 

He may have promised her that he wouldn’t send any more goons to her, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. Then it would let him know everything about her, not just some pictures of her coming and going but what she was like at home and alone. He looked at her picture again, fishnets, black vinyl shorts and a red corset with a bow on the back. She was like the ultimate christmas present, that was waiting specifically for him. Not to open before christmas.

 

If his plan went accordingly then he would be bunkered down in Delta site two, one of his many real estate holdings through one of his companies, by christmas. He could kidnap her and bring her with him while he hides out for awhile. Spend a lot of alone time with his doctor.

 

Remembering the scent of her set his body burning for her. He liked the way she looked at him, as if he was fireworks in the sky. 

 

He didn’t typically like his lovers to stay around, let alone talk with him for awhile. He thought he felt differently because of the circumstances her met her in. He was forced to stay and she was forced to talk to him. He found the lack of control and touch to be intriguing. That only a week knowing her, it felt incredibly erotic to just smell her. He told himself it was sensory deprivation that caused his need for her. That sitting alone in a room for hours on end made for agonizing boredom to him, that seeing a person any person is a relief.

 

Now he liked her. Wanted to see her again, in real life. Where he would have the power.

 

He was standing behind the two way mirror on the second story of his club Black Box, looking down on the crowd of young people who came here to sweat and grind on each other. He normally enjoyed watching them, but not tonight.

 

His phone vibrated and he looked at his new text, “Job’s done.” It said, he quickly wired the man five thousand dollars and shoved his phone in his pocket. Only to take it out a moment later to look at her picture again. Dressed in lingerie he knew was for him, why else would she be wearing his favorite colors?

 

There was a knock on the door and he knew that his club manager was going to alert him that Vesuvius his Italian arms dealer was here to negotiate. He already knew because the Joker had watched him walk in the front door like any customer. He respected this man, he was quite intelligent and had excellent manners. His connection with Vesuvius was very important and he always tried hard not to scare the guy off since Vesuvius was his main import of guns into Gotham. They hid the guns in shipments of cheese, parmesan mostly.

 

He was going to need those guns and ammo for his plan, he had had a lot of time to come up with a plan while sitting in Arkham. It usually took him months to define and refine a plan, but sitting alone with no distractions for a week really helped him focus.

 

Well, he did have one distraction.

 

So when he got out he began to collect information on her from afar, while simultaneously starting the groundwork for his big plan. Such as; ordering a lot of guns and ammo in advance, and getting a shipping operator manager in his pocket, ordering electronics and props, and some special requests to a few seamstresses.

 

He thought about Dr. Harleen Quinnzel often. Was certain that she thought about him too. He wanted her, but understood that she wasn’t ready for him. That she was still too shiny and new to play with him yet. The Joker plays rough, and those who can’t play the game die. He had a feeling that she would get there though, that she wanted to be with him.

 

He had seen her soul, and it cried out for freedom, freedom to fall into the abyss. Into the fire and screaming, power and wealth that is his life. Some day, his Dr. Harleen Quinnzel would truly become his, his Harley Quinn.

 

She will smile for only him. Sigh and moan only for him. The Joker spread cold eyes over the people on the club’s dance floor, and gripped his hard flesh inside his pants, growling lustily behind the glass. If she had shown up here looking like that, he wasn’t sure if he could have held himself back and kept his patience running. 

 

“Sir?” A whisper came into his ear.

 

He hadn’t answered the door when they knocked, so Frost was politely trying to get his attention. Just quietly trying to get his attention, but not to rudely as to piss him off. That’s why he liked Frost, reliable for information and also extremely polite manners.

 

“Yes Frost? I saw him come in, anything else?” The Joker didn’t move away from the glass window while he talked, knowing he was loud enough for Frost’s hearing. 

 

“I secured the time spot for usage of the crane, for The Plan.” He nodded curtly and backed out of the room.

 

I nodded to him, even though he was gone. I smiled widely to know that another key element to my plan is coming through well. I was giddy to think that I would soon capture Batman in a deadly game of cat and mouse that will crush him brutally. And once he finally backs down then Gotham’s political system will also break down from overload and corruption. Anarchy could be achievable in less than five years if he could just get rid of the annoying hero.

 

Another knock came just a few moments later. “Come in.” He purred

 

The Joker smiled, another one of the puzzle pieces was walking into his office right now. All he had to do was be nice, convince him to help and most importantly not kill him.

 

“Ah! Vesuvius!” He went over and hugged the man warmly and kissing cheeks. As was a common greeting style for Europeans and especially Italians. Vesuvius, while cautious, hugged him back warmly and the Joker could feel the man’s spine relax under his hands.

 

“You are looking good Joker King, did the nuthouse treat you well?” He said it as a joke, and the Joker took it well. “Why yes sir, real good care of me! Gave me all sorts of drugs! Hahahahahaha!” He compounded the man’s joke and made him laugh along too.

 

He led them over to a table set up on the far side of the room over looking the bar. 

 

“So..... Vesuvius.” He rolls the Italian’s name out like a growling tiger “How can I get you, to give me everything I want?” His tone came out lighter at the end but he was still staring at the man like a snake trying to hypnotize. His forehead pointed at Vesuvius and his eyes rolled up.

 

His own eyes twinkling Vesuvius mimicked the Jokers position but with his head twisted to the side so he looked at the Joker with his left eye. “Diamonds.” The Joker pulled back against his seat quickly and put his hand over his mouth showing his grin tattoo. His eyes crinkled with his real grin underneath. 

 

“Twinkle twinkle little star..... yes I can get you those yes yes yes... easily.” He laughed and held out his hand for a shake on the agreement. Vesuvius stood up and shook the Joker’s hand warmly. “Wonderful! Wonderful my homie!” They both laughed.

 

Vesuvius pulled away first. “I know you are a busy man Joker King, and I want to give you ample time to get those diamonds for me. I will be here in America for about a month, if you need more time I can arrange for my people to pick them up later.”

 

The Joker giggled at him, “My good man, I will have your diamonds in a week.” The Italian’s eyebrows rose about an inch. 

 

The Joker stood up and walked with his arms dealer towards the office door, clearly he was ready to leave. Which the Joker didn’t mind because he was counting the bad jokes Vesuvius was throwing at him and it made him want to pull a knife on the man. But! He was being nice, and Vesuvius was being nice and everyone would get what they wanted. It was a good business relationship for them and they tried hard to keep it.

 

“How about dinner together next Friday? My favorite place here in Gotham, Nightingale. They have the best ravioli this side of the Atlantic!” He laughed at his compliment, and waited for the Joker’s reply. Who put his eyes skyward, as if listening to something, tilting his head. “It sounds good to me, but please tell Johnny Frost about it, can’t promise it will stick inside this noggin, “ knocking on his skull, “He will be right outside this door, and happy to see you walking out alive!” 

 

The door opened and Vesuvius began to fade out, losing his smile after the Joker finished talking and waved him goodbye as he shut the door. As expected, Frost pulled the man’s attention away politely.

 

The Joker turned his own attention back to the glass window that looked down to the club. This deal gave him an excuse to have a wild night and rip off a jewelry store or two for fun. No elaborate plan for this, just in and out before Batman got there.

 

He grinned, thinking about keeping something for his lady love. His frown disappeared though as his insecurities sunk in. Why would a smart woman, a doctor, want anything to do with a fucked up scumbag like him? She is probably relieved he is gone, never wants to see him again. What if she leaves? Moves away, why does he care? Why did he care about one stupid bitch in glasses?

 

He remembered her picture, wearing that outfit, she was always going to his clubs. Of course she wanted to see him, he was the one who has been keeping her waiting. He suddenly realized it had been months and that if he wanted to keep her attention on him then he must make an appearance to her soon. Surprise her.

 

Since she had surprised him. Frost had told him some interesting news last week, that she had been seen arguing with Batman, telling him to leave her alone. He guessed that the Bat had tried to warn her about him, told her to stay out of it. She stood up for him though, once with those cops and once to Batman. She was a woman with balls of steel and not afraid to use them, just the kind of woman he could have by his side. She had even taken that cops beating without going to the hospital or crying to the press. 

 

Putting his hand over his mouth he allowed himself a rare moment to feel happy. He had some good things to look forward to, robberies, a dinner date, and making time to see his woman.

 

He suddenly felt like this was going to be a good week for him.

 

\-------

 

Stepping out the door of Gold Mine was like stepping out into deafness, it was so quiet on the street that her ears were ringing. She looked back inside the closing door at the shiny world contained within. 

 

“Are you gonna be alright gettin home lady?” The guard at the door asked her.

 

She looked down the empty street and got a very very bad feeling about it. She looked at the bouncer and gave him puppy eyes, “would you be a gentleman and walk me to my car?” He nodded, leaned inside and tapped someone on the shoulder who stepped over to his post.

 

He followed her down the street, she told him her car was about three blocks down and to the right. He was watching her ass as she walked, but she was checking every shape on the dark streets. One thirty in the morning was no time for a lady to be alone on Gotham city streets. 

Just as they turned the corner where her car was a voice came out of the dark.

 

“You are just always surrounded by men aren’t you whore?”

 

Harleen’s face snapped over to where the voice came from, beside her car on the parking lot, just out of range of the street light. He stepped into it dramatically. It was the cop Porn ‘stache, he looked to be alone.

 

“Officer?” The bouncer looked at him very confused and back at her. Harleen gripped her purse.

 

“He’s a bad cop dude. Bad news.” She whispered to him. The bouncer guy squinted at the cop with distrust.

 

“Get the fuck out of here!” Porn ‘stache yelled at the bouncer, putting his hand on the gun at his side. The bouncer didn’t have one since it was against Gotham’s law for a guard like him to have one at a public bar.

 

“I’m not leaving the lady here with you man, not happening.” Said the valiant bouncer.

 

The cop pulled his gun and focused it at the man, who had put his hands up showing he was unarmed. “Just let her go!” He pleaded with the rogue cop.

 

Harleen took a deep breath and opened her purse slowly while the cop has been distracted with her protector. But she didn’t need much protection as she quietly pulled her blue .45 out and aimed it at the cop.

 

“I am gonna kill you and then beat the shit out of this woman and there is nothing you can do about it you stupid bastard!” The cop yelled and shot off his gun, the sound was like a punch in the face being this close and Harleen didn’t hesitate on shooting hers right after.

 

Both men crumpled to the ground, but it was the bouncer who was still groaning in pain. They both trained their eyes on the cop, his body didn’t even twitch. The bouncer’s shoulder had been pierced, and luckily went right through.

 

She took a moment to walk over for a good look, her bullet had clipped the side of his head and now his brains were leaking over the pavement. A shocked expression still on his face. She thought she would feel awful after killing someone. But this guy had been so violent and horrible to her that she didn’t feel bad. No, she felt incredible! Powerful!

 

“Ha!” She screamed at his shocked face. “Fuck you!” She said as she turned back to her would be protector and pulled him to standing with his uninjured arm. He groaned but did as she directed. She put the safety on and slid the gun back into her purse. “Let’s get you back to the club so they can take care of you.”

 

He panted as they walked back up the street.

 

“I can’t believe you just shot a cop. A pretty thing like you.”

 

Harleen sighed, always with the sexist views.

 

“You should have seen what he did to my face a while ago. He needed to be stopped.”

 

“Yeah I get that, but.... Fuck.”

 

She stared at him real hard and he looked a bit scared of her.

 

“You can’t go back in time and change it! I wouldn’t even if I could. He needed to be dead and I don’t regret it for a second. Otherwise it would be both of us on that pavement right now.” Her voice was cold while she said it to him. She knew he was probably just in shock, but she wasn’t about to have her only witness paint her as a murder in his own eyes.

 

He nodded and she tugged him on towards the club again. Some guys rushed out to meet them and picked up their comrade and took him away into the back of the club. Harleen let them fuss and she just melted back into the quiet night, and back to her car, giving Porn ‘staches body a kick for good measure.

 

After getting in her car and driving away, Harleen broke out into a triumphant laughter that echoed behind her on the road.

 

\-------------------------

 

The Joker had just gotten back to his home. It was a suite of rooms made on the upper stories of a industrial office building that one of his shell corporations supposedly used. Some of his lackeys made use of the lower floors for extra sleeping quarters, artillery storage, and paper file storage. And a garage in back for his favorite cars and stolen ones he uses for robberies.

 

He liked the views out the windows over the neighborhood around him with all the street lights made it look like christmas year around.

 

This was one out of a dozen places he stayed while running from the law or Batman. Right now he was really waiting for Delta site two to be finished renovating so he could stay there long term. He figured that he would need a vacation after he finishes his big Plan. 

 

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket for an update sound, when he picked it up he saw it was the app that let him tap into the cameras now positioned in Dr. Harleen Quinnzel’s apartment. He took his larger screen mobile device out from his nightstand drawer and used the same app to access the real time footage of the cameras. He wanted to see it on a bigger screen than his tiny phone. 

 

She was in the living room taking her high heels off when he began streaming the live footage. She was saying something, so he pushed the volume button up. “I am not gonna take shit from anyone anymore! I am a brand new Harleen Quinnzel, I shoot fucking assholes, I tell Batman to go fuck off, I kiss the Joker!”

 

He smiled, happy to see this woman be passionate and angry about something. At Arkham she had been calm and controlled, but not now. He sat down on his bed with his legs crossed, getting comfortable so he could watch her for awhile.

 

“Ring!.” His phone went off, someone was calling him. It pissed him off, he didn’t want to be disturbed right now. “What! He answered angrily.

 

“Sir! Brent is in the hospital!”

 

The Joker rolled his eyes, he wasn’t anyone’s mother. What did he give a shit?

 

“And?” He could hear rustling, like the man was moving. He had forgotten this guy’s name, he looked at the phone, it was Alex his Gold Mine manager. “He was shot by a cop sir, and... your Lady, the one you told us to watch, she shot that cop dead!”

 

“Great! Great!” He hung up on the man. They would take care of Brent.

 

The Joker grinned as the happiness bubbled up inside him. Doctor Quinnzel was turning out to be the most interesting character he has come across in a long time. She was intelligent, beautiful, caring, but controlled, and she was recklessly brave. Now he knew that she could kill and not go soft about it, she seemed to be enjoying her first kill, from what he saw on that video.

 

He turned back to the screen and tapped it to turn it back on, she had left the living room and he tapped a few times to switch to the bedroom. She just ripped off the lovely red corset as the video popped up. Pulling off the vinyl shorts and the fishnet tights. She jumped on to her bed and bounced a little giggling, then flipped onto her back and grabbed her breasts and started rubbing them. The Joker zoomed in as much as he could, but he still didn’t have all the detail he wanted on the low quality video. Her body was visible though, and it was beautiful, all pale with long legs. Her right hand went from pinching her nipples to snaking down below to her blonde patch of curls. 

 

The Joker growled jealously, he wanted to be there, he wanted to his face between those lovely legs. He stretched out on his bed and propped himself up on some pillows. He used his left hold to hold the screen and his right hand mimicked hers, reaching down into his pants.

 

He watched her spread those legs wide and her hand dip further between them, fingers curling inside her. His heart beat thickly.

 

She was really his kind of woman. She may be a doctor but she was crazy as him, masturbating after her first kill. For the Joker, that’s about the sexiest thing ever. He had to close his eyes for a moment as emotion crawled around inside him. He felt the need, his need to be close to her, touch her, hear her voice. It's been too long.

 

He opens his eyes and she is standing up and at one of her dressers. She pulls something out and disappears into the bathroom a moment.

 

Suddenly he was scared, of how much he wants her, how strong the emotions are running through him and he doesn’t know how to cope. He puts the screen down and takes his hand off his cock. Anger mounts inside him.

 

He hops off the bed and rips the rest of his clothes off letting his body be naked and free, he stomps around his room. Grabs a cheap lamp and yanks it off the table and throws it into a wall making it shatter in ceramic pieces all over the floor. The crashing broken sound makes him feel better, he begins to breathe again and calm down.

 

He is angry because he is scared. He is scared because he is beginning to have real feelings for Harley. The last time he had feelings for a woman, he had been desperate to please her, had ended up the twisted monster he is now, and she and their baby... ended up dead.

 

Tears were sliding down his cheeks while he took deep calming breathes.

 

It had been nearly twenty years but his heart still held the pain, he had avoided all romantic feelings for so long that now, it seemed to be taking him back with a vengeance.

 

He had no idea what she truly felt for him. The Joker knew that they had some sort of connection, he was sure of it. But, he would have to see her again to know how she truly felt, not just her moaning for him.

 

His attention suddenly snapped back to the screen lying on the bed and the noise that was coming from it. He had been too distracted to listen earlier, but there is was. His name on her lips in the tone of soft ecstasy.

 

His cock rose right up again. He groaned from the pull inside him, his legs mechanically walked back over to the bed, he needed to see this.

 

She was on her knees on her bed with her hands in fists on the sheets in front of her. She was rocking her body on top of a dildo, he assumed. At first she was looking down at the bed and her golden curls were spread out around her body and swinging with her rhythm. Then she tossed all that hair over her shoulder and rose her face to the ceiling which was nearly straight at him, a look of pure pleasure on her face, eyes closed.

 

“Ah! Ahhhh! Aaahhhh! Yeah, oh, Joker please! Oh please, Mista Jay, fuck me, fuck me, yes uhhh... ah, uhhh!” She had an unsteady rhythm, but it was sexy as fuck watching her, knowing that her passion was for him, that she wanted his real cock inside her as much as he wanted to be too.

 

His cock pulsed and it made him groan, he was so hard and engorged that he was quite sensitive. He had to start with a light grip and slow stroking, knowing he was most of the way there just from watching her.

 

He switched to the second camera in the room, it was on her dresser and facing the bed directly across so that he got a perfect view of the front of her. Almost like she did it for him, she sat up arched her back, changing her rhythm to fast and shallow. It gave him a wonderful view of her bouncing on that dildo, her knees spread wide, her face tilted to the ceiling. 

 

Her hands worked her nipples, pinching and tugging on them. Then she dropped her hands to her thighs, “hurt me Mista Jay.” She whispered, he nearly couldn’t hear it. She dug her fingernails into the flesh of her thighs and raked them up to her hips.

 

“Oh fuck!” Her body shuttered. “Oh fuck, ahhh.. Ahh fuck!” She raked her nails on her flesh again and once more and her orgasm hit. “AAhhhh! Ahhh! AH! Puddin!” She moaned loudly as her muscles spasmed and she fell over. Laying on the bed recovering.

 

In that moment he came too, spraying his seed over his bed and the screen. He came so hard it felt like it took all the energy in his body with him and his legs went weak and he fell to his knees beside the bed. His eyes were glued on her as he panted, he could see her chest rising and falling too.

 

Now, he felt very very sure that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

 

He needed her. Soon.

And now he needed some sleep. He put the mobile device on his nightstand right next to him and slipped under the covers. Sleeping deeply for the first in a very long time.


	9. The Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A normal day and a chance meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, forgive me.

Chapter 9. Will you be mine? - The Dinner

 

My shift on wednesday ended with sorting through the donations of toys that the Gotham city youth scouts gave us. They had gone around asking for people’s old toys, games and things for our patients here at Arkham to have. We were sorting it first by separating the dirty, broken and dangerous toys, like jump ropes, into the garbage cans behind us. There were seven basketballs donated this time and I knew that there would be cheering for the fun they will have. The scouts did this every other year, and there are a few charities that donate during christmas and easter. Jed was here with me because I volunteered him. So we got to be the ones to do the dirty work of sifting through the bags. Nearly half was just garbage, but the other half were nearly brand new and usable.

 

We made giant piles of toys around us in the room. Stuffed toys, board games & cards, basketballs & outdoor, dolls & action figures, skateboards & wheels. We talked while we sorted. He had finally forgiven me when the bruises had faded from my face. I told him what happened to me with the cops. Jed was shocked and crossed his heart and thanked god for protecting me. It was the first time I had seen him do anything religious and it made me smile. I tried hard not to giggle at him. I just politely said thank you for the prayer. I didn’t mention it was the same cop who was on the news who had been found shot dead in the streets a few nights ago. 

 

Our conversation lightened up abit and I tried to play a morbid little game with him.

 

“So, how do you think someone could kill themselves with this?” I asked him jokingly while I picked up a white three foot tall stuffed bunny rabbit. Jed laughed and shook his head, smiling, “Shove one of those fuzzy ears down my throat.” He said to me while pretending to do so with his arm and dramatically making choking noises and fell over. It made me laugh almost hysterically, imagining him shoving a fuzzy ear into his mouth was completely absurd! It must taste awful!

 

He picked up a garden gnome that some off person put in there. “How would you kill yourself with this here garden gnome Doctor Quinnzel?” I giggled as I did my scene, “I’d be walking along, then I’d trip and fall and sit on him, and he’s go right up my ass!” I burst out laughing at this morbid and ridiculous way to die. Jed cracked up, laughing and shook the gnome. “No! No! Not my hat!” Jed laughed and laughed til he cried.

 

I turned around and pulled a new bag of toys towards me and ripped it open. It seemed to be mostly stuffed animals and I plunged my hands inside and pulled them from the garbage bag they were stuffed in. White, brown, yellow and blue bunnies fell out onto the floor. But my eye caught something different still inside the bag. I shoved my hand back down into the rest of the fuzzy to grab it, and I pulled out a lime green teddy bear!

 

I smiled at it because it reminded me of a certain man with the same color hair. Jed was looking at me curiously. “It reminds you of your wayward patient huh?”

 

I nodded. “I want him.” Still staring at the bear. Jed’s face looked shocked, scandalized.

 

“The bear Jed, I want the bear, Jeez!” I growled defensively at him, shaking the cute little green teddy bear at him. He rolled his eyes at me. “Okay. Take it.” I smiled and walked over to put the bear by my purse. It took another hour and a half to finish sorting, boxing up and moving the new inventory and the garbage where it belonged. 

 

After I got home I set my new green buddy on the right side of my dresser facing my bed.

 

\----------------------------

Wednesday afternoon the Joker woke up and felt very good about his day, even lucky. He got dressed in some old sweats and grabbed three guns, three knives and a hand grenade from his personal stash of weapons. Then headed downstairs and woke the boys in the spare bedrooms. There were about six of them, blinking at him stupidly, rubbing their eyes and saying, “What’s up boss?”

 

“Saddle up boys! We are gonna go rob the train!” He skipped out of the room but then went back and stuck his head inside. “By that I meant the Mall.” They nodded and starting putting on their shoes and grabbing the essentials. He yelled down the hall so both bedrooms could hear him. “Be ready in fifteen minutes, and remember your costumes!” 

 

The Joker liked to see his men in silly costumes during a firefight or robbery, it made them easy to distinguish between them and the normal people or enemies. 

 

He opened a closet and pulled out a few cheap duffle bags and went over to the armory room and began stuffing guns, bullets, grenades and sheathed knives into the bags. The first lackey who passed by the armory got two bags and the Joker took the third. They shuffled out to the waiting white unmarked van. The guys got into the back and the Joker drove there, very fast and reckless and yes, they got a few good bruises from it.

 

When they parked at the mall in front of their target big box store. The Joker crawled into the back and began giving them a game plan. “Alright fluffy monsters! We are going in the door directly behind this van, the security office is only a few feet away on the right so we will take care of them first. Spray the place with bullets and tell all the mommies to get the fuck outa there.” The guys laughed and nodded. “I want all the jewelry in the cases and in the back vault. Jimmy! You find the vault and break it open. I get all the diamonds, you guys can split the cash alright?” They all shuffled excitedly, this is the reason why they stayed with him. He was a very generous criminal boss man compared to most of them. Generously so. He was unpredictable though and as often killed his own men as other people. There are always Pros and Cons to every job. They liked theirs.

 

“Ready boys?” All nods, guns in hand, the Joker opened the back of the van door and a dozen men in panda suits, unicorn masks, and giant pink kitty suits ran towards the sliding glass doors.

 

A single security officer met them at the door, and got at least a dozen bullets to the chest and he was dead before he hit the ground. They scared the hell out of the customers who were standing at the registers paying. Women were running, diving and frozen to the spot every where around the store. Screaming shrilly, stealing clothes and hiding under clothes racks. 

 

“Get the fuck outa here! Get out now! We are taking the joint!”

 

The cashiers fled immediately. Some women grabbed their carts as they went, not willing to give up the items they wanted, becoming part of today’s crime too. More security guards came over and got shot immediately, not even getting the time to try to talk them down or threaten them with the police.

 

The man with the unicorn head got tazed by a guard who wasn’t quite dead yet.

 

The Joker headed over to the jewelry department as soon as he was comfortable with the level of chaos around him. He used a gun to shoot the glass cases and his steel toe boot to kick them in. He had one of the now empty duffle bags on his shoulder and he began sweeping the jewelry into it, glass shards and all. There were cuts on his hands but he didn’t care much. It was all so worth what the jewelry would get him. Behind the broken cases was a tiny safe that kept money from the jewelry sales. He whistled and Panda man came over to see what the boss needed.

 

“Grab that and put it in the van will yuh?”

 

Panda man nodded and they used a few bullets and Panda’s mallet to break the mount on the counter to pick it up. Panda went out the door to do as the boss said. The Joker went to meet us with his other lackeys who were trying to get at the vault.

 

There was an explosion that rocked the whole place and glass broke everywhere, raining down all over the floor and screams came from the customers who were too afraid to run who were just hiding in the forest of clothes racks. There was a cheer from the men and they began filling more duffle bags with cash and jewels. The Joker laughed as they loaded up, the hearing coming back to his ears which was the store speakers blaring some popular slut girl pop song.

On the way out he spotted a foot sticking out of a rack and hauled a middle aged woman to her feet, she whimpered and cried. “Please! Please don’t kill me! I have grandkids! A husband!”

 

The Joker laughed. This was probably the most exciting moment of this entire woman’s life. She was shaking like a leaf in her khaki pants. “Dance with me!” He announced to her, then swept her along with him as he tried to do the waltz with her. She screamed in fright and stumbled along with him, he nearly had to drag her. She was still babbling.

 

He laughed in her pathetic face and tossed her to the ground and walked away. He stopped at the customer service desk and reached over the counter and grabbed the intercom microphone and pressed the button to use it. 

 

“Attention all customers! Everything is fucking free today! Go at it, it’s on the house!” He cackled and danced out the door with his big bag of stuff held to his chest like a dance partner. 

 

As he hopped into the driver’s seat the police cars came screaming into the lot with their sirens blaring. The Joker just started the van and stomped on the gas, getting as much momentum as he could and drove right into one cop car which was in the way of the exit. Clipping the bumper mostly and moved the car out of the way and the van barreled across the lot and out to the street.

 

More cop cars showed up behind them and the Joker began to plan his escape. He decided to go with a tried and true way. Turning into a large residential area he went down a few blocks and turned and turned and turned down different streets, getting lost inside the complex suburban area. He spotted a house with the garage door up and a truck parked outside on the road and a man who was washing the truck. They pulled their van into the garage, the man began to come over to the van, hollering at them.

 

“Grab him, pull the door down and shut the fuck up.”

 

Three lackeys hopped out of the car, two grabbed the man and dragged him inside the garage, the other one pulled down the door just as they heard a siren approaching. Panda man popped the struggling had on the temple with his gun and they guy passed out right onto the floor.

 

“Okay, Now, two normal looking guys go grab a jacket from the closet and get into the truck. The rest of us are gunna lie in the back of the truck under a tarp.” The three guys already out of the van start looking around. One went inside came back with two jackets. Two of the men pull off their masks to reveal normal looking white american men, they pulled the jackets on and went back into the house and out to the truck, preparing.

 

Sirens went by once again. Outside the roar of the truck engine could be heard and it backed up to the garage. They prepared, then opened the door only a few feet and one by one the group crawled into the truck bed. The last one holding the door grabbed the tarp and went out, leaving the garage door down. He layed down and spread the tarp over them. The back window slid open and the Joker ordered the drivers to go, slow and steady. 

 

They drove out of there and back to their industrial building hide out across the city with no problems the rest of the way. Then pulled into the back of their own building which had no neighbors windows overlooking and pulled into the spacious garage.

 

The men cheer and Hi-fived and had fun. The Joker started pulling the booty bags into the common area and dumped the goods out. Finding the jewelry and setting it aside. Began sorting and arranging all the booty into circles and spirals on the floor.

 

One of the men came up behind him, “hey boss, I have a request.”

 

He spun around and had a small gun pointed at the henchmen. The man backed off and put his arms up in surrender. “Sorry boss.”

 

“What do you fucking want so bad?”

 

It was unusual for the men to approach him after a raid like this. They usually waited for him to decide what they would divvy up. “No diamonds.” The Joker quickly shot out before the man had a chance to say what. 

 

The man pointed down at what he wanted, just one thing. “Could I have that for my lady? I want her wearing my pearl necklace!” The lackey started cracking up, and while usually it was the Joker who laughed first, this joke was perfect for the moment and the Joker laughed and used the nose of his gun to scoot the pearls over to the man.

 

The lackey humbly bowed, “Thanks boss! I won’t bother you again okay?” Then backed out of the room with eyes subtly watching his boss. When he closed the door there was a exploding sound on the other side, from a bullet hitting the wall.

 

For the rest of the day the Joker spent rearranging his jewelry stash and collecting all the loose diamonds and popping some from their gold settings. And using sharpies to draw lady clowns with diamonds and pearls on the walls. 

 

\---------------------------------

 

When Friday night came around I didn’t want to go out to the clubs or be out late. I decided to go somewhere safe and classy where I was less likely to need to pull my gun out again. Like Nightengale, since I have just gotten paid and I didn’t mind splurging on myself again. It would also be nice not to have to dress like a hooker to get in. Tonight I planned on going with 1950’s classic american style, my new black halter dress and a bright red belt and heels. A scarlet flower clip pinning up my long golden blonde curls finished off the outfit. It even looked great with my glasses. I twirled around in the mirror about twenty times before I left for dinner.

 

Again I parked in the back and walked around to the front. This time I smiled at the receptionist and she took me right in again, even though it was Friday night. She actually put me at the same table.

 

“Did you know that you ended up in Gotham Gossip magazine that night when Mister Wayne talked to you?” I looked at her with a startled expression, I hadn’t known anything like that. She giggled at me.

 

“I have never seen Bruce Wayne turned down so hard, are you married or something?” I shook my head. “Well it was all over the ‘zine Miss, Bruce Wayne rejected!” She said in a newscasters accent. I shook my head again in disappointment. “I didn’t mean for it to end up known by the public, how did that get out?”

 

She stood up straight, realizing now she was being very inappropriate with a customer.

 

“I’m... I’m... I’m so sorry ma’am...” She was back pedaling, seeing now how bad it would be for an employee to blab to a reporter about their customers. A major infringement of their privacy. “It was... It.. was Javier ma’am... Ummm... I am going to talk to our supervisor about... um privacy issues...um.. Please....”

 

I waved a had at her indicating she should stop.

 

“Listen, I don’t like that he talked about Mister Wayne’s and my private conversation. You make sure it doesn’t happen again. Or, I will go to the media letting them know there is a spy here at Nightengale.”

 

Her face spasmed with anxiety and she ran away from me mumbling. “Yes ma’am! Yes ma’am, of course ma’am, right away....” She was trying to prevent a staffing and media nightmare from happening.

 

A different waiter, Peter, gave me a menu and took my drink order. He was flirty and nice and we got along. I ordered an iced tea and a vodka martini, I really needed a stiff drink. It has been a hard past couple weeks of my life. I needed two drinks, so I ordered a glass of wine with my dinner, and kept sipping my martini. I began to feel a little buzzed by the time my dinner got to me and it helped me relax. The smell of my dinner made my stomach rumble instantly. I ordered the roasted venison with wild mushroom risotto and a sage herb micro salad. There was a lovely flavored olive oil sauce sprinkled around it. 

 

I ate every last bit of my dinner. I took my time and relaxed and watched the other customers at the restaurant. The couples on dates, the business meetings, the group of middle aged friends all having a lovely night out. All these people were being social, it made me feel nostalgic. It’s now been over three months since I had gone out with my cousin Sarah, that’s a long time to be alone. I felt it now that I saw other people being so social. I didn’t really have any friends, not ones that I would go out to dinner with. I hadn’t really thought about it much, but it seems I am a very anti-social person. Which isn’t good, humans are meant to be social animals and they become unhealthy when cut off from society.

 

I was sipping the last of my wine when there was a commotion at the door. I sincerely hoped it wasn’t Bruce Wayne again, I didn’t want to be confronted with the whole magazine gossip thing. 

 

I saw an Italian man walk in like he owned the place, with diamond earrings, gold rings and a cane. There was someone behind him, I heard laughter, the kind that sent chills up my spine and I instantly recognized it. The Joker’s laugh. My eyes riveted on the spot, waiting for him to come inside enough so I could see him. My mind flashed to last Saturday when I fantasized about him. It was wrong and I loved it, and I have been waiting for so long to see him again.

 

He finally came around from reception and followed the waitress farther into the restaurant to one of the more private booths available. I sat very still, watching him walk. My heart began to pound.

 

The Joker strolled confidently through the restaurant dressed in a gold pinstripe black collared shirt with with black slacks. He had gold chains around his neck and his usual candy apple green hair slicked back. It was incredible seeing him dressed up nice and comfortable in his surroundings. Not sitting on the floor with a straight jacket and greasy hair.

 

I wanted to say something, but my throat closed up and I couldn’t speak.

 

Right when he was about to sit down I saw him stiffen and turn to look around. He scanned past me, then backed up. His eyes went wide seeing me, recognizing me there. I saw his chest expand with breathe and he instantly came towards me. Our eyes were locked as I sat frozen in my seat while he came to me like a storm rolling in.

 

“Doctor Quinnzel!” He growled happily at me when he was close enough to be polite to greet me. I suddenly melted, he was happy to see me!

 

“Hi Puddin.” I said quietly to him as he came right to me and motioned for me to take his hand. He reached around and pulled my chair away as he also helped me stand up. He pulled me into a full body hug that left me breathless and he growled into my ear. “I am so happy to see you darling.”

 

I pulled back from him after a moment, frowning, “you kept me waiting too long!” He laughed at me warmly, “Yes, I have, I am so sorry doctor.” He grabbed my hands, “please, please my dear, would you meet my friend and join our table?”

 

I felt so relieved that he was happy to see me that I wasn’t sure what to do. “Would I be intruding?” He laughed like I told a great joke.

 

He leaned in and whispered in my ear while he gently pushed me in the direction of his table. “I would gladly kill him to be alone with you.” I giggled, thinking that I would probably do the same. And let him push me across the room. Everyone was staring at us in alarm, realizing who he is. I saw hands raise up quietly for checks.

 

When we arrived to his booth the other man was looking at me hesitantly, and put his eyes back on the Joker who spoke, “Vesuvius, please meet Doctor Harleen Quinnzel, she is my psychiatrist.” The man looked at me quite perplexed but I ignored it and stuck my hand out for a shake which he awkwardly took. “Nice to meet chyuh.” Then sat down in the booth.

 

The Joker sat down beside me but frowned. “Harley, I’d like you on my right.” 

 

Maybe I should have seen this for what it was, a possessive tactic to keep me from being too close to another male. Instead I thought of it as a sign that he felt he could communicate his needs to me. “Yes Mista Jay.” I said politely then wormed across his lap to sit on his other side, for a moment he gripped my hips roughly while I hovered over him.

 

Those fingers digging into my flesh felt like a promise to me.

 

The other man seemed to be speechless for a few moments.

 

“Vesuvius,” the Joker got his attention again, “I have something for you tonight to show that I am good for my word.” He pulled a silk handkerchief from his pocket and put it on the table for him. He didn’t touch it. The Joker giggled and opened it himself. There were at least two dozen diamonds and one large sapphire sitting in the silk. Vesuvius smiled widely and clapped the Joker on the back, “you are a genius man, no wonder you hold up here in Gotham, if you can get that many diamonds in just a week!”

 

The Joker had his eyes on me but spoke to the man, “ Gotham has a lot to offer a man like me.” Then brushed the hand from his shoulder. Vesuvius took his hand back like it had been doing something he hadn’t intended.

 

Peter showed up with menus, and I was pretty sure he had given us a few minutes to readjust politely. I handed the menu back at him, “I’d like the creme brulee Peter, thank you.” The Clown Prince of Crime looked up from his menu, to me and then to Peter, eyes icy. I noticed. “Mista Jay,” drawing his attention to my face, “he was my waiter over at my other table.” He nodded and frowned and looked at Peter, “Shoo!” And waved him away.

 

Peter scurried like a mouse.

 

Vesuvius put down his menu only after a few seconds. “I know I am having the ravioli. What did you dine of this evening Ms. Quinnzel?” He was making polite conversation with me. I gave him a friendly smile “I had the venison, it was excellent.” He nodded. 

 

“I want the lobster tonight.” The Joker said with finality. Slapped his menu down on the table and stood up. “Harley dear, please choose my sides for me, I will be right back, duty calls.” He laughed and sidled past me without an excuse me. He turned back to the table, “Oh and, don’t listen to anything this man says about me while I am gone!” Then he spun around again and headed off towards the bathroom.

 

Vesuvius looked at me very seriously, and waited to speak until the Joker was far out of earshot. “I have never seen him be nice to a woman before, or hug anyone ever.” I lost the smile on my face, “I am not surprised. I was only his psychiatrist for a week,” I looked to where he had gone wistfully. “I had no clue if he would like to see me or hurt me... or both.” The man nodded.

 

We were silent for a moment, contemplating our mutual friend.

 

I looked at him. “I wish I knew what his turning point was..”

 

Peter came over to the table and I stopped talking, not willing for another server to over hear my conversations again. “Ready to order?” He said even though one of us wasn’t at the table. 

 

“Yes.” I said simply and looked at Vesuvius.

 

“I’d like the ravioli please.” Peter nodded, “and a glass of chianti.” Peter looked to me, “The creme brulee remember?” Peter looked surprised. “Oh yes ma’am!” He nearly ran off, “Peter!” I called, “He will have the lobster.” Peter nodded and looked around waiting for the Joker to surprise him in some way. “Sides?” He asked. I looked at the choices, “hmmm.. Truffle fries and char grilled vegetables.” Peter nodded and shuffled away before the Joker came back.

 

Vesuvius made an uncomfortable face. “My dear, I also need to excuse myself for a few minutes.” He stood up and moved around the other side of the booth.

 

About three minutes after he stepped away from the table the Joker came back, sliding in right next to me until his thigh was flush with mine, a smile on his face. “So good of him to give us a few minutes.” He smiled and growled at me, then giggled like a girl. It was so silly that I had to giggle too. He gripped my chin and looked into my eyes. “How bad do you want me?” I was quiet, captured by his sky blue gaze. I saw fire inside him, intelligence and deep dark hidden needs in his eyes. He wanted, no, needed me to want him too.

 

I felt pulled to him, like gravity, like I wanted to inhale him so I can breath again. It scared me suddenly, how obsessive I have become of my former patient after so little time together. I only met him a few times and now my mind constantly circles about him. I think he saw my fear, seemed to be pleased by it, because he kissed me. Soft and slow and so enticing. His lips were warm. After a few minutes he leaned away from me to look at my star crossed eyes, smiling at me smugly.

 

Then he became ferocious in a blink of an eye and latched his mouth onto mine and pushing his body against mine, growling against my lips. My hands were brought to life and I touched him all over the thighs, chest and shoulders within my reach. I gently caressed his neck, not sure how far I should go, or how far he’d let me. The guy was very unpredictable.

 

I leaned back to take a breath and he gripped my jaw firmly and pulled me back in for another kiss before I could take a breath, leaving me light headed by the time he let me go. It was strangely exciting. 

 

“Mhmmmm..... Puddin’ do you forgive me for making you wait so long?” he whispered to me. “Worth the wait.” I replied with a smooth smile.

 

The Joker striked me like a snake and bit my lip, making me bleed a little, he then sucked on it. The sudden pain caused me to moan loudly, from both pleasure and pain. I could see a few disapproving stares over his shoulder. It made me feel like a high school girl again, rebelliously making out with my boyfriend in public. The taste of my blood was erotic as we kissed.

 

I bit his lip back and pulled which forced him to lean into me. He laughed and pushed me over while kissing down my neck and collarbone. Vesuvius sat down on the other side of the booth, looking not so amused at us lying across the booth seat. While we looked at him he ignored us and picked up his fork and took a bite of his food. I sat up and saw that our food had arrived and I hadn’t noticed.

 

“You two have a lot of lipstick on your faces.” The man said without looking over at us. I grabbed a white napkin and wiped down my lips and chin, there were two different shades of red on the napkin. I reached over and wiped his mouth too, only after a moment he shoved my hand away. He was still smeared a bit but I let it go. I could tell he wanted to eat. 

 

The Joker’s lobster was steaming and he looked over the plate very pleased. “I ordered truffle fries and chargrilled veggies as your sides, is that fine?” He nodded and reached for one of the fries and munched on it. Then dug into his lobster messily. Eating with his hands and no utensils, it was interesting but I didn’t question it. Who was I to tell someone how to eat their own food? I looked at Vesuvius, cutting each large ravioli into four pieces and dipping each of bite into the sauce that was dribbled all over the plate. He looked like a judge on the food channel. Both men had looks of pure food bliss on their faces and I felt a little jealous, so I picked up a spoon and murdered the sugar crust on top of my creme brulee.

 

“I have never seen anyone eat their creme brulee like that.” Vesuvius commented after I had taken the first mouthful of creamy custard and sugar shards. I smiled, “I like a little crust with every bite, so I crunch it up.” He just shrugged at me and didn’t seem to approve, I didn’t fucking care about his opinion of my eating habits though.

 

“Is it good?” The Joker asked next to me, his face curious.

 

Happiness bloomed in my heart because I realized I am true life having a moment that I had wished for a while ago. “It’s about the fanciest pudding you can get, want a taste? I don’t mind sharing with you Puddin’!” He looked pleased with me again, I scooped up a bite and fed him. He chomped on the spoon and shook his head forcing me to let go of it. He slowly pulled it from his mouth eyeing me flirtatiously. I could see his shoulders relax as he focused on the taste of the dessert. “Mhmm Mhm! That’s wonderful. I imagine you taste just as good Pooh-bear.”

 

I smiled brightly at him, happy that he enjoyed the dessert like me. That it’s something we have connected by.

 

Vesuvius stood up from the booth, his plate was mostly empty. “I am going to give you two love birds some privacy, I will call on you again next week Joker King. Goodnight.” He walked away and out of the restaurant. It was a very abrupt good bye but I understood. We must be obnoxiously sweet right now.

 

The Joker pulled my face back to him and kissed me softly, he tasted like the creme brulee and my mind melted and let my heart do all the talking with my lips. He gently laid me back down on the booth and pressed his body on top of mine. I unbuttoned his shirt and slid my hands around his trim waist and touched his skin greedily.

 

He growled into my ear, “Let’s go back to my place doll.”

 

I was very very tempted. Yet, there was a small part of me that said no, don’t do that. I wanted to ignore that little part of me, but, it was saying that the man who was gently kissing my collar bone also murders people on a whim.

 

“Tomorrow I can get my boys to pick up your stuff, I have a room that would be perfect for you. What do you say?”

 

Now he wanted me to move in with him?

 

I put a hand on his chest and moved him back enough I could look at his face. He seemed to be deeply content at the moment and I almost didn’t open my mouth to protest. 

 

“That’s a bit fast don’t you think?”

 

He frowned. “I like you doctor, I like you alot and want you to be with me, you do too!” He nearly yelled at me. We sat up now. I felt a quiver of fear. He looked at me beseechingly, seeing the reluctance on my face. “Isn’t this what you wanted? To be my girl, by my side?”

 

He was right, I have been waiting months for him to see me again. Want me again.

 

“Well, yeah but I’m not ready to just box up all my stuff.”

 

“Why not? I can get you anything, everything you need doll. I would steal and kill for yuh if it made you happy.”

 

I shook my head. “I am not ready yet, could we just slow down?”

 

He stood up, pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and slapped a few hundred dollar bills on the table. “If you want to be mine, you have to be ALL mine baby, or nothing.” He actually put his hands on his hips and waited expectantly. 

 

I blinked at him. Finding myself thinking that he was acting the most normal I had ever seen him. No laughing, no metaphors, no threats. He was absolutely serious with me right now. It was kind of shocking and I wasn’t sure what to do, or how close he was to being truly angry with me. It made me feel guilty somehow that I am displeasing him.

 

I whispered. “I am sorry, I’m not ready to give up my career yet.” I don’t know why I would add “yet” on there, I hadn’t meant that. Or did I? Was that just a classic freudian slip?

 

I could see the resentment on his face, disappointment. It was moments like these that I hated my psychology major just a little. I could read too much inside someone. I knew my own face showed him big sad doe eyes, apologizing even while my lips fought with him.

 

His eyes crinkled, then a smile slowly spread on his lips. He leaned over and grasped my wrists and pulled me towards him. “Think about how bad you want his baby,” He forced my hands to glide down his chest, abs, waist and to touch his thick hard on inside his pants. I gasped, and felt my clit pulse from excitement and my heart jump a beat. “I am going to give you some time to think about it, and I will be waiting for you. Because, no one else will satisfy me. I only want my lovely doctor.” He leaned over and kissed me even while he used his hands to make mine squeeze his cock and I could feel it pulse against my palm. I whimpered for him. He pulled back to standing straight and dropped my hands, then turned and walked away from me.

 

Not giving me a chance to answer, because he didn’t want it right now.

 

I sat on the edge of the booth, regretting badly that I hadn’t just said yes and went home with him. Even though I know that I couldn’t have moved in with him, that I wasn’t just going to be dating like a normal couple. That someone like him often has honeymoon like fun, then uses and abuses later on. I didn’t want to be a trophy for Mr. Wayne, and I didn’t want to be a plaything for the Joker. I didn’t want to end up like my mother. So If we were going to be together then I need some equality in our relationship. I had to draw the line, even if it left me alone and bitterly disappointed with how this night turned out.

 

I looked at the table with my half eaten creme brulee and the dirty plates left behind by their dinners. I felt tears forming in my eyes. This wasn’t how I thought seeing him would turn out, I had been trying to get his attention for months, I finally do and then I blow it completely.

 

Well, not completely, he said he would wait for me. He must understand how much I want him. He had been much kinder than I had expected him to be. Very polite and fun to be around actually, I had had a really nice time up until I argued with him.

 

I shook my head.

 

What kind of guy asks you to move in with him before you two have even slept together or dated? We were barely more than acquaintances, the Joker really is a reckless kind of guy. What if I had been an undercover cop or something? He could have taken me back to his place and I could have called the police, why would he trust me that much?

 

It seemed silly of him to ask me to move in. No wonder I had to say no.

 

That made me think of Roger, my fiance I had while getting my bachelor’s. We had met in a basic psychology course and hit it off right away. He was very sweet and submissive and the kind of guy I had felt comfortable with at the time. I had just been beginning to deal with my issues from being abused by my father. Roger had helped me through it, we had dated for two years before he moved in with me. Six months after that he got his masters and proposed to me at his graduation.

 

It was near our three year mark that he had found out that the secret project he had been working on for five years, the one that would have made his career, had been stolen. It crushed him completely and he dove into a steep depression. Only a week later he hung himself in our bedroom. I came home to find him still swinging.

 

That had begun a very dark part of my life. I had doggedly thrown myself into my school work and through medical school. My life had only turned around once I began working at Arkham, it’s been seven years since Roger died. I realized right this moment that I had stopped thinking about him for a while now. I guess, since about the time I met the Joker.

 

I sighed, and picked up my dish of creme brulee and walked out of the restaurant. It was empty now, everyone must have left when we started arguing. I guess I had ruined everyone’s friday night. I didn’t see any of the staff either, Peter hadn’t even come for the check.

 

As I made it to my car and turned it on I wondered why the police never came after me. They should be able to match the bullet from my gun, and it’s registered. A rookie cop would be able to solve Porn ‘stache’s murder. So what happened? Did the bullet shatter? Or there is a queue at the lab?

 

I drove down the street and towards my apartment building with more questions that answers. Only after getting into my place did I finally realize that my dream came true. The Joker finally sought me out, was happy to see me. He kissed me, he wanted me to be with him! I had been hoping for months just to see him, now I knew he was the best kisser I had ever locked lips with.

 

I was so happy that I put on some music and danced around for awhile.

 

Before going to sleep, I hoped it wouldn’t be another three months before I saw him again. Next time I needed to get that shirt off of him so I could see his tattoos. They tell a lot about a person. I noticed, thinking back on it now, that he had playing cards on his neck, a clown on his right shoulder and his name across his abs. It was a lot in one space and I wondered what else he had. I closed my eyes and saw his face smiling at me again, blue eyes, white smile with red lips, white skin and green hair. A mix that would normally be frightening, and probably was to most people, but I found it endearing. Screaming out that he wanted to be unique from everyone else.

 

He didn’t need all of that though, he was very unique without so much extra. I thought about what he must be like inside, I still haven’t gotten into his head for all that I apparently have his heart. I understood he didn’t welcome an intrusion, preferring to be mysterious.

 

Fear, is an emotion that causes us to hide from others, use masks, shut people out. Fear drives us to become a predator, so that we don’t have to be prey. Something had to have triggered him to become what he is today.

 

Maybe that’s why he liked me. I was never afraid of him, not really, nor am I afraid to open up to him. Even if he is bad, I know he kills people, he must know I know that, how could I not? He was The Joker of Gotham. Top ten of the most wanted criminals in the U.S.A. 

 

And he wanted me to move in with him?

 

What would my life be like? If I did?

 

My mind slowly faded off into dreaming, when I woke the next morning I couldn’t remember any of them, but a vague sense of his smile persisted in my mind all Saturday.


	10. The Deleted Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After seeing Suicide Squad I looked around online for those mysterious deleted scenes Jared Leto mentioned in interviews. I found one that was taken with a cell phone camera. It showed the Joker and Harleen. I interpreted what I saw in the video, and I made this chapter for it.
> 
> I would love to know what you think about this chapter! Please review. :3

Chapter 10 The Deleted Scene

 

Harleen was bored out of her mind at work on Thursday. Normally it was a short day for her with just Henrietta and a little paper filing to do. But the senior staff had emailed about a meeting at 3 o’clock and she had to stay until then. Harleen had been planning on leaving at lunch.

 

She decided to take a stroll around the hospital and look at the new construction that had just been finished in the redesigned high security wing. When she got there she could see that there were guards at the entrance door to the wing. “Hiya Boys!” She called out and waved to them from down the hall. Her heels clicking all the way until she stood in front of them. “Hello Doctor.” They said to her. She was wearing a red dress under her white coat with black pumps and her hair in a bun held by hair sticks. She knew it was forbidden and wore them anyway, no one had said anything to her until now.

 

“Ma’am, if you like to go in then you must take off your shoes, hair stuff, and any pens or sharp objects you might have.” Said one of the tall burly guards. The other one pointed to a little plastic bucket for the stuff. “Why?” She said even as she began to do what they instructed, taking off any sharp objects she had on. They didn’t bother to answer her.

 

She was allowed to walk barefoot through the thick glass doors into the main hall of the high security wing. There were only six cells now where there had been eight. That’s because the walls were made of heavy cinder block and reinforced with iron rebar now. Each cell had a metal door that was attached to a metal frame that was integrated with the reinforced walls. But the front of each cell had a giant bullet proof glass window so that you could see everything a patient was doing in there. She looked up to see a half dozen cameras hanging from the ceiling, one for each cell. Only one was occupied at the moment, She looked in and was totally shocked. The being in the cell was not human! It had bumby reptile like skin and was very large. It had its back to her and didn’t move to do anything else. Harleen walked past and left the wing after a few minutes she suddenly didn’t feel like disturbing whatever that thing was. She didn’t really want to know what it had done to get thrown into Arkham’s high security wing.

 

I took my little bucket of possessions back and begun to put my pens, keys and lipstick back into my pockets, tug my heels on and rearrange my hair again into a bun. The guards were quiet in those couple minutes. But I guess one of them felt they needed to speak up.

 

“You shouldn’t have those hair sticks here you know.”

 

I turned to look at them both, who were staring at me.

 

“Yeah I know!” I said cheerfully with a smile as I walked away from them.

 

I checked my smart phone and noticed it was two fifty and I needed to get over to the meeting room. Even though there were other people walking around and I moved down the halls saying “hello” and “looking good” to patients and coworkers alike I had this odd feeling about the echo my heels made on the floors. They seemed so loud I felt as though the noise were chasing people away from me. I knew it wasn’t true but it was a feeling I had nonetheless. That sharp click and rap of heel toe heel toe, made me also feel sexy and powerful and dangerous.

 

I walked into the meeting room and nearly everyone was there before me. They looked up from the long table and watched me come in and sit down. I saw not just a few interested leers in my direction. The taboo of sexy clothes at Arkham may not be there just because of patients. I suddenly wondered if there were dark secret things going on behind my back. Were male doctors raping patients and interns behind closed doors?

 

I blinked. Focusing back onto the man who was speaking.

 

“-that concludes the updates to our high security wing. Now, Ms. Newton has volunteered for a project, a talent show to be put on for christmas! We are hoping that we will get enough doctors to volunteer to help out, maybe teach some patients a trick or two. But care takers, security, and patient’s families are welcome to join in too. So who’d like to volunteer?”

 

I hadn’t expected anything like this. Dr. Lisbon had expressly forbidden large group activities because he felt it was too much stimulation. Other doctors including myself had disagreed, a talent show was healthy stimulation, and something for them to look forward to. Doing it during christmas would make it all the better.

 

I raised my hand sky high. 

 

Some of the others looked excited like me and I thought that this thing actually might work. My brain began chewing on a plan for a small skit. Maybe a circus theme, I knew Henry could juggle. Henrietta could sing a little and Margot could do cart wheels. I of course could be a one woman show what with my years of gymnastics under my belt. So I would be the one doing most of the action. 

 

“Great Great! I am happy to see some of your enthusiasm.” Said the senior member, I kept forgetting his name. He looked like the typical psychiatrist, middle aged man with brown bowl cut and thick black rimmed glasses. He had an actual pocket protector on his lab coat with pens in it and brown loafers on his feet. 

 

When I got out of the meeting I went back to my office to pick up my purse and stuff to take home. When I opened the door into my tiny closet of an office I noticed that there was a single rose in a tiny glass vase and folded piece of white paper on my desk. I picked it up and unfolded it, I immediately focused on the giant smiley face on it. Written in script so badly printed that it must be his said, “I wish to make amends my dear, please meet me after work at the Dyer’s lane underpass.” The signature was another smiley face with his eyes, colored in blue.

 

That shiver went down my spine again, it was so strong that I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath. He had sent me a secret love note, something no one had ever done for me. While rational thought told me not to meet with him, deep down I never considered not answering his request. I wanted to see him so bad. Talk with him, touch him, kiss him, so badly. Since the first moment I saw him my life had changed. The instant connection I had with his intense blue eyes speared through my heart.

 

I looked over at the kitty cat calendar I had on the wall, it was September now. It had only been a few months since meeting him, but it seemed longer. Or maybe shorter, I wasn’t sure how I felt about this passage of time. Or care at all, what did all this time keeping mean? Since everyone’s perception of time is different and pertains to certain moments and periods in life.

 

I walked out to my car, still struggling between seeing him or not. I wanted to go extremely bad. Yet, I knew that falling into his love was a trap that I might never get out of alive. It seemed preposterous to fall in love with a patient this crazy, the most crazy. I tried to contain the feelings, shove them away. But it felt like shutting myself into a dark closet.

 

I turned my car on. Took a deep breath and pulled my gear into drive. Telling myself that I was going to go past Dyer’s lane, just go home. That starting something with the Joker of all people was not healthy and I needed therapy myself.

 

As I drove down the roads towards home I was very aware of exactly how close I was getting to Dyer’s Lane, slowing down when I saw the sign for it. I turned.

 

Stepping on the gas pedal I flew down the road, knowing that very few cars passed by here. I felt angry, with myself for being stupid, with the Joker for manipulating me, with my father for hurting me and leaving me with issues I will never grow out of. I was mad at my mother for being weak, I was mad at Roger for abandoning me, mad at Dr. Lisbon for giving me over to the Joker. I am mad at that fucking cop who beat my face, I am mad at everyone in my whole life who told me what to think, how to act, what to learn.

 

Everything I have done has lead to this moment, down this road, to see him.

 

When I got to that underpass in the middle of nowhere, I was alone. 

 

Suddenly I felt like I needed to be free of these feelings. To break away from this obsession of him. That I need to tell him to leave me alone so I can go back to my life. I had to end this.

 

I am feeling so emotionally turbulent I couldn’t just wait in my car, so I pushed the door open violently and stepped out onto the road. The area around me was flat for miles and it was boring to look at. I could see down the road either direction clearly.

 

I saw a red speck on the horizon coming from the opposite direction that I came from. I looked back, my car was parked off to the side of the underpass, the roar of cars on the freeway above seemed muted down here.

 

That red speck got bigger slowly, then quickly became a red blur. I am standing in the road still but off to the side a little. Now I could tell the car was approaching at high speeds.

 

Closer.

 

It wasn’t slowing down. I felt my heartbeat speed up.

 

Was it him? Was he going to speed right by me? Hit me? Out here on the road he could kill me and no one would know. It could be days until someone found my body. The red car was so close now I could tell it was some luxury sports car, still barrelling towards me. I just stood there and watched it, not backing down.

 

I heard the tires screech on the asphalt and saw the car swerve while it came to a hault only a few feet in front of me. It had been so quick that I barely would have been able to move to the side.

 

The car was a gorgeous custom red lamborghini, I had never been as close to a luxury car of its kind before. Never drove one or sat in one either, I didn’t even dream about owning one because it was so unattainable to me. The driver door opened and his green hair crested the top of the car as he stepped out.

 

Of course that’s the Joker’s car.

 

“Hellloooooo Pooh Bear! I am sooo glad you came!”

 

He was very bright and cheerful, but I didn’t feel the same way.

 

“Hi.” I said bitterly and perched a hand on one hip. I was being rude and defensive, but his little stunt with the car only pounded in my argument that I needed to get out of this now. I shoved away the urge to run over and kiss him again.

 

He sensed my mood right away, but it didn’t seem to bother him much.

 

“How has your week been Darlin’? Did you miss me? I missed you very much.”

 

He walked over to me slowly and I watched him with suspicious eyes. I couldn’t trust how nice he is being, even if he seemed to like me now that we have gotten better acquainted. I decided to just dive right into my feelings.

 

“I....” Where to start?

 

“Yes Puddin’? You need to tell me that you never want to see me again? Or that this won’t work out? Bleh bleh bleh blah blah bleh?” I was taken aback, he had anticipated my reaction.

I frowned, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

 

“I am not just going to quit everything I have worked for in my life to become your fuck toy! I am not that kinda girl!” He rolled his eyes at me! “Every girl is that kind of girl, it takes one good dick to ruin it all!” He laughed at me mockingly.

 

My anger had been embers, now I felt a real flame come up.

 

“Fuck you! Why would I want to be with you? A damn clown going around and blowing up buildings and people all over Gotham. Who the fuck are you to judge me?”

 

He laughed freely at me, stepping towards me again, in a zig zag pattern. It made me feel like he was going to try to grab me, so I stepped to the side and backed away from him abit. 

 

He looked really good with his silver jacket and maroon shirt underneath that was halfway unbuttoned so I could see his pale chest and tattoos. I realized now he had probably dressed sexy like that for me. And I had greeted him with a frown.

 

“I know you want me Harley! I know you shove your little fingers in that sweet honey pot for me. That all these words are you fighting yourself. Stop.”

 

I frowned, and stopped. I let my shoulders fall and stood still for a moment. He was right, as much as I hated it.

 

“Good girl.”

 

I heard a noise and saw behind him there was a truck coming up the road. The lamborghini was still parked perpendicular on the road and the truck wouldn’t be able to pass. But I didn’t say anything. While I had looked away he had gotten closer to me quietly. My eyes focused on him again and I spoke softly. “I am not going to just let you use me and toss me away like trash Mista Jay.”

 

His face slowly stretched out into a malicious grin. “If not me, it will be someone else Harleen. Everyone is used and abused in life.” He switched again, mirthful and did a little jig. Then did a “ta-da” stance with his arms out, presenting himself. “At least with me you will have a whole lot of fun while it happens.”

 

The truck slowed to a stop behind the lamborghini.

 

He snapped his fingers to get my attention again. I felt my heartbeat strongly. My eyes shifted back to his.

 

“No rules Harley, with me you can do anything you want, take anything you want, stay up all night, do drugs, go shopping, anything a fine lady like you desires.”

 

The truck honked its horn and The Joker turned to glare at the truck.

 

I put my hands on my hips. Still feeling like I wasn’t getting my point across. “I want to have a home, a husband, be successful with my career and raise a well adjust kid al’right?”

 

He rolled his eyes at me again. I felt my flame of anger get larger.

 

The truck honked a couple more times and it really pissed me off, he seemed to just ignore it.

 

“While we are together dear I will be faithful yes, but marriage is a slave contract and I won’t do it.” His eyes looked at me coldly then, contemptuously. His lips twitched in a snarl at the thought.

 

There was a slam of the truck door and I looked over to see the trucker stepping towards us holding a crowbar in his meaty hands. He looked disgusting to me: big hairy stomach exposed, stained shirt, greasy hair, dirty fingernails, and a very menacing expression on his face.

 

“Hey! You are blocking the road, move your fu-”

 

I pulled my blue .45 from its holster in my mid back and shot him square in the chest. 

 

He fell over in the road right where he stood without another sound. He was dead and not bothering me ever again.

 

The Joker was looking at me with surprised gleeful eyes, a maniacal grin on his face. “How did that feel Harley?” 

 

I frowned at him, mad at how much he had enjoyed it, mad at myself for not really thinking before I did it. There hadn’t been any hesitation, I got rid of a problem that was annoying me.

 

“No body gives a shit about some scum bag truck driver. He should have asked a little nicer.”

 

He laughed, seemingly very amused by my murderous ways. “Didn’t it feel wonderful to have that sort of freedom?”

 

His enjoyment made me even madder for some reason and it made me think about how easy it would be to get rid of him. That Gotham would call me a hero for shooting the Joker, that he had left himself very vulnerable coming out here alone. I aimed my blue .45 at his head, looking down the barrel at his smug smile.

 

“Oh? You want to shoot me now Harley? Am I a problem so easily vanquished? Fine then!” He shouted at me, stepping up to the barrel of the gun and tapping his head against it. “Go ahead dear, blow my brains out all over the pavement right now! If that makes you happy!” He nuzzled the barrel and it looked so ridiculous I couldn’t pull the trigger. 

 

I saw his body move, he rocked back, then his hand was a blur as it gripped the barrel of the gun and twisted it out of my fingers, now he had it. A second later I felt pain radiate into my face as his hand connected with my cheek bone. He had backhanded me and the power made me take a step back. Quickly realizing that now I am the one is the vulnerable position. Yet, he didn’t point it at me, he put the gun back up to his own head.

 

“You want me dead? The world would certainly be better for it I know! Can’t pull the trigger yourself? Well maybe I should do it!” His eyes blazed into mine and I could see that deep down he understood the monster he had become. I looked at him alarmed, not wanting him to do it. Not wanting him out of my life that badly, realizing that I needed him. Wanted this deep connection with another person.

 

He read my eyes like a neon sign and closed the distance between us, locking lips with me. I kissed him passionately, pouring my emotions into him, desperate to feel his too. Long minutes went by kissing. At some point he growled against my lips and I clung to him tightly, he used a fist in my hair to pry my lips off of him. 

 

“Harley dear.” He said after we both took a second to compose ourselves. “I need to know if you truly want to be mine.” He took a step back from my body and released my hair, using the same hand to gently caress my chin. “I am enacting a major plan of mine and I will need to leave Gotham for a long while. Do you want to come with me?”

 

I looked into his gorgeous blue eyes and knew it would be so easy to say yes. So easy to ignore reality and just run away with him. But what would happen to me in six months when he got bored? How could I return to Gotham? How could I get a job with that kind of black mark on my record? Psychiatrist who ran off with her homicidal patient is not good on a resume. I couldn’t just throw away everything I have worked for.

 

“I, I can’t.”

 

He leaned in and put his lips to my ear, “Pretty please.” He whispered to me, making my panties melt inside my tight blue jeans. I whimpered, close to breaking.

 

“I can’t just throw away my career I have worked so hard for.”

 

He roared angrily and pulled away from me, stomping his feet on the pavement. “Yes you can! What have they done for you? What has anyone done for you that makes you want to play by their incessant rules and manipulations?” His face contorting with his anger. I didn’t know what to do. “They will throw you away like garbage Harleen! They will hurt you more than I ever will! You could be mine! I would do anything for you! Burn down the whole world for you!”

 

He went back over to his red lamborghini, glaring at me.

 

I feel weak, ashamed that I’m not strong enough to fly with him. Match his passion for me.

 

“I’m sorry.” I called out to him.

 

It didn’t matter though, I knew. He just slammed his car door and peeled off driving back the way he had come.

 

Again, I was alone out there on Dyer’s Lane. One woman standing in the middle of a vast empty world. I had told the only person who needed me to leave, so I deserve to be alone.

 

I drove home to my quiet apartment, went to bed and cried.


	11. The Results

CH. 11 The Results

The Joker was so anxious he stayed up all night, calling the key people involved with his plan and getting reassurance about it. When there were no more people to call then he rearranged his guns, knives and candles in his room. Then carved designs into his walls of hell, torturing Batman and of his precious doctor’s face. He even checked the cameras in her apartment, she was sleeping soundly. Having no idea of the change in Gotham he was about to create.

The next day the plan worked out quite well right until the very end. The Joker used a bank robbery to attract Robin, then captured him with a giant cage, and took him to a hidden location. Directly afterward he left a clue for Batman to follow at the scene of the robbery that would lead him towards the docks.

There he had created an elaborate maze with shipping containers and played cat and mouse with Batman, watching him from a crane’s operator box high above the masked vigilante’s head. He laughed and taunted Batman, using fake Robin dummies to fool him. The last one had a recording of Robin’s voice that was yelling for help.

He hadn’t figured on Batman finding him and getting to him. Which was the only hiccup in the Joker’s amazing plan. Batman was able to use his tools to get up to where the Joker was hiding. He hadn’t counted on it so quickly.

That damn grappling hook Batman has on his tool belt is so fucking useful.

When Batman swung up and into the operator’s box with the Joker, he was trapped in a box and couldn’t pop out. The Dark Knight proceeded to beat his face in until the Joker gave up Robin’s location. Eventually the Joker did give in and told him just to save some damage to his face before he passed out. He knew it was too late to save Robin anyway.

“I have already won B-man!” He laughed as the shadowy hero jumped from the box and began to repel down to the ground. Desperate to save his young protege.

The Joker laid back on the floor of the box and waited. Letting the massive amounts of pain surge through his face into the rest of his body. He had pressed his “assistance” button the minute that Batman’s grappling hook secured onto the outside of the operator’s box. They would be there in minutes to pick him up and he could revel in his triumph and pain until they got him to his personal physician.

He didn’t mind a beating so much, because he would be healed in a manner of months, but Batman will endure the pain of loss for decades to come. A major victory for him today that would outlast his own generation of the Joker name.  He knew this because Batman was the type who formed deep emotional connections and viewed events in symbolic ways. Batman held a life in a priceless perspective, and today he has failed at saving one of his most precious souls. It was utterly naive think that he could save everyone, stop death.

Sirens wailed in the distance and approached quickly.

The Joker felt his consciousness slipping away, and the little he could see out of his eyes went black and he faded away. 

When the police found him, even with his pulverized face they could tell he was smiling. They knew then, it was going to be a dark day in Gotham.

\--

(Harleen 1st POV)

I was sitting in  my office when I heard an orderly's radio crackle in the hall outside. The volume was up and the voice speaking through the radio echoed down the hall. “Thompson!, Thompson, incoming patient, taking ‘im to emergency, bleeding like hell!” The orderly was running down the hall in his heavy boots, almost around the corner before he answered. “On’m way!” Minutes later I heard others running towards the emergency wing. 

Yes, I was curious. So I slowly crept out of my office and walked towards emergency, casually. When I got to the main entrance there were a couple people loitering around already, I now became a part of a group. A guy named Jonathan looked over at me, he was a patient who managed to get himself loose in the halls pretty often. I was used to seeing him in random places. He didn’t try to escape, I think he just likes to test his freedom. “Oh! Ms. Harley, your boyfriend's back, or like, half of him!” He grinned at me. There were rumors I was dating all sorts of people, so I didn’t assume he meant my gorgeous runaway patient.

I rolled my eyes. “Sure, Jonathon, I’m going in, don’t try to follow.” I put my fingers up to my eyes and made the sign that I was watching him. I put my badge up to the door way and a little light turned green and I went through the doors. After stepping into a busy hallway I turned around to make sure Jonathon and no one else went through with me, watching the doors close. I turned back to the busy-ness behind me and moved quietly towards the direction of focus. I finally got to the room, before I could go in someone caught my arm.

It was Jed. “Dr. Harleen, how do you know already? We just got him in here less than a minute ago!”

I frowned at him and shook my head. “Who is it?” I had gotten a hint, but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure.

He blinked at me like I was stupid.

I rolled my eyes again, and gave him an impatient look. It was really loud. So I used facial expression instead of yelling at him. He gave me an exasperated look and just told me, “He’s back! The Joker is back!”

About five people turned to glare at Jed.

I nodded and pushed past a nurse to get into the room where he was. There were about four doctors who were simultaneously working on different areas of his body even before surgery. One by his head, leg, arm, ribs. He had on a lavender long sleeve collared shirt and matching lavender slacks with dark green pinstripe. I am sure the outfit would look better on him not stained with blood, dirt and grease marks, his shirt was half ripped off already. His pale skin looked sickly smeared with blood and an awful panicky feeling crawled down my spine.

Not like the nice one I had been having, no, this one felt like a slimey monster with claws ripping apart my insides. The fear for him, he looked so gone already, so broken. I knew there had to be only one person who could have done this.

Batman. He must have fought with the Joker and caught him this time. I remembered all the times I had cheered him on when the news said he had caught some new bad guy. Suddenly that feeling turned right around to revulsion, and guilt that I had enjoyed the thought of Batman beating anyone this bad. I hated him for it. Hated myself for buying into the storyline and the media.

Does a good person beat the shit out of someone that badly? The Joker’s face was just meat and bone and swelling lumps, I couldn’t see his eyes.  His beautiful blue eyes, weren’t even able to be seen through his swollen face. When a hand moved out of the way I could see his teeth, red with blood, cracked and broken and fucked.

A doctor began using surgical scissors to remove his clothes, beginning with around his chest. The cloth made weird noises as the blood soaked parts were peeled away from his skin. 

I backed out of the room before I could see anymore of him. I rushed out of emergency and back to my office. There were tears on my cheeks. I started imagining the pain of the beating he had, started wishing I had gone with him and shot Batman in the back. From far away. 

I ran back to my office wishing I had never gone in to see. Slammed into my little roller chair and slumped on my desk crying. I sat for while using dozens of tissues and looking up coping mechanisms for hospital tragedies. Because, I am a psychiatrist and a college graduate and when we don’t understand something, we research. It’s soothing.  

Now that I had calmed down emotionally, I felt physically restless. I couldn’t bare to go back to the emergency room and decided to just call. It rang, “Hello emergency, what do you need?” I could hear beeping in the background. The woman’s voice was rushed and not too professional. “I wanted to know how our new patient is doing?”

A moment of silence, “Oh! Doctor Quinnzel, yeah, he’s in surgery. Lots of broken bones but... no organs pierced or anything. He needs a lot of work on his face. Doctor, he will be in a long long recovery... if he makes it through all the surgeries.”  

My heart dropped. Even though she had given me some good news, it was also very daunting. He would need months and even years of recovery.

“Oh.”

“You won’t be able to see him for a few days okay?”

“Ummm... Okay.”

A siren went off behind the phone and I could hear a rustling noise. “I gotta go Doctor.” And she hung up without waiting for my answer.

I sighed, my heart feeling heavy and tight with anxiety.

I picked up my stuff and left. Stopping at the gym on my way home and worked out for two hours before my grumbling tummy forced me to leave. I sat on my couch and ordered chinese food while I had a bowl of ice cream while I waited.

I put my TV on silent when I heard my doorbell ring and I quickly and quietly went into my room and grabbed my blue gun. I looked through my little peephole to see who it was. It looked like my regular delivery boy, Li.

I put the safety on and shoved the gun in the back of my pants. Then opened the door to Li, it really was him. He seemed nervous and swayed from foot to foot. “Hey.” I said a little coldly.  
He jumped like I startled him, “Oh Miss Harley, I have your food!” His volume increased and he kind of yelled at me. Shoving his hand forward with the styrofoam dishes in a plastic bag towards me.

A feeling came to me that he was hiding something and I shouldn’t trust him. He was only a kid but I had a bad feeling about his nervousness, and darting eyes. I saw his eyes look back down the hall three times now. I poked my head out and looked down the hall. A very skinny tall guy was waiting down at the end staring at us. He frowned when he spotted my face. Began to walk towards us.

“Oh my god! I am so sorry Miss Harley! He has guns I don’t know what to do!”

I inhaled deeply, leaned back into my doorway and took Li’s shirt in my left fist and yanked him into my apartment and stepped out the doorway and pulled my gun with my right hand in one swift motion.

“Get the fuck out of here! Who ever you are I don’t care! Just leave!.”

The man was halfway down the hall like a strange cartoon coming towards me with giant feet and easily near seven feet tall. He looked deformed in a way from how stretched out his bones seemed. His eyes were black pits when he spoke he had a whiney venomous tone. “I won’t forget! What you did to Bob you bitch! Can’t watch your back forever. I will keep hunting you no matter where you go.” He stared at me with a sour face.

My eyes zeroed in on him, the anger changing my own face while I processed his threat.

“You ain’t giving me a reason not’tuh shoot your ass right now!” The Brooklyn was spilling out of me again.

“You are just some dumb bitch! You couldn’t make a good shot even if the gun aimed itself!”

I took another step towards him and aimed my gun with both hands, and a solid stance. I began to take a few deep breathes, preparing to shoot if he moved. I aimed at his left shoulder, so it could hit a wall with no one’s apartment behind it.

(3rd POV)

“I dare yuh!” He said to her looking amused 

Harleen looked dead into his eyes, smiled slowly, then pulled the trigger. His body took the hit and he fell right over backwards with a painful shriek. Totally losing his dignity as he whimpered and cursed at her. Shocked she actually shot him. 

Harleen ducked back into her apartment and grabbed her keys, purse, some snacks and an overnight bag. Also, she pulled Li along by his arm and out with her into the hall. She locked her place up and turned away, pushing Li in front of her. “Okay kid, just run past ‘um. I’m gettin’ outa here. Thanks for the food, God bless yuh.” Then shoved the money she owed plus tip into his back pocket and smacked his ass to go.

He ran, hopped over the guy and down the stairs. She left quietly and put her stuff into her car and drove back to Arkham. It was the last place she wanted to be that day, but the only place she had to go. She used the facilities to  wash up and used her computer to watch a movie or two and then bunked down for the night on the couch in the staff lounge. There was a skeleton crew late at night and they didn’t use the place much.

When she woke up the next morning she had a fierce crick in her neck and the Joker on her mind. She needed to see him now. 

Harleen got up from the coach and went and changed her clothes, put on a little make up and did her hair to make herself presentable. Even though she knew the likelihood of him being coherent was slim, only hours after intensive surgery. It was also still very early in the morning when she walked down the halls towards I.C.U. which was the same room as emergency too. Arkham didn’t have a huge medical ward since it mostly took care of physically healthy people. It was a main disaster relief choice though, because they were fully stocked, just small. Most of the time the surgery room was only used for births and stabbings from the patients. Very rarely did anyone show up here with as much damage as the Joker has been inflicted with. The surgeries he will need will have to be done by only two members on staff who were capable at the operating table. Harleen thought about the damage to his teeth, wondering if he would need partial dentures. Arkham would have to call in a dentist for his treatment which needed to be so extensive.

When she entered his room she was relieved to see the bandages all over of this face and body. The monitor kept his heartbeat audible with little beeps, which were a nice steady rhythm now since he was sleeping. She didn’t feel any apprehension as she stepped up to his side and looked him over. At this moment she couldn’t even recognize him, he looked so small and weak lying in the hospital bed, with an I.V. in his arm and little sensors stuck to his chest. Yet, it still managed to be peaceful. After a few minutes of looking him over she sat down in the only chair and pulled out her smart phone, checking emails and stuff.

\-------------  (1st POV)

Around 8 o’clock his physician finally came in to check on him. He was startled by me, not expecting someone to be by his bedside at all. “Oh!” He took a moment to regain control of his face and heart beat. A breath or two, “Ms. Quinnzel, I am surprised to see you here on a Saturday.” I shrugged, “Doctor, Doctor Quinnzel. And I well.... I didn’t get to see my patient yesterday on his assigned day, and since he is back in Arkham now, I thought I should visit him.”

The doctor nodded and came inside the room, feeling more comfortable with my presence. He checked the monitors and the clipboard of his overnight notes. Nodding a lot. He turned back to me after a couple minutes of his inspection. “Well, doctor, he is going to need some extensive work done but he will live, that’s certain.” I smiled, relief washing through my chest like pouring water over a muddy window. It felt nice to have some light shine through me.

“He will need some work done on his face and teeth, I already called Doctor Wiggith who said he would come by today as it’s definitely a dental emergency.” I nodded. He kept talking, “It’s going to take some time for him to recover, at the very least three or four months. He has a broken femur and two ribs, then all that damage to his face.

I felt sad again, I was so heart broken that his gorgeous face might not come back to its former glory. Maybe he would be permanently disfigured? How was he going to handle seeing that in the mirror everyday?

The doctor sat next to me on top of the medical waste bin. He was staring at the wall and thinking while he spoke quietly to me. “I ran tests you know, trying to figure out his condition. I did them late last night while no one was around, it’s off the books you know? I just wanted to know why, why his skin and hair are like that?” He looked at me quite seriously, deep eye contact. He ran his fingers through his short dark hair, messing it up.

“I did find some inorganic chemical in his skin and hair, and blood. I think that’s what causing the strange coloring, but I don’t know. There is no record of this chemical in my databases, the closest thing that came up is synthetic antidepressants.” He looked back down at his hands and shook his head. “His hospital file is brand new, there is no record of vaccinations, age, birth record. I have no idea who he really is, this medical record is brand new. Which is ridiculous, he has been in this hospital before.”

He looked back to me and saw the interested look on my face, I spoke up, “I know, the files that were given to me were just back dated police reports. I didn’t get any Psych. Evals or medical either. Even though the police have detailed reports of him being incarcerated here before and escape attempts. It seems like someone wanted to keep me bogged down for months with outdated information.”

The doctor was nodding, it seems he has put some thought into the Joker issue too.

It was so relieving to talk about it, I kept going, “From what I read in the police reports, the Joker of the same description has been terrorizing Gotham for about 75 years! There is no way that he can be that old!”

The doctor shook his head again, “No, no, he is definitely under forty. I’d say about thirty five.” I nodded, agreeing with him. He looked at me again and smiled, I stood up from my chair and he rose too . “I am happy I got to talk to someone about this, and I have full clarity with you Doctor Quinnzel since you are his psychiatrist.” I nodded and shook his hand. There was an awkward moment, that he remedied. “Oh yes, I am Doctor Feller.” I smiled met his light brown eyes, their amber color reminding me of a puppy dog I couldn’t have when I was a child. I moved towards the door and said goodbye to him and walked out of the medical ward and back to my office where I grabbed my purse and put my phone on the charger. The weight of my gun in my purse felt good and solid by my side.

I needed food now so I went to the employee lounge to see what they had. I bought a cheap tuna sandwich from the cold vending machine, I was sure it would taste like shit, but it was easier than driving out somewhere. I just couldn’t leave yet though, I wanted to go see him again. But I needed to stretch and move around abit. So I walked around the outside of the buildings while I ate, watching the activities that had been planned for the weekend, like visitations, and painting class. As I came around the main building to the garden area I heard my name, “Doctor Harley! Doctor Harley!” I turned to see my patient Henry walking towards me with his brother and a little girl. He came over and gave me a hug, “Oh, Doctor Harley, thank you for calling my brother, he is here to visit today and we are planning my overnight at his house!” He told me excitedly. He was using bigger words than he typically did, more like a nine or ten year old today. I hadn’t ever seen him like this, he was focused. I couldn’t help but smile, even if he was just having a moment of clarity it meant he was having more positive moments.

He slipped his hand into mine and stepped back to grab his little niece’s hand too. She smiled up at him brightly. “I can’t wait to play tea party with you Henry!” Behind Henry’s back I saw Henry’s brother nod to his daughter that she did right. Not calling him uncle, that was a trigger word for Henry. He was fine being just Henry. The four of us walked into the gardens and talked about the upcoming visit next weekend. 

My mind kept going back to my poor Joker in the hospital bed with a cast on, and a wrapped up face. He wouldn’t be able to come out for sunshine and a walk for months. That would drive me crazy being in a stark hospital room for months, or in jail. I looked up at the window of his old room.

Was I any different than these people that we keep locked away? Everyone has their faults, and the human psyche is a very fragile thing. People move through their psychological problems as they age and mature and as their life changes. I glanced over at Henry talking to his brother for a moment. Who says that he couldn’t become a productive member of his family someday? I was able to move on from the trauma and abuse of my childhood. I focused on changing my life through education, it helped me get by. Only now, am I feeling that my problems are coming to head in my life.

I shot a cop in the head and left him in the street like the garbage that corrupt bastard was.

I don’t feel remorse, I am not shocked by my actions. I feel like I did the right thing in that moment. If the evidence ever came back to me and I got arrested, I could always plead self defense, I even have a witness if I could find him. But, as my psychological education goes, I am on the verge of being a psychopath. I even convince myself of this because the thought doesn’t scare me or worry me in anyway. Which is just another sign. 

That’s how the world works then, the psychopaths lead the sheep. It made me giggle, the thought of treating people like sheep, which I kind of do as my job.

I walked back over to Henry and his family, said my goodbyes and left them in the garden. Going back to my patient's hospital room and sat down beside him in the chair. I read a book on my smart phone for awhile. Until my eyes started drooping, I was tired. Nearly asleep when I noticed his arm move.

His arm with no IV was waving at me, and his head was turned slightly towards me. I stood straight up and my heart began to pound, he was awake! I stood up so he could see me through his puffy bruised eyes. They were still shining blue, even if they also had some redness from broken capillaries.His eyes looked a little frantic to me, and his heart monitor let me know his heartbeat was rising with faster beeping. 

“Hi!” I shouted a little, then took a breath and calmed down so I could think rationally. “Are you in pain?” He blinked and nodded his head fractionally. I leaned over and pressed the button for a nurse to come to him on the bed remote he had laying beside him. Only a moment later the front desk nurse came in, a different one from this morning. I didn’t know her.

“Oh he’s awake?” She sounded disapproving. “Yes.” I replied shortly.  

I was making deep eye contact, he didn’t look at the nurse who had walked in, I wasn’t sure if he could even see her anyways. I was just so relieved that he was awake that I couldn’t focus on her. The nurse didn’t care anyway though and she checked his monitors and his IV’s and looked him over. She leaned over him, “How much pain are you in?”

His eyes ticked towards her for a split second then back to mine, he tried to roll them. I smiled, “Okay, blink once when I get to the right number, from one to ten and ten being the worst pain.” I said it, even though I was pretty sure that the nurse was supposed to. I counted for him slowly, 1...2...3...4...5...6...7..” He blinked. The nurse nodded and turned his pain meds up a fraction, then let his IV do a faster drip. “Okay, that should hold you up for awhile, I am going to call the doctor. We didn’t expect him to gain consciousness this soon.” She walked out.  

I stood over my patient. I was smiling because I was so happy that he was awake, that he would live, my heart was blooming with happiness. While I had my moment alone with him I leaned over and whispered in his ear. “I was worried about you Puddin.” I stepped back again so he could see me with his limited eyesight. “I’m gonna make sure they take real good care of yuh, I will be by everyday to see yuh an’ if yer good I will bring you something special.” I winked at him, I know he enjoyed my Brooklyn accent. Which was ironic since most people in Gotham looked down on New Yorkers, and I had tried for so long to cover it up. The first guy that really likes me, also likes my accent. It’s a crazy mixed up world we live in.

I wanted to leave before Dr. Feller came in, I wanted to salvage at least part of my saturday for myself. So I grabbed my purse, bag and put my glasses on, and tied my hair into a ponytail. I turned back my Joker and gave him a wink and a shake of my finger at him. “Okay, no smiles for you mister!” Blew him a kiss and skipped out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes: thank you all for the support. I really dig the reviews. Sorry the next chapter took so long, I also have another one ready and I will post it soon. Promise! XD Merry Christmas everyone!


	12. The Chaos and...

Chapter 12 - A   The Chaos and...

Saturday afternoon I went home and checked the place out. It was untouched so I picked up my workout clothes and went to the gym which was my usual routine for Saturdays. I stopped at the store afterwards and picked up some chicken, veggies, and potatoes to make some soup for myself for dinner. I watched an action movie while I ate my dinner, then a horror movie while I had a big strawberry daiquiri for dessert. I also got some laundry done in that time and clean up from dinner. It was such a normal night from what has been my routine for months that it felt very relieving to just be home. No dressing up and going out to the clubs for me anymore, I had found who I was looking for.

He was lying in a hospital bed right now.

I slid under the sheets of my bed holding my little green bear that I had taken from work. It had been such a long time since I had felt the need to cuddle with a stuffed toy at night that it made me smile as I tucked the teddy bear into my chest. Closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep peacefully.

I woke up thinking about him. I tried to pretend I didn’t though. Going about my usual routine, like grocery shopping and errands. My mind kept creeping back to the Joker though. Over and over I thought about how badly beaten he was and how he would be recovering for so long and how easily he could have died or could still die. What if he got an infection? It’s even highly probable he would.

It was about 3 o’clock in the afternoon when I finally caved and went back to Arkham to go see him. I just kept worrying and maybe if I saw him for a while I could relax for the rest of my day off. I just need to see if he is doing better. I wish I knew what I could do to help him. Right now though he was out of it alot as they do surgeries and tests, and give him pain meds. It’s only been two days.

When I got into his room I made sure to wash my hands before touching him. The thought of an infection terrified me. When I turned around to face him at the bed though I felt the tight feeling in my chest relax and allow me to deep a deep breath in. He looked peaceful. The bandages around his face were less and newer and I could see that there was some very good stitch work done with surgical glue and the dissolving kind of stitches. The doctor had made extra certain to leave as little scarring as possible. I understood though, when working on a world class villain’s face, you want to please him as much as possible.

His lips were pretty swollen and split in a couple places, the dark red and purple contrasting greatly with his pale skin. His hair was greasy and someone had combed it back smooth so it would be more comfortable and not get on his face. I watched him for a couple minutes, his chest rising and falling and his heart monitor beeping really helped me relax. It felt reassuring he was alive and doing well. But I wanted to talk to his doctor again so I left the room and headed over to the main desk. The two nurses there told me the doctor was on his lunch break and should be in the staff lounge. I headed there, at a relaxed pace because I had no other plans this evening.

 

I saw him sitting with a pretty nurse at a table. She was talking to him while he chewed his sandwich, nodding during appropriate moments. He saw me come in over her shoulder and stood up quickly. He bumped the table  and startled the nurse who turned to see what he was looking at. She frowned at me in my blue jeans and printed tank top, casual dress clothes in Arkham’s business conservative atmosphere. He glanced back at her and moved around the table nonetheless, “I will talk to you later Kathy.”

He still had his sandwich in his left hand as he used his right to steer me back out of the lounge and into the hallway again, moving towards the East side of the building and the garden outside. Our steps echoed on the floor and he swallowed his bite of sandwich. “Ms. Quinnzel, I was thinking of calling you soon!” He took a moment to wet his mouth after eating and talking while walking. “He is doing remarkably well! His healing seems to be at the top point of physical ability, I am now sure he will make a full recovery.” I smiled as we made a turn down one hall. I could tell we were moving towards the garden. It did seem like the place to have a private conversation and not be behind closed doors.

We stepped out onto the earthen path towards the garden and Dr. Feller looked at me, a sparkle in his eye that had more to do with science than with a woman. “It’s almost extraordinary, his face looks like it has been almost a week. Not just two days. Which is wonderful, regarding his extensive damage before.”

We walked around the low shrubs that made the tiny maze of the garden, gravel paths and different kinds of rose bushes, shrubbery, and miniature maple trees created walls and landscaping. We found a cold stone bench to sit on.

“Have you looked into this chemical you found in his skin?”

The doctor nodded, “Yes! I looked at his hair follicle and the strand of hair specifically. Luckily this chemical has a signature that shows up in his hair, just like certain types of drugs. The oldest part of the hair had  incrementally more of the chemical that the newer portion of the hair. As if, it is slowly leaking out of his system over time.”

I nodded. “This explains the calmer behavior in the last couple years.”

The doctor frowned at me, confused. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged, “well, I remember when I was younger that it seemed like the Joker was on the news like once a week at least. That Batman was almost too busy with him to catch other guys. My mom would avoid Gotham during those times because she was afraid to run into a battle.” 

He nodded. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, ruminating on what we had learned from each other.I felt quite bored with myself suddenly, deciding that why he was the way he was isn’t important right now. That understanding him is really what matters.  Then Harleen had an idea.

“Hey, Doctor Feller?”

He gave me his attention.

“I have been really stressed out since my home was broken into twice this year. You think you could write me a prescription for some Valium?” he looked at me surprised, “two breaks ins in one year?” I nodded, thinking. “Make it three times if you count the cops who came and beat me up.”

Now he was astounded. “That’s why you had all those bruises! God, I had wondered. Kathy told me your husband beats you.” I shook my head, “I’m not married, and I don’t date. Nope, I was beaten by pigs with guns.”

He nodded again and pulled his little Rx notepad from his pocket and wrote up the prescription. “Sure Doctor Quinnzel, sure. Just remember to eat, get sleep, and don’t up your dose.” I nodded to him and took the piece of paper from him.

I stood up and he followed my lead. We walked out of the gardens, said our goodbyes.

After my back was turned towards him and I made my way around the building my face broke out into a grin. I had no intention of following the prescription guidelines. I didn’t feel stressed from my break ins, may be justly paranoid. I had wanted the pills to have a little fun with my life. So I went in and picked my prescription up and went to the lounge and got some snacks and headed into my office. I took a valium with some iced coffee and relaxed, watching a movie on my smart phone.

An hour later I left, driving home on the back roads. The trip was a blurr and when I got home I didn’t remember parking. I also didn’t seem to have the attention span to care. Instead I put on some music and opened my curtains and danced around. Enjoying people seeing me from across the street as they walked by. I enjoyed the idea of the public shock, enjoyment, lust or disapproval of me. I didn’t care about them though, I wanted to dance, so I did. When I was done I decided I wanted to go see the ocean. Grabbing my purse and a jacket I headed out the door and down to the garage. I saw my car parked and when I got close I saw that I had driven into the wall abit and crunched my bumper a few inches. A memory flashed back to me giggling when I did it. Nonetheless, I got into the car and headed towards the ocean which was only about a twenty minute drive from my apartment. Gotham had some nice beaches just outside the city proper and I felt the need for sand in my toes.

On the way I stopped at a liquor store and picked up a bottle of Jack and Coke before heading to the beach. I wrapped myself up in my jacket and to a long walk down the shore. By the time I was feeling very buzzed I was able to find a nice little spot to sit out of the wind and relax between two rocks. I watched the other people who came to the beach today. Families with small children, people walking their dogs, others exercising in windbreakers.

I little girl with wispy blonde hair just like mine spotted me between the rocks and ran towards me. “Hey!” She said. Her little bare feet leaving a trail behind for her parents to follow. They were focused on her toddling brother near the water. “Why are you here all alone? Are you hiding?” He adorable little voice asked me with simple curious eyes. She could have been my little girl, we looked so much alike, she could be me. Her question hit me right in the chest, because she was right. I am hiding.

I ran away from my past by going to college and to Gotham. I am trying to find reasons why my life was so awful by working at Arkham Asylum. Maybe I am interested in the Joker because he could be a man who doesn’t expect me to be a perfect lady doll like all the others. I am hiding my real brutal reality from myself, by sitting here at the beach.

“Oh!” She exclaimed in dismay. “Don’t cry!”

I blinked and felt warm tears spill down my cheeks. The emotion had risen so quickly that it caught me off guard, I was crying before I knew it. I shook my head. “I’m sorry.” She smiled wryly at me, clearly understanding more than her scant years afforded her. “When I cry, my mommy hugs me and I feel better. Wanna hug?” She opened her arms to me.

It choked me up real bad, seeing this little blonde angel open her arms to me. It’s as if some kind ghost of myself came to comfort me. I nodded while more tears gushed out of my eyes and I hugged the girl close. Her little body was warm in my arms and I pressed my cheek to her shoulder and sniffled. He arms squeezed me, pouring out compassion for me from her little heart. I turned five years old again in a flash, my life had been so dark and painful, my childhood innocence taken away before I could ever understand what was happening to me. This little angel was giving me love and understanding, and with my whole heart I wished that she stayed happy and blessed as she is right now in this moment with me. 

“Abby!” I heard a yell from a woman. “Abby! Get over here now!” I blinked away tears to see a woman running towards us, her mother. The little girl gently let me go, slowly using her tiny fingers to brush the tears from my cheeks. “I gotta go now, don’t cry anymore okay?” She petted my head like a dog, then turned to look back at her mother. Who had a horrified expression on her face as she came up to us.

“Abby! I told you not to talk to strangers! What were you thinking!” The mother shouted at her little girl once she was close enough. Abby just looked at her mom, “the lady was all alone, she needed a hug.” Like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe kindness is obvious to a pure soul of a child. The woman picked up Abby and swung her onto her hip and glared at me menacingly. I didn’t take her protective instincts personally. I would probably do the same thing.

So I smiled at the woman. “You have a little angel there, keep her safe okay?” I said softly to the woman, swiping at a stray tear that leaked out again. Now the woman really looked at me, seeing the pain written on my face. She nodded and turned away, the little girl waved to me as she was carried away. I waved back until she couldn’t see me anymore.

I didn’t touch my bottle again, and let myself sober up. I tried to throw my thoughts away and stay empty like a shell, listening to the ocean’s rhythm and the gulls flying over head. The sunset and I walked back to my car in the dark, like a ghost wandering the beach. 

But this ghost drove her car home in silence, unlocked the door and pulled on pyjamas. I knew that this coming week would be mostly normal and boring for me. It sounded to reliving, because I just couldn’t take anymore excitement.

\---- 

My week was very normal and busy, visits with my patients went particularly well. Between miscellaneous duties that were given to me, paperwork, and visits I also checked in on the Joker frequently. Only a few times he was awake or semi-coherent. I made sure to check his chart and with the nurses verbally to make sure all his medications were normal. When I go home at night I think about him, I dream about him. I keep trying to convince myself that I am just infatuated and don’t really love him. I also tell myself to cut the crap, ever since I met the Joker my life has revolved around him like the moon. I had a duty though, to give him good mental health care and try to relieve his suffering.

On Friday I pulled into work and slammed on my breaks in the middle of the parking lot shocked to see a certain large black combat vehicle parked in front of the entrance. I stared at it, looking so unusual compared to all the sedans and minivans in the parking lot. His combat vehicle looked like a snarling rottweiler with a spiked collar, like it would bite you if you stepped too close to it. Like he was a hunter, here to find his prey. I came out of my shock, pulled into a parking space, shoved my purse into my armpit and ran inside the building. Right towards my Joker’s hospital room, frantically thinking that the dark hero had come to finish the job. When I scanned my pass into the hospital wing I barely waited for the doors to crack open before I rushed through and into his room.

To find it empty except for him. He was sleeping still, probably because of some drug they put in his IV, knowing that he would be hard to handle awake. Better to just keep him sleeping for a week straight. I felt like the prince waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up. Not knowing she is under a spell, just waiting for the moment those eyes open. His room was quiet and white and stark. The constant quiet beeping of his machines showing the passage of time. I turned back and went out of his room and to the main desk of the hospital section. After a minute one of the nurses came out and greeted me. I asked her where the Dark Knight was, she didn’t know what I was talking about. I wondered what the hell he was around for if not to kill the Joker.  

I sat down in a chair in his room and let myself calm down, feeling my heartbeat slow. A few deep breathes and I felt better again. Then there was a beep and I could hear the doors of the medical wing open up. I stood up to see who it was and went to the door way. Sure enough it was Dr. Lisbon with the Dark Knight. They were talking to each other and walking towards the room. I felt my anger and frustration boil up inside me, Dr. Lisbon was his way into this place. I had known, but seeing them walk so casually in here just pissed me off.   
They finally noticed me, blocking the doorway, looking very much the doctor with my glasses and lab coat over my business casual skirt and blouse. 

“I’m not letting you touch him!” I yelled at them from just a few feet away, now that I had gotten their attention. Lisbon frowns at me and stops, Batman instantly takes a solid fighting stance, his chest thrust towards me. Both of them treated my like a threat, and I took advantage of it.

“He’s perfectly harmless right now and I am not going to let anyone come in and fuck with him! Attacking an injured man is wrong no matter who it is, or the reason why.” I put one hand on my hip and the other across the doorway.

“I am going to go in that room.” The dark Knight growled at me.  I shook my head. “No, you’re not.” He stepped towards me and I kicked him in the chest when he got too close, putting him on his ass on the linoleum floor. Lisbon was completely shocked, stepping away from the both of us. Batman stood up and made a grab for me, I dodged him and punched him in the eye. I felt the crunch as one of my knuckles broke on the edge of his mask. The pain flared through my arm, but my focus was on stopping  him from getting to my Puddin. I missed his lunge and he punched me in the gut. My abs tightened around his fist and the shock and air came out of me. My whole center radiated pain and cramping and I went to my knees as I gasped for breath. He moved around me into the doorway and I desperately clutched his leg and pulled, tripping him and he went to his knees too. “Stop it Doctor.”

“You can’t kill him! Fuck you! Fuck...you!” I yelled at him while he struggled to shake me off.

“I’m not going to kill him.” I shook my head, “Then why the fuck are you here? He’s not even awake!” His foot hit my gut again and my arms went weak and he pulled away and stood up.  
It was quiet a moment and then the Dark Knight spoke, “sure about that doctor?” I looked up at him, so dark and foreboding in the stark white hospital room. He looked like a heavily muscled grim reaper. He looked down at me on the floor and then bent to lend me a hand. He effortlessly pulled me from the floor and turned me towards the bed, hold my arms to my sides. Being manhandled would usually piss me off, but seeing my Puddin’s bright blue eyes peering at me made my heart stop a beat.

“Oh!” I said incredulously. My face breaking into a smile. “Hi Puddin!” His eyes had moved to Batman now, widening with obvious worry. The hands on my arms tried to pushed me out of the way but I planted my feet. “I’m not moving! You can not get between me and my patient!” I yelled at him obnoxiously. We struggled as he tried to move me and I wouldn’t let him. Twisting around to stay between him and the Joker, I yelled him him more. “You can’t just come in here and do whatever you want! You need to check in as a visitor! His doctor needs to see him! Security! Security!” I was causing a big scene, but I was really terrified that Batman would try to hurt him again. He finally just picked me up and tried to throw me out of the room, but I clung to and kicked him at the same time. Throwing him off balance and he fell to his knees, I kept kicking and punching him even while I was sliding to the floor.

“You are a pain in the ass Doctor!” he yelled at me while trying to catch my fists and make me stop hitting him. I wasn’t doing much damage against his armor, but it was keeping him distracted from the Joker. “Thanks! Now stay away from my patient!” I screeched and clawed him on the face like a cat. He reared back and his fist came hurtling towards me. He caught me on the side of my head and my whole world shut off. Batman knocked my lights out.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I had to clean up this story a bit before reposting it. I know there is switching from first to third POV. For this story I liked doing that and will continue to do so, but I get better at smoother transitions after this first chapter. 
> 
> Once you have finished reading, I would love to hear from you!
> 
> Blue Bananas


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